Everyone was rushed to the hospital after hearing Livvy was having her baby. I got to the hospital with Quinn, Hayden, Jeph, and Branden not too long after she had the baby. We were aloud to go in her room and see her.
‘Hey bitch.’ I laughed sitting next to her bed, ‘Was it a boy or girl?’
‘Boy.’ She told me, looking over at me.
‘Did you two think of a name yet?’ I asked her even though she looked exhausted.
‘Max.’ Livvy smiled.
‘That’s cute.’ I smiled back at her. ‘You should sleep now though.’ After I said that she looked grateful and closed her eyes. I walked up to Quinn and wrapped my arms around him. We had been planning our wedding out, and it was in a couple of weeks. I was really excited for it too. Quinn walked out of the room to get something to eat. I looked over at Jeph, who was sitting next to me.
‘What’s up Jeph?’ I asked him.
‘I can’t believe my sister just had a kid.’ Jeph laughed. ‘Other than that, living life.’
‘Awesome.’ I decided to spit out what was on my mind while I had the chance. ‘I want you to know, I still love you. And I’ve been thinking of what I want, and, if everything with Quinn doesn’t work out and I end up alone, and you just so happen to be alone, lets get married. Even if we’re forty.’
‘Where is this coming from?’ He asked me.
‘Well, here,’ I pointed to my chest, ‘and my head. Now answer me.’
‘Answer what?’ He wanted to know, turning to face me.
‘Just tell me if you want to.’ I sighed wondering if he would ever tell me.
‘Lilly, I would marry you right now, if I could. So can you imagine when we’re forty?’ He told me smirking.
‘If you wanted to marry me bad enough, you could put a stop to the wedding and everything.’ I told him honestly.
‘I don’t want to make you do anything you don’t want to. I want you to be happy. But yes, I’ll marry you when we’re forty if there’s a chance.’ He answered my questions.
‘I think it’s easy to make me happy to be honest.’ I confessed.
‘Well, Quinn has always done the better job.’ Jeph told me.
‘Somewhat.’ I sighed thinking about a few bad things. I did wonder what would have happened if I had stayed with Jeph.
‘This hospital takes forever!’ Quinn exclaimed, walking into the room with a plate of food and sitting down on the other side of me.
‘Not really. Only for you it seems.’ I laughed looking over at Jeph.
‘Would you like some?’ Quinn offered before touching any of the food.
‘No, I’m not really hungry.’ I told him looking back at him. ‘I need some air, I’ll be back.’ I was opening the door to the stairs when I heard a button to the elevator being pushed next to me. I looked over and saw Jeph standing there.
‘Why don’t you just take the stairs with me?’ I asked while holding the door open.
‘I’ve already told you that I don’t take stairs.’ Jeph reminded me of so long ago as the doors to the elevator opened. ‘See you on the other side.’ He said dramatically.
‘Uh-huh.’ I laughed as he got on the elevator. I decided at the last minute to take it with him.
‘So, how many buttons do I have to push to get in some action with you?’ Jeph asked, trying very hard to make it awkward.
‘Depends on what the actions are.’ I told him.
‘I’d like to get a little of everything in.’ He laughed as he pushed the button for the Lobby.
‘Well, that’d take more than one button.’ I laughed with him pushing a few more buttons.
‘You’re not serious, are you?’ Jeph looked over at with wide eyes.
‘Hell yeah bitch,’ I held my hand up to him like it was a gun, ‘Now take it off.’
‘Actually, I’d rather be too close for comfort and make you realize how much you want me back.’ Jeph smiled walking up to me and wrapping his arms around me.
‘I don’t think you could ever be too close for comfort with me.’ I told him putting my arms around his neck.
‘Don’t do anything you’d regret now Lilly. I’m not here to be a home wrecker.’ Jeph told me, taking my arms off him.
‘Okay.’ I mumbled. The elevator dinged, and it was the second floor, not the lobby. I got off there. ‘Whatever…’
‘Get back on the elevator.’ Jeph ordered, pulling me back on. ‘Don’t be stupid, you’re not going to the second floor. That’s for the dying people.’
‘I am going to die someday too.’ I said to him getting back off the elevator.
