"Frank`s place. Watched a movie." I replied.
"Ooohh, Frank was the guy you had your arm round, right!"
"He was cold! Don't talk like that to me Mikes." I raised a hand in empty threat, but Mikey didn't know wheather I'd use it or not. He must`ve seen us in the grounds at chess club or wahtever.
"Dinners on the table." Mikey smirked and left. Mac and cheese, Mikey must`ve fixed it up for me.
I pushed it around the plate thinking about how Frank held my hand. How he didn`t shrug my arm off him. How tightly he held me when he was scared, and he reached out when i crouched above him. I had risked it all by doing that stupid stunt, getting ovet him on the bed. It was all me: he didn't like me that way, surely. Things go too fast. I think too much about everything.
Mikey.... He needs a punishing for what he said too. He can't just talk like that to me. Not when it's all so delicate at the moment.
Also... Frank topless. And I almost choked. What the hell is going on in my mind? If liking someone is a chemical reaction, this is one fucked up one!
Only one thing would prove how we felt towards each other, and in what way... Thoughts crowded my head. Worse than normal too!
Then, I noticed a flyer for the carnival. It looked pretty good last year, I didn`t go but... I could either end out relationship or start it with this idea I had. I had to know where this was going with us, I know it was soon but really, I had a feeling
The next morning at the lockers....
"Woah, Frank, you ARE tired! You finish the movie without me?" I said.
"No, I was thinking."
"What?" I asked curiously.
"Ah, just so much. I`m a bit confused and... stuff." Confused... I smiled, my head slightly titled. That was... a positive sign perhaps?
Geography was one of the classes we were split up in. It`s boring. I don`t give a shit about Grid References or hills. I often wonder why I took such a subject.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Frank looking at me, head in hands, with a funny look in his eyes. I stared back. What was he thinking? What was I?! I looked at the clock, then my jotter and copied my neighbours work diligently.
"Gerard Way!" Frank looked away quickly. "It`s one thing to distract Frank for 2 minutes, but another to copy work!" Mrs Copper scowled at me, "One more warning, and a detention!" I always get into trouble, even though the teachers know what I can be like.
I was so relieved when it was time for lunch. Me and Frank sat at the table and talked about the movie last night. Lunchtime shouldn`t have finished, I could talk to Frank for days if he wanted. That's right, it should be about what he wants, let him go for me....
The last lesson of the day was English Lit. We had to work in pairs to make up poems (We, as in Frank and I). Ours was pretty good I thought. I always get good grades in English though.
But what I had planned to happen after 5th Period made me nervous!
It was a master plan for me to selfishly test our early relationship, to check if either of us had odd feelings at that stage.
Sure enough the school emptied out. "Wait 'till most are gone." I said, tugging lightly on Frank`s wrists. He cringed. We didn`t have too wait long. I liked how he usually obeys me like Mikey does. As if he wants orders from me.
Frank leaned against a wall, puzzled. Once I was sure we were alone, I put one hand beside Frank`s head on the wall, leaning in slightly. I wanted to lean closer but it was as if Frank had a forcefield around him.
`Stupid idea` I decided at the last minute, so I drew back.
"It`s rainy again." I stated.
"Yeah" Frankie giggled, "It is."
"Do you wanna lift home?" I continued.
"Okay." He didn`t ask why I held him back, he must`ve seen something was up with me.
Lucky for us, Mom had waited for us.
"Hurry up Gerard!...Oh, Who`s this?" Mom asked when she saw Frank.
"He`s Frank. We`re getting him home." I said, getting in the back behind Mikey`s seat.
"Hi. I`m Donna. So you`re the Frank Mikey`s told me all about?" Mom gushed. I kicked Mikey`s seat. I had forgotten to punish him last night. "Um, I guess so." Frank replied politely. I had an idea now!
"So, since tommorrow`s Saturday, d`you wanna go to the carnival? With me?" I asked, hoping for a `yes`.
"A carnival!" Frank`s eyes lit-up, "What time!?" ding ding! Right answer!
