Probably one of the only chapters Mikey isn't impersonating a girl.
Mikey and I are sitting across from each other in our tour bus.He has been weirdly quiet all day and punched me when I referenced his love of unicorns.Normally he'd just laugh or something.
"Mikey?"I ask."Are you still on your period?I've heard walking helps,y'know."
He looks up,his eyes venomous."So,we're not going to talk about it at all,are we?"
I wince.His tone is fucking acidic.
"Talk about what,Mikes?"
"Oh My God,"he laughs in disgust,"you actually have the balls to say that to me?Talk about what,Mikes?Jesus Christ,Gerard."
Ignorance ain't bliss."James told me.You and Frank.Radiohead's dressing room."
"Listen,Mikey,I'm sorry about not getting you an autograph,but-"
"Oh,you fucking idiot!"he screams."I'm talking about you and Frank."
"Oh."My voice is tiny."And?"
"And?And?You sit here and actually ask that when Sarah is incon-fucking-solible in the next room?What are you,made of stone?"
Fuck him!"What's it to you?"
"It's fucking everything to me!If you go ahead with this,this band is fucked!You two will destroy this band.You've seen it in other bands,Gerard,you're just too fucking stubborn to admit it!"
"Oh,so now I'm stubborn,am I?"
"Yes,you are!This is completely your fault-"
"My fault?!How the fuck is it my fault?!"
"Oh,c'mon,Gerard,you're smart enough!"Mikey shouts.I gotta admit,he's freaking me out,laughing hysterically like a lunatic."God knows you're smart enough!You're smart enough to con your best friend into thinking you love him!"
"That's not conning,you stupid bastard,that was the truth!Every single word of it was the truth!"
I've never been angrier.My hands are shaking,clenched into fists by my sides.
"You're so pathetic,Gerard,you fucking junkie,you just fuck up people's lives around you!"he spits.Tears-real tears-are splashing down Mikey's face."I knew you were acting weird,I should've known!"
"Known?Known what,that I was gay?"
"Mikey,"I stammer in disbelief,"you're a homophobe."
"I am not,"he snaps,"I just think it's the most selfish fucking thing to do in the world,screwing him around like that!"
"I wish we weren't related,Gerard,"he murmurs,because you do nothing but disappoint people."
I try to punch him.Kick him. Pulverize him into the ground.But I can't.The statement did exactly what it was meant to do:the pain hits me like a brick.
"You....you...don't mean that,"I croak."You.....can't mean that."
"I do.And trust me,Gerard,"he gets up,"if you were me,you'd mean it too."
And like that,he walks away,and gets off the tour bus.
I turn around,and see everyone looking at me.
"I....I'm so sorry,guys."
That sets Sarah off again,sobbing.Horrible,wracking sobs that come from your chest.Ray looks disgusted,shaking his head at me,an arm around Lea.Maria doesn't even look at me,she just stares at the floor.Bob is just glaring at me,his eyes like glass orbs.Gia is also glaring.
"Frank?"I ask,a tad irritated."Don't you think you should say something too?"
He turns to Sarah,tears in his eyes."Oh,babe,I'm so sorry,I made the biggest mistake of my life.I need you,Sarah,you fucking complete me.Will you,"he reaches into his pocket and pulls out that same small black box,"will you marry me?"
And with that,my mind shatters into a million pieces.
I vaguely hear Sarah screaming "Oh,yes,Frank,of course!"I also see the pair hug,everyone clap.
It's like I don't exist.
Sarah comes over,and says she's so sorry and of course there's no hard feelings,right?
No hard feelings.No hard feelings.No hard feelings?
Oh,Sarah,my dear,there's nothing but hard feelings.
And suddenly Frank hugs me.
No,no:that's too fucking much for my liking.
"Frank,get off me,please,"I state coldly,pushing him away from me.
"W-w-w-what's wrong,Frank?You're asking me what's wrong?"
He nods and sighs.
"Gerard,how could you think that meant anything?Sarah and I have been going out for years;I do love you,but in a he's-in-the-band kinda way,y'know?"
No,I don't know.I do know that you are fucking slowly killing me,though.I do know that.
"I mean,we kiss on stage all the time,that doesn't mean anything,right?"
Say something.Say something now. You can cry later,Gerard.
"Yeah,yeah,I'm sorry,Frank."Keep going,keep going."And congrats on your wedding,man."
He starts talking to Ray and I continue to sway on the spot.