Frankie's P.O.V. Final installment of Chapter 6. LOVE THIS.
At around 5:00 a.m. Thursday, I heard Gerard wake up. I didn’t move because I was tired, and I knew he was watching me. That made me smile a little. I wonder if he noticed. He still watched me for a while, then got his clothes on. After he walked into the bathroom, I smelt the familiar scent of hair dye. Oh, Gerard is so wonderful… Before I knew it, I had fell back to sleep.
“Frankie…” Gerard called through the house.
“What?” I grumbled.
“If you want to go to work, you may want to get up now…” He said
I sprung out of bed, and put on my red eye liner. I slipped on my pants, and I could only find this pink belt my mother gave me a few years ago, and straightened it. I looked up and saw Gee, just staring at me.
“Hello, Gee.” I greeted him with a smile. I still hadn’t put my shirt on. He was staring a little lower than my face.
“Coffee is downstairs…” He said like a zombie.
“Okay…” I giggled. “You okay up there?”
“Um… Yeah… I think.” He answered, still staring at my toplessness.
“I hope you can wait…” I said, with a grin plastered on my face.
“Me too…” He replied, finally looking me in the eyes.
I slipped on my shirt, buttoned it up, and tried once or twice at the tie. I wish this was less complicated. I can tie my shoes… Doesn’t that count for anything? So I asked Gerard for help, and like a speeding bullet, he got it. I gave him a quick kiss and smiled.
“So about that coffee?” I asked, still smiling.
“Downstairs…” He said.
So I drug him downstairs, sat him down and put breakfast in front of him.
“Thank you, Frankie…” He said, smiling.
“Anything for you, Gerard.” I kissed his perfect cheek. “I love you… So much.”
“I love you to, Frankie.” He said acting like a school girl. God, why was he so adorable? He was like my transvestite school girl, and it was still cute as fuck. I think if Gerard was a chick, I’d go straight.
Then we got into the car and drove to work. Singing along with Gerard to all the songs on the radio made the car ride go faster. Then Gerard turned, stopped, parked and got out of the car. We were at work. Damn it. Well, I kind of wanted to go and punch Ray, then take a few more sick days, but nope. Get in, do job, go home, be with Gerard, repeat.
“Welcome to hell. Population, 178.” He giggled.
“Heaven help the next person that thinks they want to spend the majority of their day here.” I said frankly.
He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and pulled me closer to him. I rested my head on his arm, damn being so fucking short! As we got up to the door, I wanted everyone to be sure Gerard and I were us again, so I put my arm around his waist. God love Gerard. Then I saw Ray. I gave him the look of doom. He was looking a Gerard. I was going to rip his eyes out.
“Don’t start anything…” Gerard pleaded.
“Can I finish something?” I snapped back.
“I’d rather you not, Frankie. Can’t we try to be adult? Please try to work it out.” He begged.
“No. I can’t. I’m not tall enough to be an adult!” I began, being a smart ass. “And he only dated you to upset me!”
“Dated me?” He asked, sounding clueless.
“Yeah… He told me that before I…” I stopped, I didn’t want to talk about it.
“He told you that he and I were dating…?” He said. No. I’m lying to you.
“Yes.” I answered.
“Well, we didn’t. I couldn’t get over you, Frankie.” He said. Aw… That’s pretty cute…
“Oh… Another lie from the despicable bastar-” I was cut off.
“Hey, Gerard!” Ray yelled. Speak of the despicable bastard.
I looked up at Gerard. I couldn’t help the fact I felt pathetic and that transferred to my facial expression.
“What?” He asked Ray shrilly.
“Can we talk?” Ray asked.
Gerard was going to go, he gave me that ‘Sorry…’ nod. I didn’t want him to go. But, I can’t choose what he does. I knew Ray was still watching. So I did the only thing my brain found appropriate. I turn Gerard around and kissed him passionately. I let him go after about ten minutes.
“I love you, Gerard…”
“I love you, too, Frankie… I’m going to go talk to Ray quick. I’ll be back. Okay?” He said.
