I felt better today, so I went back to school. Gerard was walking round by himself. Jemma was going to offer him a seat at our table, but Frank just told her not to. So she didn't.
And I never wrote this down, but now I think it's necassary. I told Mom that I saw Gerard robbing the corner store. I had to! I was worried!
I went to Jemma's after school today. It made a change, because just lately she's only been hanging out at mine. At her house, I never feel depressed. With Jemma and Emily fighting over something stupid, their Mom always making jokes and their Dad always making a mess and teasing their Mom, there was never a dull moment!
At first we just sat in her room, moaning about things we hate...
Mikey - Know what I hate?
Jemma - What?
Mikey - The Jonas Brothers. What's the point?
Jemma - They've got like the afro things, haven't they?
Mikey - I dunno, all I know is that I hate them.
Jemma - I hate... Britney Spears.
Mikey - Yeah, I hate her too.
That was just a tiny snippet of our really long conversation. And then Emily came home and started yelling at Jemma for borrowing her hair dryer and they started yelling at the tops of their voices. Then Jemma threw a hairbrush at Emily, so Em ran away.
"Jampot!" I yelled "I'm thirsty!"
"Then go get a drink, you lazy sod!" She replied, laughing as she fell onto her bed.
And then I-
I don't wanna write it.
The rest of our group has forgiven Gerard. But after what happened yesterday at Jemma's house I am in a very crappy mood and I am refusing to forgive him so easily.
He didn't say anything to me on the way home.
He didn't say anything to me while we were watching TV.
I think he didn't mean for it to come out at the time it did... But, things happen for a reason.
He managed to grab a plate before it hit the floor while I was drying up. It was nice of him, but I was still mad. So I took it back and said...
Mikey - Haven't you done enough!?
Gerard - Mikey, I...
Mikey - I know, I know, you're gonna say you're sorry like you did with Frank, Ray and Bob.
Gerard - Well, they all forgave me.
Mikey - Well, I'm obviously more angry than they are.
Gerard - MIKEY! Please forgive me!
Mikey - You're only sorry because you're alone now! Why were you so stupid!? How couldn't you see they were all making a joke out of you!? Did you think you were cool Gerard!? -starts to hit Gerard- Did you think it made you clever!? Did you have fun with your pathetic group!?
(Now would be a good time to point out that I already said I was in a crap mood after what happened with Jemma. If you were in a crap mood, would you feel like forgiving someone!?)
Gerard - NO! -stops me hitting him- They were jerks Mikey! But just for a little while, I wanted to belong...
Mikey - You did belong. But not anymore.-runs away-
The last thing I said was the part I felt most about. Because with Jemma, I don't belong anymore.
Life is crap at the moment.
1) The thing I did at Jemma's house. Whenever I try to talk to Jemma now, we both remember and it's too awkward. It won't go away.
2) I want to forgive Gerard, but I'd feel so foolish after yesterday.
3) I still have a crush on Alicia. THERE! I WROTE IT!
He changed. He's said sorry to everyone. He tried saying sorry to me, but I acted like a jerk. I'm so mean. Maybe I don't deserve to be alive anymore...
I'm going to have a shower... And never come out.
So I said I was never coming back...
I had taken that knife I had stolen from Gerard's room and took it into the shower with me.
Then just as I was about to do it, I heard "MIKEY!" Then the shower curtain was pulled back to reveal Gerard.
Gerard snatched the knife off me and apologised properly. So I got out the shower and put a towel round me, 'cos I felt a little awkward to be standing around naked...
Mikey - I forgive you bro. Thanks for saving me.
Gerard - -hug- Promise never to do anything that stupid ever again!?
Mikey - I promise.
And then today I tried talking to Alicia today. She burped in my face and told me to go home. Oh well.
Jemma laughed :(