"eh, 7pm we`ll pick you up, bring cash? I mean, only because it'll be nice since you're new and all."
"Sounds cool." Frank looked really excited. He`s told me he never used to be able to do stuff like that as a kid.
Frank and I directed mom to his house and we waved each other goodbye. The car was quiet on the way back home.
"Frank looks like a real nice guy." Mom said later on.
"He is. A great friend." I meant it. Anytime we could at school, we talked. I felt so close to him already. We spend many hours together constantly.
In the afternoon, I got up and took a long shower and washed my hair, singing as usual. I dried my hair to its proper [messy] style afterwards. Then, I put on my favourite outfit: button up shirt, slightly faded thin jeans, converses, jacket and (thy holy) leather fingerless gloves. All, of course, black. I looked weird walking around the house in a jacket, but hey. I`m the person who has a bat in a glass cube for a paperweight from an estranged uncle.
I wasted the day, watching TV and reading my old graphic novels, until finally it was time to go pick up Frankie. I applied a little eyeliner for luck, then snatched 2 $10 bills. I was even in the car before Mom!
Frankie had waited on the kerb for us. He was wearing an awesome skeleton hoodie and gloves, and with black skinny jeans. I was happy to see him out-of-school once more.
"Nice outfit!" I commented. He shot his cheesy grin at me.
We got there in ten minutes.
"Now stay safe boys." Mom reminded.
"We will. Bye Mom." I said innocently.
As we made our way up to the ticket entrance, I saw a sweet deal, it was "Unlimited rides for 2, $10" I put $10 on the counter. The lady gave us the bracelet tickets, and a creeped out stare. The offer was probably intended for couples. Something we'd either end up as, or not. I knew it! All or nothing.
I couldn`t get my bracelet on so Frank helped. I stared at his hard-working expression, supressing a giggle at his poked out tongue. I muttered a thanks and we made our way in.
We went on the main roller coaster first. It looked fun, but to Frank, it looked like something insane! I don' think he'd been to a carnival before really. It was pretty twisty. For a carnival it was high quality too!
He squished up next to me and pulled down the bar, looking excited, but scared. I wondered myself if the bar was enough. As with many things, it started with a slow uphill climb. We both were silent in suspence...... Or was it an awkward one? We were so close, there was no way we couldn't have been. Even our shoes were touching, and on the bar I couldn't help noticing Frank's thumb lying on my knuckles. I'm an incredibly paranoid person in normal situation aren't I?
I closed my eyes and waited for the drop. We went straight down, into a loop. Frank`s first loop, awh!
"WAAAAAH!! G-err-a-rrd! Looook!" I looked at him, his hair was so funny upside down. So was mine, he laughed.
"This iiis greatt! Th-than-k youuu!"
We were coming to another loop, but it stopped in the middle for a brief moment.
"AHHH SHIT!" Frank grabbed my arm and hid his face in it, and I tucked my head up to his. He took my other hand and let out a tiny sob. We were gonna drop ...Then it started again.. We cleared the loop unscathed.
Frank looked up. "H-uh?" he let go quickly. "Heheh, sorry." He got off me and smoothed his hair down.
When we exited, we were at the entrance of a ghost train. I had to push Frank on: He must relive his childhood!
"Nooo. It`s scary!" Frank joked.
It was so stupid it was funny to us! He stayed close and pretended he was really scared.
The next thing I spotted outside, was the ferris wheel, it was massive, it`s lights were on as the sun was setting. The sky was an amber-y orange. Stars were beggining to show as tiny bright pinpricks.
I took a deep breath. Preparing myself for an embarassing, negative answer.
"Can we go on the ferris wheel?" I said, trying to make it sound casual. But really, it was make or break for us. Though half of 'us' didn't know it.
"hmm..." Frankie saw the sunset, "Aw yeah!"
There were little people on it, so we got on in no time.
"It`ll be a great view." Frank said, dreamily. Just what I thought. The bench gently rocked us back and forth.
The bench cranked to a stop at the very top of the wheel. We had such perfect timing. The slight, fresh breeze circled around our dangling legs, lazily wrapping itself around us.
