I was laying in Gerard’s hospital bed while he was with the doctor. You would have never known Gerard was in a coma he looks healthy enough to look better, but he was not healthy, as the doctor wanted him to be. I kept thinking about what if the doctor did send him away, what would I do.
If Gerard left me I do not think I could go on with getting better, his the reason why I am giving up lying well the most part. Deep down I always kind of wanted to change but never did anything to help me get better, I thought I was going to stay in the asylum forever so why stop lying.
I knew it would help Gerard out if he was to going to get send away, he needed to get better. I cannot lie and say it would not bother me because it would his the only person who knows when I am lying; I needed him so I will not lie. I also cannot be selfish I cannot just think about myself that is not who I am I have to remember this would help out Gerard so much.
There would not be a moment were I would not worry about him if he was sent away, I would keep fearing if he were to get sent back to the hospital if something bad would have happen, I would never know. Fear of wondering would he ever come back would he be the same person I fell in love with, he would move on meet someone else who is not a liar.
All those thoughts were going through my mind I had to stop thinking like that I did not even know if he was leaving, I could not fear yet. I could not help but wonder if all those thoughts came true I would be broken if he did meet someone else, that person would probably be better for him.
I was driving myself crazy with all of those thoughts I had to think positive I could not let fear of those thoughts take over. This was not about me it was about him getting better, I also have not forgotten about me getting better as well. My doctor kept checking up on me making sure I had not lied or anything like that. I do not know how he knows if I was telling the truth I knew I was, I guess the doctor was starting to believe me a little.
When I go back to the asylum I had to talk to Stephanie to let her know what’s all be going on and how I am doing, it has been four weeks since I lied. Lying has not cross my mind fear has been on my mind mostly fearing that Gerard would not wake up. Going back to the asylum would be hard I would not longer fear lying would soon come back on my mind.
As I was laying on the hospital bed, I heard the door open I saw Gerard walking in, the look on his face was not good. I knew right then he was not coming back with me.
“What did the doctor say, “I ask in fear.
Gerard look at me with tears in his eyes I knew this would not going to be good.
Sooo sorry for the long wait. I've been gone for a week but now I'm back. There's only five more chapters left. Thanks for the reviews