Things are changing faster than you think. Can you keep up?
One month later
To say things were back to ordinary would only be an understatement. I had spilled out my guts to everyone after living as a recluse for three years. And to be honest, I really didn't know if it was ordinary. Things seemed well, calm for the most part between me and Bob and I was hoping it would last. I could constantly see his advances toward me, but I couldn't bring myself to accept, which worried me. Was I really that bitter? Broken even? The ability to forgive and forget was just not ingrained in me.
I sighed and shook my head while listening to Asia's giggles come from the room as I could only imagine what she was having Bob do. He had increased his visits with her to pretty much everyday, hence the little hints he has been giving me. I did all I could to avoid it and just focus the spotlight on Asia.
I slowly inched forward to her room while peeking in and freezing at the sight in front of me. Asia was dressed in her dress up 'princess' dress consisting of white and pink lacing with a silver plastic tiara and wand to match while she twirled it around her tiny fingers while Bob was standing there with his hands on hips, a less than amused expression while he wore a white crown on his head with pink fur and pink lipstick that was smudged around the corner of his lips.
I choked my laughter as I entered the room.
"Well what do we have here?" I asked curiously as Asia smiled at me while, showing of a missing tooth that had popped out two nights ago. Sadly she didn't buy the Tooth Fairy act, so pretty much the night ended in me giving her five dollars. I guess I could cross that off my list of the things I've failed at in being a mother.
"We're pwincesses! Isn't Bob pwetty?" she asked as I looked at Bob with a smirk.
"He's very pretty. Pink is definitely his color." I said nodding in approval as he secretly flipped me off as I giggled.
"I got enough of this from Frank when we were on tour." I heard him mutter as I chuckled.
"Well if the two princesses are finished playing, perhaps we can get ready to meet everyone." I replied as Bob seemed to sigh in relief as Asia bounced on her heels while I picked her up. Frank and Jamia decided to have a 'get together' for their anniversary of being together since high school. Personally, I give them all the props in the world for lasting this long. I guess they were really meant to be after all.
Bob excused himself to go wash the lipstick off as I dressed Asia in her favorite black dress and flats. When her hair was finally tamed, she seated herself on the couch while I walked over to Bob who was drying his hands.
"How are you doing Princess Peach?" I asked him with a smirk as he looked at me from the corner of his eyes as he finished drying his hands.
"Shut it." he said slowly as I smiled.
"How did she even sucker you in the first place?" I asked curiously as he just shrugged at me.
"What can I say, she's got that cute and innocent act down pat. Must get it from someone I know." he replied as he raised an eyebrow at me before walking back to Asia as I looked at him with a snarl at the fact that I found myself blushing. This teeter-totter situation with him couldn't possibly be healthy...
"Ladies and gentleman, I would just like to say that I am truly grateful to be in love with the most amazing woman in the world." Frank beamed as Jamia blushed while me and Alicia awed together as we sat in the middle of the living room to celebrate the fact that all my friends' relationships were much better than mine.
"And well that only made me realize me something." he added as he walked to Jamia as she looked at him curiously as he grinned like a Cheshire cat.
"Jamia, ever since you bumped into me that morning in Mr. Roth's class, I knew you were the one. You get me like no one else and no one has put up with me this long as you have." he told her as she giggled.
"And that means so much to me because it shows just how much we belong together." he added as he reached into his pocket and got down on one knee as she gasped. I could see the tears brimming her sparkling green eyes as he looked at up her.
"I love you more than words could ever say. Jamia, will you marry me?" he asked softly as Jamia trembled before she began crying and nodding her head as she jumped into Frank's arms, practically knocking him down.
"Yes. Yes." she whispered over and over as Frank smiled and hugged her tightly while I felt my own tears fill my eyes as I smiled at the couple, their destiny finally sealed. Gerard and Amy, whom I barely met for the first time; apparently she was Gerard's newest main squeeze. She seemed pretty cool so far. Of course this only obligated Mikey to express his happiness that Gerard was no longer in question of his sexuality.