We were high and had the best view imaginable. Frank was breathless. He was different too. He was in anticipation too. But I was too nervous. I was thinking of how to do it, and what to do if he pushed me away. I worried too much. I always do. Everything could go wrong, just for me. I'd be the one hit by a car, or lightning. I now know he trusts me, likes me a lot, but does he like me in 'this' way..... Judging by our natural closeness and happiness around each other.......
We were quiet as we looked at the sunset we had just missed, we were so high too.
I stroked Frankie`s silky hair and let let my hand rest on the bottom of his neck. No reaction from him at all, which was odd. He did tense up a little, but not enough to make me recoil.
"Are you cold?" I asked. He knew what I meant, so he put an arm around me. I knew that neither of us were really thinking things through. We didn`t need to.
"You know what I think? We can't be friends." I said.
He looked round, his eyes half closed, gazing into mine. Frank moved closer to me. He put his other arm around the front of my waist to make us incredibly close. I lay a hand on his chest. "I think I might agree." he looked surprised as well.It was in him a ll along?
We were drawing each others breaths, each heartbeat bouncing of the others` next one.
"Frank, are you sure...." I tried to speak, but he gently shushed me, and closed the gap between our lips. Just for a second, but the most blissfull second of my life up to that point!
We were tiptoeing around each other though, our arms removed themselves from each other in that unsure, unstabel moment as if the whole wheel would collapse. This really changed it all, we really weren't made to be friends at all.
We kissed once more for a tiny bit longer. I heard Frank groan an "mmmm" during the second one. In an embarassed way I lay my head on Frank`s shoulder and smiled up at him. HOLY SHIT! He's kissed me, and I kissed back. It was only a small kiss, but hey, it was a kiss nonetheless!!
Frank: I really wanted him now. But if I went for Gerard right away, I might put him off. I should let him move first maybe?
But I just wanted to touch him! His skin was like a magnet to me.
I hoped that he wanted this.... thing we had to last, and get better.
I kissed Gerard`s forehead and rubbed his back slowly. I saw him smiling.
Gerard: I had an odd feeling in the back of my mind: would this actually come to be something, the thing I wanted? After all, the only reason I really wanted this love was to patch up the one that had been brutally dessacted before me. The only way to find out is to just ride with it, so I did.
We got some candy floss and I got a corn dog. Frank looked hilarious, the pink cloud was bigger than his head!
"Can I help with that?"
Frank nodded and I bit some sweet sugar off. Frank was licking the stuff, and his method proved very successfull and tasty so I gave it a shot.
"Want any of the corny stuff?" I offered, remembering he's meant to be a vegetarian.
"After you." I nibbled at the end, and it was fucking delicious! I handed it to Frank, and he took a huge chunk out of it quite happily.
"No fair, I get more candy!" I complained childishly, making him laugh. My heart leapt, almost out my throat! Frank leaned in to lick it off too, now we were closer, I could see his tongue, curnling out to retrieve the sweet stuff. It was tempting, so shlyly, I went back to the dog...
Which, admittedly, gave me worse ideas, so I chucked it in the bin.
Frank left the small remainder of candy and had it in his hand.
"Open wide." he asked me, in a seemingly normal way. When he did, he shoved it in my mouth! I swallowed. "Em, thanks."
We were only walking for a few minutes when Frank wanted more sugar, so I got him a big lollipop. Then we stopped at a quite and alone little tree.
"What now?" I questioned, leaning back on it. Frank had a distracted feel about him and was fidgeting. He looked at our feet. Frank was sucking his lollipop as he examined my shirt, feeling the material between his fingers.
"Dodgeums?" He suggested, his hips dangerously close to mine.
He blushed and we went over to the lit up Dodgeums, I convinced him to let my have my hand around his waist. I was actually, kinda calm! Like it just came naturally to me...
"They're both desparate for something like this. Love that can be felt like rain and come as easily. They both need it. That's why it's so easy for them to fall in love."
We fit like a puzzle, huh?