‘Maybe.’ He started, pulling me back on the elevator. ‘I’d like to spend some time with you before you’re happily married, eh?’
‘Doesn’t seem like it really…’ I half whispered to myself as the elevator doors closed again.
‘Spending time means making out now? I don’t want to hurt Quinn, and ruin everything for you. I’m not worth that Lilly.’ Jeph explained.
‘Fuck you Jeph, you know how much you’re worth, a hundred times more than Quinn. I would risk my chances with him, just to spend one night with you.’ I almost yelled at him. I couldn’t believe what I was saying, it all just came out before I even thought about it.
‘You don’t mean that. This is just heat of the moment shit Lilly. Quinn and Hayden are your family, everything to you.’ Jeph assured me.
‘You’re everything to me too. I know you don’t believe a fucking word I’m telling you, but… Nevermind. Whatever.’ I sighed and just stopped talking altogether.
‘I’m sorry for not wanting to mess things up.’ Jeph sighed, pushing a few more buttons. The elevator door opened again at the lobby, but Jeph pushed the “door close” button and we continued going.
‘Would you regret not doing anything, if I died tomorrow?’ I asked as the elevator paused on the “dying people floor.”
‘Why so much mentioning of your death? I would hate it if you died, ok?’ He told me.
‘I guess the dying people kind of made me think about it.’ I answered.
‘Are you really mad at me? You don’t really want to take a chance in ruining everything for one elevator ride with me now, do you?’ Jeph made me think.
‘I’m pretending to be mad at you ok?’ I muttered, ‘Honestly, I can’t say no. Ok, I’ve thought about all the risks and everything… damn it, I was trying to NOT talk to you anymore during this ride.’
‘I can’t, won’t, do this to Quinn.’ Jeph replied firmly.
‘Right…’ I mumbled thinking about all the times Quinn hurt me. The next time the elevator dinged, I knew that I was getting off, no matter what.
‘You’re getting married in two weeks, think about that.’ He reminded me.
‘You want to know something, I caught Quinn a week or so ago making out with some chick at the bar. You don’t think I’m fucking hurt by it? Fuck.’ I sat on the elevator floor and almost started to cry.
‘If he screws this up, he’s missing out on something great.’ Jeph sat down in front of me, looking at me.
‘I don’t even know if he fucked the girl or not, I didn’t bother asking him. I just don’t want to deal with that shit anymore. Jeph, I don’t know what to do. I honestly don’t.’ I told him thinking about what he had just said.
‘It’s funny how life works.’ Jeph mumbled.
‘What do you mean?’ I asked him.
‘Two guys are in love with the same girl. And the one who doesn’t seem to care wins her love. She’s too caught up in their own world to notice the other guy, who would do anything to have her, and sacrifice his own happiness for hers. And of course, the guy who wins the girl doesn’t realize just how wonderful she is. I guess that’s just how life works.’ He explained to me. I had no idea what to say. I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close to me into a hug. I tried to hold back my tears, but I couldn’t help it now, it all just came out. ‘Hey, no crying here missy.’ Jeph pushed me back in front of him so he could see my face.
‘I don’t want to cry. I hate crying. I just… can’t hold it in any longer. Jeph…’ I started, but he interrupted me.
‘Lilly, Quinn really is a great guy. Give it some time. I’ve known him forever.’ Jeph told me as if he wanted me to forget everything he just said. I heard the elevator ding again, and we were on the top floor. I knew I was going to get off now.
‘I’m going out there.’ I told him with tears still in my eyes. I wanted to slap myself for crying in front of him.
‘Do whatever makes you happy.’ He gave me a weak smile before we both stood up.
‘I can’t, you won’t let me.’ I said before walking off the elevator. I was walking down the empty hall when I heard running footsteps behind me.
‘I’d like to say something before you decide to stop talking to me for who knows how long just to try convincing yourself that you really are happy.’ He said. ‘I was going to say, before you so rudely walked off the elevator, that in the end you won’t be happy with me. I’m not saying this to make you mad at me, I’m telling you how it is, no matter how much I don’t want to. Quinn will always be the one you truly want.’
‘I’m only marrying him for Hayden’s sake.’ I told Jeph. I wanted to say more, but decided not to, so I turned away from him and started walking again.
