Another day gone it was now day two, to other people days wouldn’t matter but for me every minute and every second matters to me. I don’t understand why tomorrow doesn’t bother people no is really promise tomorrow but then again they know their not going to die any minute. Today was another new day for me, we were heading to Arizona we’ve been there before but this time it was going to be new for me. I wanted to go to the grand canyon to watch the sunset, I’ve always wanted to but I thought I would have a lifetime to do it funny how things never work out.
I had so little time to do everything I wanted that I really didn’t know if I could do it all. So I decided to do the things I wanted to do this most. I was going to try do 365 things to do before I do, since that’s how many days there are in a year. The most important thing was living for a year that was my number one goal or better yet beating this thing, to live longer but I knew that couldn’t happen.
I had to stay positive about this I couldn’t live the rest of my days worrying, feel sorry for myself that’s no way to live life. The hardest part of all of this was Alex; I never wanted to leave him. His the main reason I’ve made it this far, I was living for him. Without him I would have done gave up letting this thing win. Alex is my reason to live my reason to keep pushing my self every day.
I was laying on the couch looking at the bus window when I felt someone climb on top of me I look to see Alex. His been taking this harder more then I have even though he doesn’t let it show I can tell its killing him inside. At night sometimes when we’re both asleep, I can hear him cry, it breaks my heart knowing there’s nothing I can do. And other nights I can hear him pray something he has never done before, but I think his giving up on that.
“I love you, “I said while looking at him.
“I love you too, more then I can ever promise, “He replied while looking at me with a smile.
The only time he ever smiles now is when his with me the rest of the time it’s a put on smile. I’m the only one who knows the difference.
“You know I’ve always wanted to go to Grand Canyon, but ever time we’ve been to Arizona we never had time, “Alex said.
“How come you never said anything? We could have sneak up there, “I ask while looking at him.
“Because I always thought we would have life time to do it, “He said while trying not break down.
I just hug him not wanting to let go, I was never going to let him go even when I die he would always be mine.
After we played the show, Alex and I got into a van and headed to Great Canyon. I was beyond excited I’ve always heard how beautiful it was to watch the sunset. About an hour later we made it, we got out of the van and found us a place to sit. And everyone was right it was beautiful.