While Frank and Jamia basked in the ambiance of their engagement, the rest of us had of ofcourse remained in the living room to talk amongst ourselves. Asia had fallen asleep on the couch as I asked to move her to the guest room where she wouldn't be disturbed. I shut the door halfway and walked to the bathroom to wash my hands when I opened the door a little too quickly only to find Gerard and Amy making out heavily as clothes were undone and both of them looked at me as if I was holding a gun.
"Umm...Umm..." I stuttered before holding my hand up.
"Sorry! I didn't know you were in here...carry on." I told them with a nod as I shut the door quickly while trying to erase the image of Gerard's pale chest.
"Oh God." I groaned as I knew I wouldn't be able to look past this.
So much for my New Year's resolution to no longer drink...
"I want candy!" Asia kept shouting as I rolled my eyes and opened the door to the apartment.
"It's midnight and there's no candy to eat anyways. It's bed time." I told her as she used the puppy dog face at me as I looked at her with narrow eyes.
"Nice try sweetheart. It's still midnight and it's still bed time." I replied as she frowned but finally let up as I walked her to her room and changed her into Hello Kitty pajamas while Bob tucked her into bed. She tiredly yawned as I kissed her head.
"Goodnight hun." I told her softly.
"Goodnight mommy." she replied as Bob came next and brushed her hair.
"Night night cuppiecake." he smiked as she blinked her eyes and smiled.
"Goodnight daddy." she replied as we both widened our eyes as she fell asleep without another word. I looked at him to see his expression as I saw his lips curl into a smile.
"Did she really mean it?" he asked me while we walked into the living room. I smiled and nodded. There was a part of me that wasn't necessarily surprised, it had been more than a month practically that Asia had seen and interacted with Bob. She had taken a liking to him so much by now, I was preparing myself for this moment. But even all the preparation in the world couldn't help me now.
"She did." I said genuinely as he seemed to take pride in this.
"I was beginning to wonder if she would ever say that." he replied as I nodded in understanding.
"I was too." I admitted as he half smiled at me before looking at his watch.
"Well I better go. It's late." he replied as he gave a small wave before I found myself objecting.
"Wait." I told him as he looked back at me curiously.
"You can stay if you want. You're already here." I shrugged as he smiled before shrugging back at me.
"If you want me to." he teased slightly as I nodded.
"I want you too." I replied with a smiled as he stepped back closer, not realizing what I had just done...
Because in a few simple moments, it was all over.
Our lips touched, his hands touched me and I regretfully enjoyed it. Clothes shed and skin against skin was the only thing I felt as his mouth moved steadily and hungrily down my neck as I closed my eyes. I shivered as he bit the skin and kept working down until he was doing things I'd never thought I feel again. He was in control this time, as he took over my body and made it bend to his will. Flashbacks of that one stupid night kept racing through my mind as he kept touching me. I could feel the tears form again as they kept getting stronger and my body being pushed into the soft mattress.
'It's different this time.' I kept reminding myself. This was different. He was different. I was different. He was fully aware and sober, he wanted me. Didn't he? Or was he going to leave again?
I didn't want to have to ask these things, I didn't want to be reminded of the past. Because he here was making love to me and I couldn't even determine if I wanted this. But as he did once before, he turned me against myself and I was being drawn back into him. I was responding to him and he wanted that.
My heart was racing so rapidly, I was more than certain he could feel it. He kept thrusting and touching, kissing and soothing until I couldn't take it anymore. I cried out his name and I felt tears slide down my cheeks as I panted from my high and my mind was recovering from overdrive.
I felt my body go limp and I sank further into the abyss of the mattress and blankets while trying to process what just happened. I didn't speak, didn't move, and hardly didn't breathe as I only stared at the ceiling. The familiar agonizing words had repeated itself over and over.
What had I just done?