Frank - "Why should I think this out anymore? I have this guy, I need a guy. There's obviously nobody else for me, or him. Just kinda like we had been waiting to throw ourselves into something like this for a while."
Gerard: Apart from a boy and girl adult couple, we were the only ones there. Me and Frank split up to crash into them. The guy cursed everytime we hit, and the girl laughed. When time was up, the two left, leaving Frank and i to battle it out in a face-off. We careered off each other, and bounced into the walls. There was no way either of us could be the winner though.
Frankie had his lollipop in his mouth the whole time though, and almost choked a few times!
I suddenly had a fun idea. There was a really, really tall helter-skelter opposite, it was closed too. No-one was around... I explained what I was thinking and took a mat, ducking under the plastic chain. It was pitch black on the way up. Frank held onto my arm, but there was light at the top.
I sat on the back of the mat, on the opening of the chute, my legs open for Frank to sit between. I was being naughty, we both knew it.
He sat down and held onto my ankles as we slid down the tunnel, and laughed just like little kids. Again, I felt this odd buzz with him being so close. The tunnel ran through the towers structure, so it was dark too and we had to lie flat. When we stopped at the bottom we abandoned the scene.
"Yay, that was so cool! You were so warm!" Frank giggled, "I wanna stay there now...!"
He covered his mouth realising what he had just said meant. I took his hand, to try stop him being embarassed about it. It was odd, but it was nice to have the chance to hold his hand.
It was only 9:30, I wanted the night to be forever.I hadn`t had a proper meal since 2pm so I grabbed another corndog. He watched me eat mine, maybe thinking the same crazy thoughts as I had. He convinced me to lie on the grass with him. I felt high. I had him, the only person in my life apart from Mikey, since Jimmy and Ray left me. I had only Mikey, Mikey, Mikey for months. He was so... easy Frank. Not in a whorish way but we just fit so easily.
Jimmy convinced me I was gay. He's amazing and beautiful. Now he's gone forever... I don't think about him anymore though, it makes me angry at the whole, ugly world. I'd happily kill those fuckers that got him. But is there a point? No. My past is tucked away in my mind now. That was a different life to me.
He moved away but he and his family were shot in a mugging of some sort. I've been more insane ever since, I guess.
You know the saying 'some people have all the luck'? I do. The bad sort. I have the worst luck in the world. Better me to have all the bad luck, then spread it equally though.
The stars and carnival lights were beautiful, and Frank`s eyes reflected them, ever prettier, at me. Something told me that he was in a similar situation, giving himself so happily to me.
"I like it when you hold me." he said out of the blue. Then he got up for some reason, and stood at my feet.
Frank: "Close your eyes. Bear with me." I said softly. Time to satisfy my feelings. Gerard closed his eyes and muched corndog, I put that beside us. I still went for him. Quietly, I positioned myself so that my knees and hands were on either side of Gerard. "Keep them shut." I reminded. He still had his mouth full but I went in, and kissed him with all my passion I had built up inside. As much passion as I had felt pain.
I unbuttoned a little of his shirt. exposing a little more skin.
I puckered up and lightly pushed my lips onto Gerar'd open ones. Gerard`s hands found thier way to my back. He held me onto him, but I was going nowhere.
I could hear him, muttering things through the long kisses, things that made me want more. He moaned a little too. His hips were rubbing on mine. I wanted so much more. It's like we'd done this sort of things many times before.
I held his head gently and caressed the side of his cheek with a thumb. It progressed to tongues. Two guys were now making out in the middle of the carnival. It wouldn`t have been so weird if we were in the portaloos, but we were in the middle of all the action, halfway on the path! If we were asked to move, I swear I'd bite out at them. Or just carry on...
I moved a little up Gerard`s body, to kiss more full-on so his hands ventured into ass teritory. But I slid them off uncomfortably, revealing my shy embarassment.
All the passers by would be freaked out by the sight and sound of us!
As we kissed Gerard moved up my hoodie, so I stipped it off, then he put his hands under my Tee to rub the sides of my body. I tried to undo more of his shirt but he didn`t let me, remembering where we were I suppose. He was blushing so much. Ooops, had I done most the kissing? But I could tell I was blushing too.
He held me out at arms length, eyes now open. We were both grinning. We'd probably gone a bit too far, too early for both of us. But we both confirmed that we weren't gonna be firneds, no way in hell now.
I wanted to kiss him more, but instead I lay beside him again: all awesome shit comes to an end.
I tied my hoodie around me, who would speak first I wondered? It was Gerard, but not to me.
His cell phone rang and he picked it up. As I lay beside Gerard, I cuddled up to him, yearning his attention. Like a cat or dog or something! I'd be his "pet" allright.
Gerard: "hmm? Hellooo?"
"Hi, um it`s me, Mikey. I was gonna say something else but, you and Frank... on the grass?" Now, normally i enjoy talking to Mike. This was an obvious execption.
"Whaat? No! Where- Where are you then?!" Mikey was really, REALLY gonna get into trouble.
