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The Jintake Ishimara Chronicles-Chapter 2-The Expliantion Part 1
1 reviewKakashi gives Jintake some insight on his past-Part 1
-1TrainWreck
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The Jintake Ishimara Chronicles-Chapter 2-The Expliantion Part 1
(#) Ishimara-Shi 2010-08-30
not bad. you added imagery so we could see what you were talking about. u had some missing letters but other wise no other grammar mistakes to be seen. what you could add in the story is how the parents look and how your main character looks as well. be sure to add how the village is attacked but keep us in suspense till then that way we will want to read more. but very good and to anyone who reads this review this is a story u dont want to miss.
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