Chapter 11. filler/depression.
I sat on the couch feeling really depressed
“maybe you should go to bed” Cassadee said and I nodded, as I got up, Brendon was at the door
“Ella’s in hospital, we’re on our way there now” he said
I didn’t even question “I’m coming”
He nodded and I followed him and we took a minivan
“she was hit by a car” Brendon explained and my depression worsened and he rubbed my back
We got to the hospital and found her room and I saw her, on the bed covered in blood, cuts, bruises with doctors all around her with needles and scissors
“no, they’re hurting her!” I said but Brendon and Jon pulled me back
“they’re helping her” Jon said softly “sit”
“no, I don’t want to sit” I said watching everything they were doing.
She looked so lifeless, I just wanted to go in there and wake her up, but instead I cried.
The doctors came out saying she was in a coma and I couldn’t handle it, I swore and Brendon held onto me and tried to calm me down.
They let me into the room and I sat beside her and just looked at her arms, her perfect skin was just ruined, her face managed okay with just a bruise on her right cheek
“Ella” I said softly but I started to cry “I’m hoping this isn’t some sort of sick joke”
I looked at the heart monitor beeping and caught glimpses or her breathing. I frowned and gently stroked her arm and eventually fell asleep.
I went into Ella’s room and Frank was sleeping by her side as usual, I woke him up and he was drooling
“hey babe” I said sitting with him “I brought you food”
“I don’t wanna eat” he frowned
“you need to eat, I don’t want her waking up finding you on one of these hospital beds” I said handing him he bag “eat. Please. You can eat in here, I don’t give a fuck”
He nodded and I watched him eat
“her parents are coming in today” I said
“great” he mumbled
“they’re probably gonna wonder why you’re around their daughter” I said looking at her lying peacefully “so maybe think about explaining”
He nodded again and finished eating and I put the bag in the bin and went and sat with him again
“I’m so scared” he said softly and I looked at him “why?”
“what if she doesn’t wake?” he said
“she will” I said holding his hand “they can’t let her go this easily”
I looked and saw that he was crying and I held him closer, getting upset that he was being this way. It was so unlike him.
“you need some fresh air, or Atleast shower” I said but he shook his head
“I’ll let you know if she wakes?” I said
“no, I want to be here when she wakes, and tell her I’m sorry” he said breaking down and I frowned and held him again
“Frank, I don’t know if I should be the person telling you this, but you don’t know when she’s gonna wake. The doctors said she’s in a coma, it could be weeks, months or even years” I said softly with my head on his “you just don’t know and I don’t want you sitting here, not eating or cleaning yourself regularly for months”
He just shook his head “I’m not ready to hear that from you, or anyone”
I nodded and Ella’s parents came into the room
“who are you?” her father demanded
“now Steve” her mother said holding his arm
“uh, we’re from the tour” I said and “Steve” calmed down and her mother walked around and looked at her daughter and held her hand “what happened?” she said softly
“she was in a car accident” I said softly “she was crying and didn’t see where she was going”
“why was she crying?” Steve asked me and I was about to speak and looked at Frank
“its… my fault” Frank said miserably
“no its not” I said “it was Emma’s”
“Emma?” she said
“she’s a dancer that told Ella that my friend Frank here was like any other rockstar and so, Ella stayed away. But yesterday, Ella walked onto the tour bus to find Emma kissing Frank and she stormed out” I explained and Steve walked over to Frank “get up” he said in a scary tone and Frank slowly got up and he was pushed against the wall
“WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT TO MY DAUGHTER?” he yelled and I jumped up and stood infront of Frank with wide eyes and Ella’s mother came to calm her husband down
“STEVEN! This is not the time, our daughter is in a coma” she said angrily and in tears
Steve stared at Frank before turning and comforting his wife
“are you okay?” I asked Frank and he nodded
“you can tell he’s a bad influence, look at his tattoos” Steven muttered
“oh like you can talk” Ella’s mother said
Brendon walked in to check on us and offered me a ride back
“I cant leave him” I said in the hallway
“we need you around, everyone is so down” he said taking my hand
“Frank needs me the most” I said “will you come get me later tonight?”
“I’ll give you four hours” he said and I nodded and gave him a peck on the cheek.
Steve turned out to be an alright guy. He showed me all of his tattoos and admitted to being a drummer in a band when he was younger and knew what kind of shit we got upto.
“ever since I got married, it just changed me” he said “it was fun getting all the girls because you were in a band, but when I met Helen everything just changed. She was the one”
He showed me his left arm and I saw Ella’s name written in a pretty font “I got this done the day after she was born, she always wanted me to put love hearts and stars around it when she was six and hasn’t really stopped”
I smiled “I don’t blame her”
He nodded and pulled his sleeve down “shes a good girl you know” he said looking at me “and you are too”
“thanks” I said
“I guess I’m just scared” he said looking at his daughter and then at his watch “its nearly midnight, I better take Helen home”
I nodded and he stood up “you sure you don’t wanna stay at our place and come back in the morning?”
I shook my head “I wanna be here for her”
He nodded and woke Helen up and they both left and I passed out.
I started dreaming that I was drowning. Ella was there, in the water with me
“Frank don’t do this” she said
“I have to” I replied
“I don’t want you drowning yourself” she said angrily
“what if I don’t see you again?” I said filling my lungs fill with water
“Frank stop it!” she shouted “you’ll see me in your dreams”
“that’s not enough” I frowned and dunked my head into the water but she pulled me out
“Frank I don’t want to lose you” she said “incase you haven’t noticed, I’m still alive”
“what if you don’t wake up?” I said with a struggle “I want you back”
“I’ll wake up if you don’t drown yourself” she said
“how can I believe you?” I asked
“because it’s me” she said “I’m calling to you in my coma“
I wasn’t sure what to believe, then again it was a dream
“I still don’t know how I can believe you” I frowned
Her lips touched mine and her make up was smearing
“just wake up.” She said in tears
I twitched and sat up, it was still dark outside but everything felt real.
It was five days since the accident and it was hard playing as a band without Frank and some replacement instead. We had to head off in two days but something told me that Frank wasn’t going to budge if Ella wasn’t awake. I held onto my head and shut my eyes when I heard a gentle tap at the door and looked up to see Lauren all dressed for the show.
“hey” she said softly and sat with me on the couch
“hey Lauren” I said
“hanging in there I see” she smiled a little
“barely, but I’m trying” I said and she nodded
“the girls aren’t really handling it well, Emma’s just quit and went on home” she said “such a fucking pussy that girl is, not even standing up for something that was her own fault”
I had never heard Lauren use such foul language and was a little amazed
“there’s no real good way to handle it” I said and she nodded again in agreement
“I better go, just wanted to see if you were okay” she said
“are you okay?” I asked looking at her and she opened her mouth to speak but shut it for a moment “not really” she replied and kissed my cheek and got up and went on stage
I don't think these were longer at all, DAMMIT!
i won't be accessed to my laptop for 12 days guys, enjoy the sun for nearly 2 weeks kiddos!
Love, SareBear XoXo