Chapter 2- Expectations
I looked at my room. It was dark and only a little stream of light cam through the, small window. My eyes were drawn to my Misfit posters though, no one at school knew I liked The Misfits anymore. I got out of bed and went over to my drawer it was halloween today which meant....no I wouldn't think of him.
I grabbed my black ripped skinnys and skeleton top out of my drawer. Maybe I could get away with being myself today, say it was my costume for halloween. I hurried and put my clothes on, it felt so good to be wearing my usual, clothes for once. I tried to remember the last time I looked like this, not since i'd become popular. The only thing that was the same about me was my hair, even my personality had changed. I was expected to follow the crowd and not be myself and dress as an 'emo'.
My eyeliner was still on my desk. I thought about it and decided to put it on. I smiled at myself, I felt so good in myself fucking brilliant infact. As I ran downstairs Mikey(my little brother) gave a shocked gasp.
"You like Mikey?" I laughed and gave a twirl. Ever since i'd been popular Mikey and I had grown apart along with me and Fr...no I wouldn't think of him.
"Well...yeah Gee I do, its bloody brilliant that your, being yourself again." Mikey's face lit up with happiness. It was nice to see him like this, he'd been so distant just playing his bass.
"Well only for today." my cheeks were going red I could feel it.
"Oh well in that case your still a, fucking dick head." he stormed off I didn't see the point in trying to get him to come back. Mikey's and I's relatioship was just not, what it used to be. This upset me so much.
The only reason I stopped dressing like this, is because I started to make friends. I wasn't an outsider I actually felt like I fit in, for once. I had girls falling all over me, even though this disgusted me. I was gay after all. Only Mikey knew this though, one day he'll probably use it against me. That's how bad thing were between us. A tear rolled down my cheek, I quickly remembered I had eyeliner on and wiped it away.
Mom was still in bed she didn't really, look after us if I was honest but it was better than nothing. I left her a note instead of waking her.
'Mom, just leaving for school i'll be home befor 10. Gee'
I grabbed my black and red rucksack, just remembering I had to switch the contents over from my over bag. After I did this I left letting the door close behind me. I was thinking about why Mikey hated me, it's not my faut people had expectations from me at school. I couldn't be the guy who wrote song lyrics and drew. I had to be tough who threw those type of people in bins. I hated myself.
I got to school and took a deep breath. I was late today, but it still didn't make me less nervous. My first lesson had most my friends in, and Frank. Shit i'd thought about him. Frank with the amazingly brill...No Gee I thought to myself. He hates you, your not friends anymore and he's not gay and never will be.
I walked to my first class which was biology, it was the one lesson I sat next to Frank for. Would he talk to me as I was dressed like, him? I sure hoped so it'd been so long since, i'd heard his voice. His voice that sounded like angels.
He never told me why he went away at the begining of the summer, I was dieing to know. That why I changed, I thought he'd moved and everything I did, reminded me of him. Well today i'd at least say happy birthday, and maybe I could ask him. I don't know.
I was outside my biology room, what would people think of what I was wearing. I grabbed my iPod out of my bag and put on The Misfits, it was now or never. People would either accept me today or they wouldn't. Was I actually considering going back to this look? I suppose I was.
I grinned at myself no only would Mikey be happy but if it worked them I might get my Frankie back! This was it for me and I opened up and stepped into my biology room.
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