It's Franks birthday and Gerard decides to make a visit, but is it for the best?
My birthday and I'm all alone.
Mom is out on a business trip,leaving me on my own for a week.
I sit silently in the kitchen, outside is still dark and very occasionly a car would go past the house.
I've been awake all night, sat here,thinking.
I even muttered "Happy Birthday Frankie-boy" to myself at midnight.
I stood up and grabbed my jacket that was hanging on the stair rail.
I closed the front door behind me -not bothering to lock it- and pulled the jacket closer around my shivering body.It was bloody freezing out here.
I walked down the street, away from Gerard's house, nearer the local park,the cold morning air woke me up more.
I could feel warm tears rolling down my cheeks again, this was the first time I'd cried today.I'd told myself not to. I had to be brave, I'm an adult now,I can't be a little wimp and cry because my mommy isn't here to wish me happy birthday. Or because my boyfriend is refusing to acknowledge my existance.
But I just let them fall,I lowered my head,watching the ground infront of me, staring down at my battered shoes.
I walked across the empty street, subconsciously walking to my best friends house.
I stood infront of Rays door and knocked quietly.Realising he would be asleep, I rang the doorbell.
I really should let him sleep,but I don't want to be alone anymore.
A few minutes later a very tired and sleepy looking Ray opened the door and I clung to him,wrapping my arms around him and sobbed into his chest.
"Frank?" he said,"Frank.What's happened?" He put a hand on my back as I cried.
"Dont want to be alone" I managed to get out inbetween sobs. He somehow shut the door and got me to sit on the sofa.
We talked for hours, I told him what I'd been up all night thinking of doing to myself,he didn't judge me, just frowned a little.
I told him about everything that happened with Gerard and why I dont think he loved me anymore. Ray gave me a blanket and told me to try and get some sleep, we could talk more later.
I woke up at about 8 o'clock this morning because I was so nervous about seeing Frank.
It was Halloween and his birthday,as a kid, I'd of loved that.
For hours I paced in the kitchen, debating with myself whether or not to go.The amount of coffee I'd had was stupid.
Mikey eventually got mad at me for pacing back and forth in front of him. He told me to just go.
So now I stood infront of Frank's house. It was smaller then mine,and very dark inside, his car was in the drive so he must be home.
I knocked the door, it echo-ed throughout the house.
He wasn't in,at 11:15,he must have gone out I thought to myself.
I tried the door handle and it swung open,"Frank? You in here"I called, walking into the deserted building.
I walked into the kitchen and saw a note on the table.
It looked like lyrics to a song,there were little tear stains on the paper and my eyes pricked with tears.
G I loved you more then you could have ever known, so long and good night.F xit said at the bottom.
"So long and good night."I muttered to myself. Then it dawned on me. I'd written a note like this, the night I tried to...
"FRANK!"I shouted running upstairs, I checked his bathroom, his bedroom and every other room in the house. I found no one.
I sat on the bottom step, chest heaving and I started to cry.
He'd either killed himself or was going to. Because of me. On his birthday.
"Gerard?What are you doing in my house?"I heard a small voice say from the front door.
He stood at the door, he looked like an angel. He looked perfect.
I got up and flung my arms around him,holding him close.
"I'm sorry Frank. I really am." I placed my lips onto his. He immeadiately kissed back, gently and lovingly.We hadn't done this in a long time.
He wrapped him arms around me "I love you" he said into my ear.
"I love you too." I replied, looking him in the eye,"I thought you'd-... the note...- Frank why?" I said broken.
He shrugged, "I thought you didn't lo-"
"Never say that." I said putting a finger on his lips "Never ever ever Frank Anthony Iero.I love you more then I could ever scream. Don't ever do that to me again."
He pressed his face into my chest,clinging to me.
"oh,Frank, Happy birthday" I day,getting the piece of paper out of my back pocket for him.
He looked at it, unfolding the creases slowly, "You make it look easier then it really is"I said as he read over the lyrics,tears welled up in his eyes.
"Gee." he said quietly, "These are perfect."
"Sorry it isn't much of a present."
"But it is, these are amazing" he wiped his eyes and quickly kissed my lips, "best birthday present ever."
like? Sorry for all the tears. will get happier I PROMISE