"Food stalls, the central strip. Mom sent me to come check. Where are you then?" Oh god. He was very close. We were near ALL the food stalls.
"We`re just on... The way up the helter skelter." I bluffed. I signalled Frank to run off, waving my arm crazily.
"That`s not far! I`ll join. Bye Gee." I wasn`t sure why, but Mikey just couldn`t know Frank and I were kind of together. I sprinted off after Frank to the top of the helter skelter.
Frank: Why did we have to move exactly?
"What happened Gerard?" I asked, confused.
"Mikey saw us. I said it wasn`t us but..."
"Go!" Gerard interrupted. "We don`t need matts." He got in front of me and just as he pushed himself down the chute I grabbed him round the neck. I was facing the floor now.
"What are you...?" I almost let go but Gerard held my legs. "What part of you is this?!...Ohhh. sorry."
"Why`s your head there?" I asked nervously.
"You`re holding me! You tell me!"
"I can`t help it! Just imagine it`s something nice. Like a lollipop." I joked., trying to lighten up the situation. "LICK IT!" maybe I went a little overboard there. I have issues conderning my self control when it comes to saying cruse or childish things.
Gerard opened his mouth and was about to say something, when we slid out at the end of the slide. I stayed perfectly still, apart from gazing up at Mikey and a maintennence worker. I was lying 1/2 on top of Gerard, holding his hair and facing the floor. While he had his head in my crotch with his mouth open. So it really looked like he was trying to give me a kind of blow job through my clothes.(Somehow?) I was squirming at the thought.
"Wow. That tunnel echoes." Mikey said simply, very wide-eyed.
SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT. I was so embarassed I was red all over. We got up quick.
The carnival worker was furious.
"Didn`t you see it`s closed?"
"Well, a um, guy said it was open when we came." I said slowly.
"A guy with blonde hair and... A white tank top."
The worker stalked off muttering to himself, the description probably fitting quite a few people. Gerard looked furious, and grabbed Mikey by the arm. He hissed a few words into his little brothers' ear. And Mikey wiped the smirk from his face.
"I think I know but what happened?" Mikey asked cautiously
"You don`t know Mikey. Frank grabbed me on my way down and we got all mixed up." Gerard explained appologetically.
"Right. And with hearing `lick it`..." Mikey analysed.
"That was a joke!" I said quickly, stepping between the two, mainly to stop Gerard choking Mikey to death.
Mikey said nothing in reply but said it all with a skeptical look at us. Gerard was scarlet and so was I. That was really embarassing. Probably worse for Gerard though.
I heard Mikey emmit a strange little squeel and saw Gerard stamping on his foot under the table though his expression didn't show much anger.
"So I was gonna suggest the roller coaster." Mikey said at last. We agreed. Once we were there Mikey insisted on sitting behind us. As soon as we sat down I burst out laughing.
"That was really fun!" But Gerard didn`t laugh.
"The making out or being found out." He said shakily, staring onward.
"Do....You...Regret what we did?" I asked, afraid of the answer.
"It`s just that Mikey saw."
"So? He`s a great brother. Don`t be worried." I gave him a hug and he smiled again.
"So can I sit on your lap then?" I asked like a 4 year old.
"What?! Slow down kid!" he giggled faintly at my odd question and kindly refused the offer.
Gerard: He was right. Mikey is an awesome brother and friend but Mikey needs to learn some more lessons... Had I not taught him enough already?!
I deeply inhaled Frank`s smell, my nose brushing up and down his neck and i began whispering to him.
"Today HAS been fun. I wouldn`t mind..." I drew in even closer, "Seeing you more." I softly kissed his neck. On hearing a cough behind me I stopped because I was still a bit shy, not sure if I was being too reckless just yet.
"Thank you Frankie." I wrapped my arms around him for the rest of the ride.
When we got off the ride and joined Mikey he was laughing, not in a mean way,
"Was it comfy in my bro`s amrs?" He asked Frank.
"Anyone thirsty?" I interveined.
The 3 of us sat on plastic chairs with our cans of soda. Mom phoned me while we were there.
"Gerard, it`s time to come back. I`m in the parking lot. Got Mikey?"
"Yes. We`re coming now." I disconnected and looked Mikey in the eyes, "We`re going now. DON`T mention the helter skelter incident!" I said sternly.
Frank flipped his hood up and was tempted to put my arm round him.
On the way back mom asked the usual "Was it good?" "Did you enjoy yourselves?" questions. We arrived at my house first.
"Frank, I`ll drop you off second." Mom explained.
"Can I stay?" I pleaded.
Mom shrugged and Mikey obediently went home.
There was an awkward silence while we drove to Frank's house. The car stopped at Frank`s little driveway.
"Mom, can I walk Frank in?"
"Not too long!" she replied. I followed Frank to the small porch out front. H held both my hands and I squeezed them back.
"Thanks. Sleep well." he kissed me on the cheek and closed the door on me. It was pretty warm outside.
"See you then." I shouted through. Later I'd realise he took that sentence the wrong way. I meant it innocetly of course. How was I to know Frank would drink himself brainless though?
