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Bob and Ray had to go home at about 1am but Frank stayed all night. We both had had a bit to drink and I woke up staring at him, on the floor.
He was curled up, an arm under his head and the other limp in front of his face, he looked so peaceful lying there, free of any worries or taunts from people at school. He was actually quite cute, I'd never seen him in this light before, he had been so vunerable last night when we scared him witless. His long natural browny black lashes brushed his cheek, and he pouted slightly in his sleep. I watch his chest rise and fall gently for a few moments and smiled to myself.
He was my first friend in a long time,as well as Ray and Bob, I really liked him. He was funny, and cheeky.
I sat up and saw Mikey asleep on the couch, his glasses wonky where he'd slept and his long awkward teenage limbs hanging over the end of the small furniture piece. I stood up and ran a hand through my messy hair, I didn't feel like a I had much of a hangover. My head hurt a little but that was it.
No nausia, no loud crashes in my ears, no stumbling around.
I'd missed waking up like this, it felt nice.
I looked at the clock on the wall, woah, it was 12:20pm already. I couldn't remember what time we'd eventually passed out last nig- this morning, but the DVD player was still on and the TV was on the set up screen for Nightmare on Elm Street.
I wandered into the kitchen, clicking the coffee machine on. Getting out a mug, cream and sugar, I stood and watched the two in the living room.
I don't understand how I can be feeling like this, I felt like I wanted to sit and watch Frank, be with him, he made me feel complete. I hadn't felt like this in a long time, he made me happy. My like had been broken and it felt like he was picking up the pieces.
I can't be thinking clearly I can't... love him. Right? I just can't. I hav- I had a girlfriend and I'm not gay.
I got out my phone and texted my cousin Laura.
Heya L, how's life?
I hadn't talked to her in months, but we used to be close, hopefully she didn't hate me like the rest of my old friends.
Woah, G, I didn't know you still knew I existed
xxx she replied as the coffee machine clicked to an end.
I finished making my coffee and went and sat on the front porch, in the cool air.
V.funny. Look I need to ask you something I sent. I can't seriously be thinking this.
Sure, shoot. I got back
How do you know if you are in love again?
Laura had been through her fair share of break ups, being a year older then me. But she'd also been a good friend to Jessica. I thought her name. I'd actually thought about 'her' name. And I wasn't crying or thinking suicidal thoughts.
Shit, I really was feeling this.
O. Moving on are we?
Don't judge me okay, you don't know what it feels like I sent back, drinking more coffee.
You think you're the only one who lost someone?
I knew she wasn't majorly mad at me, I think the fact I had ignored her for months didn't help.
Sorry, that was harsh. x my phone buzzed before I'd had a chance to reply.
It's okay. I just.... think I'm in love. help?
What's her name? That felt like a kick to the gut. Her name. Well it isn't a her is it.
HE is called Frank. That's why I asked for your help.
She took longer to reply this time. but instead of a text my phone started ringing.
I stood up answering it, "Yeah, so that's why I need your help." I said to her down the line.
"I see." I was nice to hear her voice after all this time, "Umm... Is he-"
"Yeah, he's gay. I don't know what to do Laura. I'm really stuck." I said quiet enough not to wake the others.
"And do you think he likes you?" she asked, Laura was so good because she didn't judge people, only looked out for their best interest.
"Yeah, we've sorta.... kissed. That's what started this."
"Woah, woah woah, Gee. You've kissed him!" she half shrieked.
"Calm down, it was a dare, and we were both drunk. I can't really remember it."
"I think. you should just go with it. If it is what you really want, go after it. Talk to Mikey, you know he'll understand. But don't do anything you'd regret."
I heard the front door open and stood on the porch was a sleepy looking Frank.
"Why are you stood outside?" He asked, rubbing his eyes like a child.
"Erm, look Laura, I have to go. We'll talk later. bye." I said hanging up and turning to Frank smiling lightly.
I woke up in Gerard living room, Mikey was asleep on the couch and I aparently had spent last night on the floor.
I sat up, rubbing my neck, Gerard wasn't there. The comforting smell of coffee was coming from the kitchen but when I got there, it was empty.
I heard a voice outside.
"I don't know what to do Laura. I'm really stuck." It was Gerard, on the phone I guessed, I sat next to the kitchen window, he had his back to me, but I could hear him through the open window.
"Yeah, we've sorta.... kissed. That's what started this."I stopped breathing, he was talking about us. Did he have... feelings for me?
I still had a fuzzy head from sleep but I heard that clear enough, I opened the front door and he turned around, so I acted a little.
"Why are you stood outside?" I asked rubbing my eyes, pretending I'd just woken up.
My heart was thuding in my chest. Gerard Way seriously had feelings for me. He smiled up at me and walked up the porch, sitting on the top step, patting the space next to him.
"Can we talk?" He said as I sat down. I nodded.
"Yeah. what's on your mind?" I asked.
"Do you... like me? Like...." he ran a shaky hand through his hair, "Urgh, god I don't even know why I'm saying this, it isn't right, I should just-"
I silenced him by gently pressing my lips against his, I knew it was the wrong thing to do, but it answered his question.
I slowly pulled back, longing for the taste of his lips and the warm coffee smell of his skin.
"D-does that answer your question?" I asked, trying to breath.
"Uh huh." he said, quite shocked.
"And you?" I asked quite vaugly.
"I think I do." he said quietly, looking down. His black hair flopping over his eyes. I put two fingers under his chin, pulling his head up.
"Then don't be ashamed of it." I said holding his gaze, his gorgous eyes, folowed mine. "Just let your self feel what you want to feel." I said. I don't know where I'd got this from, it just seemed right.
"C-can, I kiss you?" He asked quietly again, I nodded and he leaned forward, letting go of his coffee, letting it spill down the steps. I caught his lips in mine, soft and warm, and gentle. This should have been our first kiss, not the stupid drunken one from the party.
I put one hand on his back and my other behind me, holding myself up, I openened my mouth slowly, letting his tongue in, he was hesitant but I felt it trace along my lip, sending shocks through my body, his bitter sweet breath mixed with my own. He rested his forehead on mine, trying to get his breath back.
"I love you." he murmered, I smiled and pulled him down to kiss him again.
"Oh. My. God." The voice made up both jump, Gerard immeadiately pulled back, slamming into the porch post, I scrambled to my feet.
A very confused and shocked looking Mikey stood at the door, "Please say you two are drunk." He said wide eyed.
AAHHHH I can't leave it there! I take it back IM NOT FINISHED YET! I'm going to go make some coffee, then come back! See you ya then xoxo Maria.