Sorry, this would've been up sooner, but I added the wrong chapter to the wrong story :D
Why do I even fucking bother!?
This morning I had begged him to back down, I pleaded, I went down on my hands and knees! He told me it was all a good part of his image, and he had done it once so surely he could do it again.
I reminded him that the punch in the face had been a lucky blow, but he ignored me and left the house.
So do you know what I did? I asked Frank, Ray and Bob to help him. I hoped maybe if he saw what good friends we were, he'd want to come back to us.
I decided not to get involved in the fight. Partly because I knew if I got hurt, Gerard would be ashamed because he's my older brother, and he's s'posed to take care of me. Secondly, because I was just afraid of getting hurt.
So my friends kicked the shit out of Corey Taylor. Gerard quickly caught on and started punching Corey in the face and I thought for a second, just for one second, everything would be okay...
But his new friends took him away, and left us standing there like piles of dirt.
Jemma looked disgusted aswell "How can he do that!? They practically risked their safety for him! He's such a dirtbag!"
So I've been ignoring him. We were watching TV a second ago and he asked me if I was okay. I managed to ignore him, so he got up and went to his room. And now, I'm ashamed to admit this, but I'm crying.
It's okay, I'm in my room. I hate crying anywhere apart from my room, because in my room no-one can see me. And if I avoid any mirrors, I can pretend I'm not crying at all. But most of the time, I just try and switch the emotions around and pretend that I'm crying out of happiness. It's awkward if anyone knocks on my bedroom door though, I quickly have to wipe my eyes.
But Gerard's the only one home, and he knows what'll happen if he knocks.
I'm going to ring Jemma. Better stop crying first.
No help from Jemma. She's fuming mad at Gerard and keeps calling him mean names. I hate him at the moment, but I don't want my best friend calling my brother things like that. So I quickly said goodbye and hung up.
Well, atleast I'm sure she doesn't fancy him anymore. Somehow though, that doesn't solve any of my problems.
~ Managed to beat Jemma at running in PE
~ Got a sandwich thrown at me at break
~ Gerard beat up Pete Wentz for me
~ Came home and did homework
Which one do you want to hear most about?
I heard it all, Frank heard it all, Ray heard it all and Bob heard it all. It wouldn't surprise me if the whole hall had heard. Well, it's practically been spread round the whole school already so I guess it doesn't matter who heard.
Alicia was calling us all social rejects. Gerard mentioned me, and Pete said I was a dork. Gerard got mad at Pete, Pete said I wasn't the only loser in the family, Gerard was aswell. So he punched Pete in the face.
Well, to be honest, I don't know if Gerard beat up Pete for me or for himself. I like to think it was for me, though I'm not letting on to that.
He's been excluded. For a week! And Bert, Alicia and Lyn-z all ditched Pete to hang around with Gerard.
So I'm guessing, nothing much is going to change.
I just re-read yesterdays diary entry. It made Gerard sort of sound like a hero. But I take it all back, he's nothing but a big pile of crap.
Mom's really mad and upset and she won't stop crying. From the look on Gerard's face, he doesn't care. Jemma came round and nearly slapped him, but I pulled her away just in time.
While Gerard was in the living room, and Jemma was watching a video in my room I went downstairs to get a drink. Mom was at the table, still crying.
"Are you okay?" I asked her.
"No." She replied "Could you hand me a tissue please?" I gave her a tissue "I thought I raised him better than this Mikey, I really did."
"You did Mom." I told her, putting my arms round her "He ruined it himself!"
"Do me a favour Mikey." She looked up at me "Keep an eye on him at school. I said that to your brother when you first started school, you know. And I think he's done a good job. It's your turn to return the favour."
So I made a drink and left. Gerard came out of the living room.
"I stuck up for you bro." He had said.
So I told him "Yeah. And completely ruined our family along the way. Well done Gee." I was nearly crying, so I ran upstairs to my room. Jemma saw how upset I was, but just made an excuse to leave.
I'm still in here. I haven't left, not even to go to the toilet. I'm busting, but I'm trying to make my point.
I think I might just go to sleep. I've done all my homework.
It's been a week since I last wrote. At first it looked like Gerard had given up on me, but he spoke to me today. And I finally decided to talk back to him.
"Why aren't you at that party with your dickhead friends?" I had asked.
"I wanna hang out with you." He had replied, then smiled. I wanted to slap him.
I would've given in, I know I would've. But luckily I had the perfect excuse "Well, Frank's coming over and he doesn't like you anymore."
His face crumpled "Mikey! We're falling apart! I may have new friends, but I still love you bro!"
So I yelled at him and got him to admit he was turning into a dickhead like his friends.
"I've been trying to be cool my entire life..." Was his excuse for his stupid behaviour.
So I asked "Is it worth it?" Then before leaving, I added "Why do you think everyone's ignoring you?"
Frank came over, but he spent most of the time moaning about how much a dick Gerard had become. I agreed, but I wasn't in any mood to talk about.
Luckily when Jemma came over, the topic was different. She had exciting news. Her Mom was pregnant!
I think I'm going to be si-
I was sick. Now I'm in bed with a bucket. I feel terrible.
Gerard lost all his friends. Turned out they were all plotting against him.
I know he deserved it, but I still feel very sorry for him.