Before Mom had the chance to say anything, I told her that he had fun. My mind turned to Mikey. Naughty, bad Mikey.
"Mikey." I went into his room, where he was writing something.
"Oh, Gee!" His voice sounded shaky.
"You have been awful stupid lately, haven't you?" I felt angry again, forgetting my good day and remembering all the bad ones. The one thing that always came up in these situations was when I got that call about Jimmy. I needed Mikey to be good to me, he knows that!
I sat on his bed, close to his table. I was getting ready to strike in some way.
"Well, you know I don't mean to be." His eyes were pleading me but it was too late for him. All those times he's been bad to me.
"Really? Telling mom about Frank, being rude about me." I got up and sat on the table in front of him. I leaned down and pushed the lever to made Mikey's chair go up, so he'd be equal height to me on the desk. I drew in close to his face and traced lines on his cheeks. This was the Mikey I didn't like. The one that betrayed me and all.
"Every." I dug my short nails in and he flinched.
"Little." I dug in my other nails and got so close as if I were to kiss him.
"Thing." I grabbed his hair and slapeed his face twice, sending him off his chair, to the floor. Ignoring his appology I left the room in a black mood.
I left the my window open subconciously when I decided to go to sleep, after calming down. At least I hadn't hurt Mikey as badly and he hadn't been too mean to me to deserve it (in my mind). Just a minor offence. Of course, I was sleeping beside Mikey tonight, after hurting him. He slept in my bed after each time I hurt him. It made me fell less guilty and let me know he loved me. This wasn't a bad attack on him, but I had to be sure.
Frank: Friday night at home... I got out a few beers. Sort of to celabrate the fact that nobody would half-kill me now and that I'd gotten off with Gerard. Drinking away all those bad years I'd had. I had already gone through 5th can before I was out my door. I was drinking for a dangerous mix of washing away the past few months and welcoming the new one but also because I was utterly dumbstruck by all of this.
Gerard wanted. I wanted him, simple. So tonight I'd go over and say a little "Hello." or something along a drunk's way of thinking.
I looked at his house. It was a bit bigger than mine. He had left a window open and I climbed in, preparing my excuse if I was caught by any of his family. "Gerard gave me his wallet and I'm giving it back." At the time I thought it was a good excuse. God, I WAS drunk. I had drank a whole case on the way to his house. It didn't even feel like I was in the real world anymore, it felt like I was having a weird dream where I could manage anything.
Carefully and as silently as I could manage, I went up the stairs. Which room was his? I went with the one with 'Gerard' scratched on the door and pushed it open, nearly falling flat on my face. He was in there. I prayed.
I saw his hand dangling over the side of his bed and went over. He'd probably jump out at me any moment now.... But when he didn't I began to worry. Something banged downstairs and I heard a lock click into place. Someone had heard me and locked the window maybe?
"Gerard." I whispered softly. I would leave if he didn't reply. Or I would leave his room and try get out. He pulled on my arm, into a hug under his duvet. He was still asleep. Gerard looked so peaceful! I looked at him for a while then began trying to get out. But if I struggled too hard, he'd wake up. And wonder why I was in his bed.
"Gerard, let go!" I hissed. I didn't want to risk waking him up, I would just wait until he let me go. So I waited. Waited in my dreams even. But he held on tight, and I must've drifted off...
"Gerard!" Mikey called. He had sneaked out of Gerard's bed as soon as Gerard had fallen asleep. Something Mikey rarely dared do. "Get up! Mom's out and I made us breakfast!" He went up the stairs and to the door. "Gerard!" He said pushing the door open.
"What the hell?" He whispered to himself as he looked at the bulging duvet. With a quick, but cautious motion he swiped it off. "WHA..! FRANK!?!" he exclaimed.
Gerard: Stupid Mikey had woken me up.... Frank was in my bed! I jumped out of bed and watched Frank wake up. He held his head in some kinda pain. When he noticed me and Mikey he blushed right away, and began to tear up.
"SHIT! Gerard, I'm sorry!" He started, stuttering a little.
"What were you doing in my bed?! How'd you get IN?!" I asked, more than simply annoyed. Frank stood up looking wounded, devastated even.
"Last night I think you invited me over so I....I can't remember. I think I got in through an open window and you must've pulled me in. I wouldn't just come over if you didn't want me to!"
I don't remember inviting him over! I remembered how sudden things were between us that night at the carnival. Maybe too sudden for him. Would it be best if we got to know each other a bit better first? Or did it matter how fast we went as long as we trusted each other. Strangely I slightly trusted Frank now, but I put that to the side. He had been in my bed, snuck in while I slept. Did he not remember because he had a drink?? Or 10?
Frank began crying, he really didn't mean to come sleep with me. Maybe he wished he never kissed me. I felt incredibly guilty. Things had been too fast as I had suspected. I moved over to him to give him a hug, and for him to smile again, but he backed away.
I sighed. "Frank I believe you but..." I shook my head in disbelief. "Come on, let's get you something to eat." He followed me downstairs, sniffing, his face a bit puffy and red from crying.