Chapter Nine: Bargaing.Loss:
He sat at his desk, looking out the window.
He'll never look at me the way he looks at her. I understand that now. I'm not as broken up about it as I first was, but, it still hurts. Now, it's gotten sore again.
Tsuzuki risked his job—again. This time, he put a Heaven Stone inside of Kimoto-san. What the hell? How did he even…
This hurts my head. Idiot! What I would give to go back in time and stop him before this whole mess started. What was he thinking? He's essentially killed Kimoto-san now. She'll die before the month is over. Doesn't he understand that?
He hasn't listened since this case started again. All Tsuzuki thinks about is Anna. He never looks at me. I would give anything to have him notice me, just to kiss me once, just to hold me, just to hear him say, "I love you," only once.
It won't happen; she beat me there. Now, all I can do is make sure they stay happy together. She better not die on him! She'll crush him if she does. I won't forgive her if that happens.
He packs up his paperwork for the day.
I should've summoned her when I had the chance. Now it's spiraled into this. What was he thinking? Doesn't he care about his job? They let him get away with too much. When is that going to change? When will we all stop letting him off? When will he own up to his mistakes on this case?
It's not that. He's always happy around her. He comes to work smiling; not those fake smiles either. He truly is happy. He was never like that around us. I'm going to get Hotaru for this! She used a spell on me to back out of Anna's summons. That…! That…! Oooh! Just thinking about it pisses me off all over again! Wait until I get my hands on her!
Still, that's only part of my problem. The problem is me. I don't know. Tsuzuki and I haven't been that close. I know why, but she makes it worse. I don't hate Kimoto-san. It's just… She's supposed to be dead. Tsuzuki broke protocol twice to be with her. What's the point? She's just going to die soon anyway. He knows that. So why does he bother?
Who am I kidding? He really does love her; I can see it in his eyes. They aren't going to break up any time soon. I couldn't do that now even if I wanted to. It's all Hotaru's fault. No, it's not all her doing. This is all me. I can't stand Tsuzuki and Kimoto-san being together like this. But what can I do? He won't listen. Also, he isn't as intimidated of me as he used to be. He's not the Tsuzuki I loved anymore.
Unrest, bargaining, hurt, loss. The cycle will pick up from there the next time.
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