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Categories > Anime/Manga > Naruto

Conversation

The children are gone, and Jaraiya is worried. So he speaks with Gai.

Category: Naruto - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst, Romance - Characters: Gai, Jiraiya, Kakashi - Warnings: [!!] - Published: 2006/05/24 - Updated: 2006/05/24 - 374 words - Complete

Reviews

• Conversation

  (#) Maldoror 2006-05-24 04:29:34 PM

  The pacing of this short fic is great; the way we discover Gai's actions sparsed in with remembering what Jiraiya said. And the sober lack of angsty words at the end made it more effective. The restraint and Gai's simple actions are touching.
  
  There are a few typos. Delicate, not delacate, genius not genious, warrant not warrent etc.

• Conversation

  (#) babaca 2007-01-17 06:45:24 PM

  Bittersweet, but yes, like the other reviewer, your spelling needs a bit of work. Gossip and not gossup. You may want to find a beta reader for you (or make sure you have a decent spell-check program. There are nice ideas in this but a bit of tightening up makes it easier for the reader to understand what's happening. But I did like it.

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