FicWad

Me and Patrick went out to dinner that night and he took me to this little Italian restaurant that apparently was my favorite place in the whole wide world, and even though I didn’t remember it, they sure became my favorite place all over again. Me and Patrick sat there in silence and I felt like I should be the one to break the ice, so I did.

“Im just gonna ask. How did we meet?” I sipped on water and he finished chewing his food.


“I was actually helping you guys record an album, and you for some reason, drove me wild, in a good way. You were funny and awesome to be around, and you made the process so much fun, and I actually looking foreward to coming and helping you guys. Not to mention the rest of the guys were crazy about your friends. I just got out of a long relationship and I wasn’t looking for anything, but then you happened, and I couldn’t help myself.” he took a sip of his drink and he looked at me, and for a second I forgot everything in the world and I got lost in those eyes. And then I caught myself, but he’s my fiance, should I have to catch myself?

“so who started this?” I put my fork down and I put my head on my hand.

“Me and you were alone one night in the studio. And we were going over some lyrics that you thought weren’t good enough, but I thought were amazing, and we were having this little spat. You looked amazing, and I couldn’t help but stare at you. And for some reason I decided to be ballsy, and I leaned in and kissed you. You didn’t pull away. And one thing led to another and you ended up at my house.” he smiled and started eating again.

“when did you know you were in love with me?” and a part of me thought that was too foreward, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“uh, well there was upcoming tour, and you said that you hated us being apart. So I went on my tour and one day when you had off, you surprised me, and I was so happy that I actually forgot my lyrics to one of our songs, and pete actually had to jump in. I couldn’t stop looking at you. There was something about the cloud of smoke and the way the light was hitting you, that I knew right there that I wanted to wake up next to you every morning and kiss you goodnight in our bed every night.” he laughed. The waiter came with our check.

After we payed, we left and started heading home. When we got home, it was just weird not being in the hospital anymore. I was tired and Patrick took note. He grabbed some blankets and pillows out of a hallway closet and started to set them up on the couch.

“what are you doing?” I asked him as I walked in to the living room

“making my couch bed, what are you doing?” he laughed.

“wondering why you’re not sleeping in our monstrous bed with me.” he turned and looked at me. There was something about that look that made me want him right there

“I just thought-” I walked over and I kissed him and he was taken back by it, but didn’t break the kiss. I couldn’t help myself. And if I could only feel this after two days of knowing him, I don’t know how I didn’t tear him apart before.

“whoa, whoa, I don’t want you to do anything you’re going to regret.” he pulled back a little.

“I would never regret you.” and I kissed him again. We made our way upstairs, and he gently kissed me as he put me on the bed. He was on top of me, and he was amazing with those lips.

The rest of the night was magical. It was passionate. And I was on cloud nine when I fell asleep on his chest.

The next morning I woke up to no one and kind of felt like I dreamt the whole thing. But then I smelled something amazing and made my way downstairs.

Everyone was in the kitchen and Patrick was beaming from ear to ear. I could hear the talking but no one knew I was there
“so, how was last night with her being home?” pete asked as he stood up against the counter eating pancakes.

“it was amazing, we went out to dinner and then came home, and it was like old times, I have a really good feeling that things are going to get better.” he was sipping coffee.

“so when do we tell her?” joe asked.

“well obviously that’s patricks job. I mean, none of us have the right to tell her.” heather said as she got up and started walking towards the sink.

What did they have to tell me? Were the going to tell me this was all a joke?

“I know but I can’t shake the feeling that she’s not going to believe us.” Patrick said, as he got quiet. “I mean, how do I tell someone who barely knows me, that they’re carrying my child?” I thought I was going to puke. WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?

“You have to tell her sooner than later, she’s already 20 weeks.” I heard Rachel pipe up. That’s why I always felt like something was living in side me. I grabbed my stomach. I didn’t know what I was going to do. I made a small move and then stairs creaked, and all eyes were on me.

“How long have you been standing there?” Patrick looked at me, like he was a deer caught in headlights.

“I just got down here, but I heard everything.” I looked at my hands and I knew someone was walking towards me.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t say something sooner. I really wanted to tell you last night, but I didn’t know when would be a good time.” he said it quietly.

“when would have been a good time? Can someone explain that to me?” I was louder this time, more angry.

“Sweetheart, please calm down, stress isn’t good for you.” I started to walk away, and everyone seemed to follow me.

“what are you doing?” Patrick asked as he watched my pack stuff.