I nodded and he gave me a kiss on the cheek. I watched him walk away, and then I just didn’t want to watch what happened, so I hung my head and stood there. Ray was just a jerk to me. I knew him through grade school, and he ALWAYS had to be better than me at guitar, he always had to have more friends, and when he was the ass of the situation, he flipped it over to me.
Once he spilt his lunch ALL OVER himself, and then came up to me, took half of the food on my plate, put some in my hands, and said I f*ing threw it at him. I got one day O.S.S. He DELIBERATELY cut the strings on my guitar. I’d take it into school to play with the jazz band, and he’d bust into my locker, and cut the strings so HE could play. Oh, lets not forget the time he came up to my best friend Spencer, told her I told the whole school about her being a lesbian(which he just got done doing) and she never spoke to me again! He got me beat up all the time because I was gay, and ‘emo’. The man just hates me. He wants to ruin my damn life. It’s working!
I didn’t want to tell Gee that Ray was such a major d**che in school. They were such good friends, and Gerard had only moved to New Jersey a year before I graduated, so he wouldn’t know anything about it. Ray had always been nice to Gee. I think it pissed him off to see me have something he couldn’t, and now he’s just insane.
And then he walked over to me. Jesus. Here we fucking go again.
“Hello Frank.” Ray angrily spat out at me.
I did not respond. I kept a straight, composed face. This was mostly to avoid punching him directly in the mouth.
“I don’t want to talk to you. You’re not worth my time. I dislike you with a burning passion…” He began.
You have NO good reason to dislike me at all! I was nothing but tolerant of your silly little school antics. I didn’t even know YOU before you started treating my like your b*tch!
“I won’t hate you as much if you treat Gerard right this time. I‘d hate to see him like that over you again. He’s our responsibility…” He finished.
That’s it, princess fro-fro. You’ve pissed the wrong midget off. After recalling the memories, and the hell he sent me through, I blew up in his face.
“YOU CAN BLOW ME!” I just about screamed at him.
I was done standing his bull. No more would Frank Iero be stepped on!
“Shut up, temperamental midget.” Ray retorted. How intelligent. Oh, Ray, master of all comedy and humor, TEACH ME IN YOUR WAYS!
Then Gerard ran over. I wonder if he realized talking to Ray REALLY was not the best idea for me yet. Or to have Ray talk to me at all. I mean, the guy constantly treats me like dirt, and Gerard would just pretend like it wasn’t happening most times.
“Everything okay?” I heard Gee ask. I was to angered to take my attention away from Ray.
“I’m going to rip your curly hair out of your head, you obtuse lummox!” I half screamed again. At this point, most of the attention in the room was on Ray and I. Or just me.
“I said work it out, not piss him off!” Gerard said in my defense for once.
“I tried! He’s just plain unreasonable!” Ray demanded.
“Oh, I’ll fucking show you unreasonable!” I barked, about to slap him silly.
“Bring it, leprechaun!” Ray snapped.
I just simply flipped him off. I was EXTREMELY upset, almost to the point of tears.
“Come on, Frankie.” Gerard said and pulled me away from Ray. It’s a good thing he did, too.
“Fine, just make sure next time you send him over to make up, he doesn’t refer to you as mine and his… Because there is no f*cking way…” I stopped. The rest wasn’t worth saying. Well, it was, but Gerard would’ve gotten upset.
“It’s okay… I get it…” He said as he stroked my hair in an attempt to calm me down.
He pulled me into the bathroom, and at me down on the bench, held me and stroked my hair. I was still trying very hard not to burst into tears. Ray had always managed to make me hate myself, no matter what situation I was in, who I was with, or what I was doing. As Gerard pressed his cheek against the top of my head, I finally started to cry. And I was crying hard, to. I felt undeserving of such a good guy. I felt stupid for letting his brother kiss me. I felt terrible for trying to kill myself… At least for attempting, and failing that is.
“What if he takes you from me, Gerard?!” I asked urgently.
