is this the end?
I tend to listen to music while I am reading, so to get the full effect, I would recommend listening to the same songs as I am. =]]
listening to "Desert Song" [my chemical romance] don't have the song? go to: www.xanga.com/waiting_rooms
Black streaks overcome her pale lifeless face as a flurry of people crowd around and he is wheeled away on a stretcher. Riding in the ambulance was the most agonizing, terrible car ride she'd ever taken. Do the EMT's she's riding with even care about him? Is he just another corpse added to the body count down at the morgue? Why aren't they helping him? The 5 minutes in the back with him seem like an eternity. The single most important person in her life lying there unconscious with blood pouring out of his chest and head.
Her mind wanders far off to all the moments they spent together. Swimming in water fountains in the park late at night , dressing up like it's halloween in june, tickle fights, playing dodgeball with all the guys, piggy back rides, kisses in the rain. All together reality sneaks up on her and smacks her in the face.
She jumps out of the back and runs to meet doctors already on the scene waiting to treat him. She stares into his eyes and sees an expression never before confronted. Pure terror. His eyes moved back and forth trying to figure out what the doctors were saying to eachother. Finally as they reached the end of the hall she is forced to leave his side and with one last touch he was out of sight. She lost grip on his hand as swinging doors closed in her face. She couldn't stop seeing that look on his face. Would she ever understand what he was thinking at that moment? Knowing that she couldn't do anything about it killed her more inside than anything.
A nurse ushered her to the waiting room where frank promptly stood up and rushed over to hold her as she falls apart in his arms. The other guys join in a group hug as they wait tentatively for a verdict. She's cried so much she's all out of tears. She sits up every time a docter passes by the waiting room hoping that he will be delivering good news only to find out that he came to talk to someone else. So she sat there. Waiting.
They say loving someone is watching them die. And as she sat in that cold waiting room she hoped that she would be able to see him one more day. She hoped he would live on. That he would always be there for her like he promised. And that she could make new moments with him that she could always look back on.
Finally the moment she had been waiting all night for. As the tall man in a white coat comes toward her, the group stands up. He quietly tells her what she'd hope she would never have to hear. She falls to her knees and cries out. The tears roll down her face as she realizes the inevitable. "He's in critical condition." That's all she needed to hear. with help from gee she stands to her feet and slowly stumbles toward the door to Ray's room. She pushes the door aside and walks into the room. leaning over to kiss his forehead she whispers "please be okay my love." She sits in the chair next to his bed and holds his hand while he sleeps. Everyone makes their way towards him. They croud around the bed each praying he makes it through the night.
Without notice his heart moniter flatlines. nurses yell and dash into the room pushing everyone out. She watches in horror as they try to revive him and his chest jumps off the bed. Again and Again. In that moment she wonders if she will ever look upon his face again before he is in a casket. She wonders if this is the was the last time she would hold his hand. The very last time.