“I’m leaving, I can’t deal with this, I don’t know any of you, I have no idea who I am, and I just found out that I’m having a baby with a man I’ve never even met before. How the fuck do I know this isn’t some weird ass stunt you people have put together?” I was crying and emotionally and I felt like a caged animal. I pushed past everyone and made my way to the door.

“please don’t leave like this. I’m sorry I should have told you.” that was the last thing I heard as I closed the door.

I got in to the car that I assumed was mine and started it, I picked up my phone and I couldn’t think straight. I didn’t know who to call or where to go. But for some reason I got this feeling that I should look through my phone, maybe someone’s name would sound familiar. And there it was the name Paul. For some reason that name seemed to really stick out. But I couldn’t remember why. And then a flashback hit me.

***

Today was the day we finally got to California for a big tour, I was so excited I couldn’t stop bouncing, and we decided to stay on Fall out boys tour bus. We were all having a good time, and just goofing off like normal. The buses stopped and we were at a venue. Four guys who looked vaguely familiar walked over to us.

“hey, guys whats going on?” pete asked as he shook their hands. But you’re eyes never left mine, and I felt this chill and when Patrick touched me I jumped. I started to walk back to the bus but you followed me.

“hi, I’m paul. And you must be Kayla. The lead singer of cardboard armor.” he smiled this gorgeous smile, and I was instantly lost in it.

After that day we started hanging out all the time, we go out to eat together and spend the night on each others buses. No one ever thought differently but there was always that running joke that I was more his girlfriend than Patrick’s, but he always laughed it off.

One night paul and I were alone on the bus together and we were just watching movies, I wasn’t feeling good and paul decided to stay and hang out. Patrick had flew back to Chicago to take care of something, and he wouldn’t be back for a few days.

Paul looked over at me. “Hey”. and he was slouched down on the couch. He was wearing tight black jeans, DC shoes a “used” t shirt and a black hoodie that was unzipped, his one leg was propped on the table in front of us and he was shaking back and forth. To say the least, he looked hot.

“Hey”. I said back to him, and he smiled at me. He arched his back alittle bit and he sat up. And he turned to me. “So I was wondering if maybe you would want to go and see a movie with me on Saturday. We’re all off.” he looked kinda nervous

“Yeah that sounds like fun, why do you look so nervous?” and I laughed and looked at him from the corner of my eye.

“Because I’ve been wanting to do this.” and he grabbed me and kissed. He brushed his hand against my cheek and pulled my closer by the back of my neck. And I melted. I couldn’t break the kiss. I was literally putty in his hands. It was passionate. I was in love with Patrick, but paul made me melt, I hadn’t felt that way with Patrick in a really long time. He was the one to break away from the kiss and he stared at me.

He rested his forehead one mine and said “I’ve been waiting to do that since I met you. I just didn’t know if I should.” and smiled a breathy smile. I couldn’t move or think or do anything, all I could do was think about that kiss. As soon as he pulled away the door opened to the bus and everyone walked in, including Patrick.

Paul gave me a look that said a million words, but screamed the two most important “our secret”.

Patrick sat down next to me and kissed me and I didn’t know how to feel about any of it.

Following that kiss, me and paul would sneak around. We spent a night together at a hotel in a small little town where no one would know us and we made love that night, we didn’t have sex. It was passionate, warm, loving it was everything a first time with someone should be. And in the morning when I woke up, he was cuddled next to me. And up until the accident, everything had been still going on.

***end flashback

I dialed the number and waited for him to answer.

“Oh my god, it’s you.” he sounded just like I remembered.

“it’s me, can I see you?” I asked and I felt so weird, what if it was weird.

“yeah, when did you get out of the hospital, I was there a few time, but you weren’t awake, are you still living with Patrick? They said you would never remember.” he wouldn’t stop talking, and by now everyone was making their way out of the house to come to the car, and more than likely murder me.

“look, ill answer everything you just asked when I get to your house, I just need you to tell me where I live, I don’t remember.”

He told me his address and I left right before Patrick got the car. No one knew where paul lived, atleast not my previous knowledge. When I got there he was already outside, and he looked amazing. For some reason that smile was the only thing I could ever rememeber.

“hey” he said and it made me think of the first night he ever kissed. And then he did kiss me and I felt my knees buckle. “are you ok?”

“yeah I’m fine, I just missed you I guess.” and I smiled and he chuckled at that.

“so hows the baby?” as he patted my stomach.

“wait how did you know about that?” I asked very confused.

“Kayla, why wouldn’t I know? It’s mine remember.” he laughed as he put his arm around me.

What have I gotten my self into?