‘There’s a part of you that’s marrying him for the right reasons. You’ve always left me for him. Even if all he had to do was say a few cheesy lines.’ Jeph followed me. ‘He has to mean something to you.’
‘Of course there is a part of me that loves him, but he won’t ever stop cheating on me. I hate him, but love him at the same time. And, I do love you. I have never had any reasons to hate you. I know now that leaving you was a mistake…’ I sighed and continued walking again.
‘I’m not going to let you ruin everything. I know that you do love him. You’re just rambling. Trust me.’ He wasn’t following me. I turned around to say something, but couldn’t. No words would come out. I felt as though I was going to fall to the floor and never be able to stand again. Jeph stood there, watching me.
‘I think you’re scared. Your wedding day is in two weeks, and yes, you’re allowed to be scared. Maybe you haven’t faced the fact that Quinn is going to be your man, and I, won’t. Or maybe this is one of those things where you’re making sure you’re making the right decision. You are, don’t worry. Everything will work out.’ Jeph smiled at me. I must have had a terrible look on my face, because his smile faded quickly. I walked up to him and grabbed his shirt to pull him close to me.
‘You’re wrong. I fucking love you Jeph.’ I whispered to him and took off running before he could see me cry again.
I watched her run away, before I chased after her. When I got close I grabbed her shoulder and spun her around.
‘Would you like to know why I haven’t given in yet?’ I asked her, staring into her eyes. She nodded her head. ‘I love you Lilly, only you. And trust me, I’m not lying. I don’t want to get my hopes up again. Look at us, we’re standing on the top floor of a hospital. You may love me, but all the signs are pointing to Quinn. You may not know it, but you’ll hurt me too if you do this. I know you won’t leave Quinn for me. And it hurts, so much Lilly.’
‘You have no idea what’s going on in my head. You don’t know what my heart is telling me to do right now. What do you have to lose if you give in?’ She mumbled, ‘Damn it Jeph.’
‘What’s that?’ I asked her. ‘Because I can’t take these games anymore. I’m only second best, so I always lose.’
‘I’m giving you the chance to win right now, and you don’t want it.’ She sighed.
‘It’s not that I don’t want it. You have no idea how badly I want it. It’s that I don’t want to ruin something that could be great for you. I know what it feels like.’ I explained, knowing she probably wouldn’t understand. The hallway was generally empty, being the top floor. A nurse passed by here and there, but other than that, there was nothing to worry about.
‘I already ruined something great, and I do know what it feels like… What do you have to lose?’ She asked again.
‘It’s not that I’ll “lose” anything. It’s that, if you lead me on, again, and then go back to Quinn, I don’t know what I’ll do. Because I can’t take it anymore.’ I tried telling her.
‘You know what, I can’t take Quinn anymore. He’s constantly hurting me…you don’t even know…’
‘I’ve always said that I wanted you to be happy. And I guess I’m the one you want, for the moment. I don’t know why that is, but I’m not complaining.’ I walked closer to her.
‘What the hell? Jeph, I’m giving you this chance, and you don’t want it. What the fuck ever.’ Lilly said completely giving up.
‘So, maybe we should go back before they start wondering, and visit little Max, eh?’ I suggested.
‘Probably.’ She sighed, ‘But, you have to take the stairs with me.’
‘Alright, if it’ll make you happy.’ I sighed thinking about the chance of a lifetime that just blew away.
‘Dude shut up! You’re gonna wake her up!’ I heard Branden yelling but whispering at the same time. I slowly opened my eyes and looked over at him.
‘Branden, shut the fuck up.’ I mumbled loudly.
‘Oh, sorry.’ He said looking down.
‘Oh it’s ok. Just, keep your fat mouth shut.’ I smiled like I was being nice.
‘Hey baby, the doctor said you can leave in a few days.’ Bert said sitting down next to me on the bed.
‘Hey.’ I looked up at him, extremely happy to see him for some reason. ‘How’re you?’
‘I’m fine. I’d expect you to be in some serious pain and shit. You were yelling at me like fucking crazy while pushing that baby out.’
‘Aw, I’m sorry. I love you. Where’s he at anyway?’ I wondered aloud, even though I knew the answer.