“You treat me right, Frankie. You’re the only thing that gives me the power to wake up anymore. You remember when I said ‘I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t pulled through’ at the hospital? I do know what I would’ve done. Would’ve done the same thing you did.” He said.
What? Why would he do that? Why would he end his life when he’s got so much to live for. He’s brilliant, charming, amazing, kind, caring, giving, respectful, funny, and absolutely beautiful.
“NO, GEE! NO! If I’m stupid enough to kill myself, you can’t do the same thing! You have to hold on. You’re strong enough. If I do, I’ll always be with you…”I said, reassuring him. I don’t want him to kill himself over me.
“Well. I’m sorry. But if you think you’re going to kill yourself, I am going to kill myself.” He said, sounding like he was just stating obvious everyday fact.
He was still holding me, and stroking my hair. He knew I hated it when people tried to make me feel better by hugging and holding. I mean, if you’re in a shitty mood, the last thing you want is to be groped. When I’m upset, I do not want a pair of roaming hands feeling every inch of me. As fun as it is in any other situation, it’s not when I’m pissy.
“Here, Gerard… I wrote this the day I-…” I stopped. I still don‘t want to talk about it. There will not be a day that goes by where I am comfortable talking about it. It was a dick move for me to just slit my wrists like that. “It’s the note I wrote first, before the one asking if you’d want to talk to me sometime.” I handed him the note, hopefully he doesn’t notice I’m shaking. “Please Gerard, please still love me. Please, please, please. I can’t handle myself without you anymore! I want you to love me again! I want you to need me again! I can’t stand this! I was so stupid, I was so fucking stupid! Forgive me Gerard! Please just forgive me!”
“You should’ve given me this one.” He said.
“I wanted to tell you to your face.” I said awkwardly.
“Either way… I love you, not Ray. You.” He said.
“Okay. I can’t believe I’ve been here for an hour, and I’m balling.” I said, a little in disbelief.
“I told you, you should’ve stayed home till Saturday.” He said, giving me a look of slight disapproval.
“I just wanted to get back in the swing of things.” I replied.
“That doesn’t matter. You’re not okay enough to work yet. I think you should ask Matt if you can stay out a few more days.” He suggested.
“But, I don’t want to be away from you, Gee…” I groaned.
“Is that why you wanted to come?” He asked.
“A little bit of the reason…” I hinted at him.
“Oh, well, how about we avoid Ray for a few days then.” He said.
“Okay.” I nodded again.
“Come on Frankie, how about we go back out there, and do our jobs?” He said, smiling at me with his gorgeous.
“Oh. Yes. Because my cubicle is really an upgrade from the bathroom.” I sighed sarcastically.
My job is so pitiful, I’d rather say that I was a prostitute. Hey, it may not pay well, but at least I might enjoy that. The only thing keeping me here was the paychecks. We actually got paid really well for just answering phones and filling out forms. I guess they had more money than they knew what to do with. I’m not arguing with that.
It was also a lot like high school. Ray was always a dick to me. There is a fuck load of he said/she said bull. And we do a lot of writing… Sometimes I want to stab myself in the eye I get so bored. What I liked about it here is the fact that we are allowed to left this hell hole for lunch. Speaking of lunch, I think I want to go out. I want more human food. So far I’ve only had breakfast and pizza.
Gerard walked me up to my cubicle. The first thing I noticed was there was a new cubicle in front of mine. Well, that’s curious. I wonder who’s there. I’m not going to check the name tag, I figured I’d just ask them what their name was. He gave me a kiss, and I sat at my desk, smiling. The phone rung as if it was on cue. I had a conversation with the lovely young woman who wanted the foot scrubbers. That’s nice, fungus foot. I’m glad I get to help you with your sweaty gross disease infested feet.
“Hello, Frank Iero.” Gerard sang.
“What are you doing here?” I asked beaming with joy.
“I’m just working. Now is your workplace better than the bathroom?” He asked, teasing me.
“Nah. It’s about the same.” I giggled.
Then, his phone rang. Have fun with that, Gee.