FicWad

Nobody knows about my dad. That he gets very angry, that he takes his agression out with his stupid words and his stupid fists. I hate him when he gets like that, when he is stressed.

The most recent time was exactly a week after Josh left me to go back to Shauna. He had been jokingly teasing me, and I had been upset, so I told him three or four times to please stop. Of course he didn't; he found humor in my aggrivation. I eventually yelled at him, slammed a cabinet, and went upstairs to lock myself in my room.

Moments later, he was outside my bedroom door, yelling angrily for my to unlock it. Figuring things may be less harsh if I just opened it like he'd demanded, I unlached the chain lock and opened my door a crack. Before I had the chance to react, his thick fist came into contact with the side of my head.

I stepped back and angrily yelled, "What is your problem?"

Apparently I had broken the cabinet I had slammed. I yelled at him to get out of my room.

It's fuzzy what else happened. I remember him throwing my remote control at my wall, it smashing apart into its seperate components. Yelling. Threatening to call the cops, to call DHS. Him throwing my desk chair at my guitars. And punches, to the head.

I told him I hated him, because I'm the teenager and everyone knows we don't really mean anything we say. And he told me that it was good I hated him, because he hates me too... And you just don't do that. As the father, you don't tell your seventeen-year-old daughter that you hate her.

I can't remember how but he left. Just grabbed his keys and drove off. I called my mom and she didn't believe me; I'm the teenager so obviously I'm exaggerating.

The only person I wanted was Josh. He ignored me when I needed him most, and you can probably guess why.

He was with Shauna.

So that night I went tenting with my friends Macy, Cherisa (they're dating), and Hayley. I drank five or six or seven jaeger bombs and got completely shitfaced, something I had never really done before. Cherisa took care of me for a while, until Josh got there.

I remember getting out of the tent to pee, then laying down and throwing up. I remember hearing Cherisa's end of the phone conversation--- "Get your ass over here right now, you're a piece of shit, you broke her heart," et cetera...

So at 1:30 A.M. he walked an hour to our campsite in the woods, maybe because he cared about my well being, or maybe because Cherisa had worn him down enough. I was laying in a screenhouse when he arrived, but I don't remember how I'd gotten there.

"Kiley, Josh is here," Macy told me. And I remember hearing his voice, how much I missed it and how much I just wanted him back. Everyone left the two of us alone in that screenhouse and went to curl up in their sleeping bags, away from the mosquitoes.

Honestly, the only other things I remember is throwing up a few times and when I first began to cry. The next day everyone informed me that I puked for two hours and cried for an hour. Awesome. Not. Also, when I began to sober up. I went pee behind a tree, threw up one last time, and then felt fine. I filled up my water bottle in the river and sat to talk with Josh as the sun was rising. It almost felt like everything was normal. Too bad it was the complete opposite.

That was the last time I really talked to Josh, or even saw him. That was quite a while ago, but it feels like just earlier today.