‘The doctors have him with the other babies. You know.’ Bert somewhat explained.
‘Mhmm, yes, I know. How’s it feel, being a Dad and all?’ I asked him.
‘Actually, it’s completely horrible. I don’t know why we made that thing, I mean when it came out, I wanted to push it back in, you know?’ He said as serious as he could manage.
‘In other words, you were utterly repulsed?’ I grinned. ‘You’re the one who always has surprises, and you’re the one that wanted to dance for me that night, so don’t complain.’
He stared at me for a bit, ‘Now I’m repulsed. It looked like the baby came out with a bunch of guts. It was nasty. I still love you though. And, I am truly happy.’
‘Don’t worry, I’ll work out like mad. Just so we can have hot sex again, ok honey?’ I laughed.
‘Hell yeah. I like the sound of that.’ He laughed along with me. I saw the door open and Jeph walk in.
‘Hey bro.’ I greeted him as he sat down in an empty chair.
‘Hey sis. How are you?’ He asked me. I saw Quinn get up quickly and walk out of the room.
‘Well you know, fine and dandy aside from the fact the I just pushed a baby out of my vagina.’ I replied.
‘Okay. Are you hungry?’ Jeph asked quickly.
‘A little.’ I smiled at him. ‘Were you here for the birth? I don’t remember.’
‘Thank god I wasn’t. Uh, you’ve made this very awkward for me, so I’m going to get some food for anyone who wants some.’ He laughed, ‘I’ll meet the baby sometime.’
‘So…Hey Branden.’ I smirked, realizing how many people have left the room. I must be making everything awkward.
‘Hey Livvy. I’m sorry I woke you up.’ He said.
‘Oh no, it’s cool. I had to get up sometime.’ I told him. ‘But damn, no respect man.’
‘Sorry sorry. Are you drugged up at all?’ He asked me.
‘Branden, think logical. If you just had a baby, would you be drugged up? I think yes.’ I answered him.
‘I’m fucking glad I don’t have to have a baby. Do they have cable here?’ He wondered.
‘Yes. And you lucky fuck, all you have to do is the baby-making. Bert here didn’t even gain any sympathy weight.’
‘I know, I’m lucky as hell. I sure do miss yelling at Travis.’ He said out of no where.
‘I miss watching Martha too Branden.’ I laughed. ‘You just miss your butt buddy.’
‘I HATE Martha. What the fuck?’ He stared at me like I was a disease.
‘Just saying.’ I put up my hands in defence and then scooched over a little. ‘Bert, lay down with me.’
‘Alright.’ He smiled and laid down next to me. ‘Let’s fall asleep like this.’ I didn’t need any permission, I feel asleep before Branden had the chance to say anything else. I woke up at least an hour after I had fallen asleep. Bert was still sleeping next to me. He had his arm around me, and he was drooling. The nurse walked in the room to do a check up.
‘How are you feeling?’ She asked me.
‘Have you ever had a baby? Giving birth sucks ass.’ I responded sleepily.
‘No, I’ve never had a baby. Are you in any pain?’ She asked again.
‘Yeah. Not as much as earlier though.’ I told her.
‘That’s good. On a scale of one to ten, how bad is the pain?’
‘About a seven.’ I answered.
‘Well, I’m going to give you a shot, ok? It will help to ease some of that pain. You might get a little sleepy from it though, so I’ll be right back.’ She told me before walking out of the room. I swear they just wanted me to stay drugged up. She was back in no time, and had me lay on my side to put the shot in my butt.
‘Why does it have to be the butt? Always the butt.’ I muttered when she was done. She just looked at me and smiled. I heard someone laughing at me, and looked to see that Branden was still here. ‘What the fuck Branden?’
‘You are messed up Livvy. Just plain messed up.’ He continued laughing.
‘How so?’ I wondered looking over at him.
` ‘If only you could see yourself right now.’ He cracked up with laughter. I didn’t find him too funny at that moment. ‘Go back to sleep.’
‘Livvy.’ I heard Bert say.
‘Yeah?’ I said instantly. I waited for a response, but didn’t get one. ‘Bert?’
‘Shit, he’s sleep talking.’ Branden laughed, but shut up quickly when I turned my head toward him. I laid my head back down and fell back asleep.