Categories > Original > Humor > The Book of Hondo
Pippin 4
0 Reviewsan uninvited guest
And as the Gods of Hondo were eating pizza with their friends and watching Pippin TV, Lucifer didst appear in a puff of fire and smoke and said unto them: ‘Thou art a bunch of assholes!’
‘Who invited thee?’ was all either of the Gods of Hondo couldst come up with to reply.
‘Who invited thee, indeed! For I couldst ask the same of thee. Thou didst gang up on Jehovah!’
‘Verily I say,’ quoth Derrick, ‘that old fart is tougher than he looks!’
‘He didst put up one hell of a fight!’ Matt added.
‘I call a rematch!’ spake Lucifer.
‘Even if thou hadst been there,’ boasted Derrick, ‘then thou wouldst both be trapped in yonder closet!’
‘Bring it on, bitch!’
‘Nice try,’ spake Derrick, ‘but we shall not fall for thy cheap tricks!’
‘Go to Hell!’ spake a crotchety old voice from the closet.
‘Go to Hell?’ echoed Matt. ‘That is thine answer to everything!’
And Lucifer didst try to remove the LA-Z Boy from in front of the door.
But Matt didst fold his arms, wink and nod his head.
‘Where am I?…’ Lucifer didst look around, his new whereabouts finally dawning on him. ‘Ah, shit! Not New Jersey! Damn ye! Just what the Universe needeth: more Gods!’
‘Who invited thee?’ was all either of the Gods of Hondo couldst come up with to reply.
‘Who invited thee, indeed! For I couldst ask the same of thee. Thou didst gang up on Jehovah!’
‘Verily I say,’ quoth Derrick, ‘that old fart is tougher than he looks!’
‘He didst put up one hell of a fight!’ Matt added.
‘I call a rematch!’ spake Lucifer.
‘Even if thou hadst been there,’ boasted Derrick, ‘then thou wouldst both be trapped in yonder closet!’
‘Bring it on, bitch!’
‘Nice try,’ spake Derrick, ‘but we shall not fall for thy cheap tricks!’
‘Go to Hell!’ spake a crotchety old voice from the closet.
‘Go to Hell?’ echoed Matt. ‘That is thine answer to everything!’
And Lucifer didst try to remove the LA-Z Boy from in front of the door.
But Matt didst fold his arms, wink and nod his head.
‘Where am I?…’ Lucifer didst look around, his new whereabouts finally dawning on him. ‘Ah, shit! Not New Jersey! Damn ye! Just what the Universe needeth: more Gods!’
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