So, did Gerard get to the hospital on time? Will he remember what he said to Frank?
Wow, everything is so quiet here, so peaceful. For the 1st time in a long time, I felt…calm, relaxed…happy. Well, almost happy. I feel like I`m missing something, something important. Whenever I come close to figuring out what, it slips away again. I mentally shrug, I can’t be bothered to think about whatever it is too much, I was conent enough basking in the golden light.
“Gerard! Gerard please!” odd. I could have sworn I heard something. I turn around, but there is nothing there. Nothing at all apart from a grassy hill and a beautiful golden light. I shrug, I`ve always had an overactive imagination.
“Gee! Don`t die, please, you can’t leave me. I mean us.” That voice seems very familiar, but I can’t quite place it.
“Gerard, you`ll be okay, alright? He WILL be okay, won’t he?” I hear a different voice this time, it too seems familiar.
“Gee, wake the fuck up!” a 3rd voice joins the 1st two.
“Mikey, don`t swear, not here.” A girls voice this time. Mikey? The name means something to me, I know it does. I just don’t know why.
“Come back to us, please.” The 1st voice pleads with me. But I don’t want to! It was nice here, wherever here was. But the people talking sounded so upset… anyway, even if I DID want to go back, I didn`t have the faintest idea how to.
I feel a sudden stabbing pain in my chest. Fuck. What was that? And again, and again. The pain keeps coming, but I think I’m beginning to get used to it, not something I really planned on doing.
“He`s breathing! He’s breathing!” Ow, whoever you are, did you have to scream so loud? He’s breathing? Hmm…I wonder if THAT’S what the pain in my chest was…
All of a sudden the pain was gone again, almost as quickly as it had appeared. I can’t say that I missed it. The only thing was, now the voices were gone as well. That I DID miss, it gave me something to listen to.
“Gerard. Gerard Way?” in front of me stood a young child, about seven or eight. She stood there with a giant smile on her face, holding a bouquet of white and red flowers. Sprouting from her back were snowy wings that were tipped with silver. She had long pale blonde hair that was almost white and she wore a dress that fell to her pale ankles.
“A…are you a ghost?” my voice shakes.
The girl shakes her head.
She nods. “Your guardian angel.” She says while holding out her hand.
I am about to take it when I realise something.
“I`m dead, aren’t I?” odd, how before I wanted to die, and now when I was I was unsure. It was also odd how I knew this, but couldn’t remember the names of the people that had been speaking.
“Almost, you’re still breathing, but only just. It wasn’t just the blood loss and alcohol that caused this though. It was the fact that you had chosen to give up.” She looks at me sadly, like she is disappointed.
“Yeah, well.” I speak in an uncaring, almost detached voice. “People give up, kid. Sucks, eh?”
The girl, angel, whatever she was narrowed her eyes at me. They were a pale, icy blue colour, unlike anything I had seen before. The angel`s eyes were almost as beautiful as Frankie`s. ALMOST.
“Honestly, Gerard.” She shakes her head and sighs. “Sure people give up. I’ve seen it happen to a lot of people, good people, but-“
“I`m not good though.” I whisper, hanging my head in shame. Some of the things I had done…I shudder. All the lies I had told the ones I had believed. The mess I had made of my life…
“So ya made some shitty decisions. Most people do.” The girl says, shocking me. Wasn’t she supposed to be an angel?
“I am, but I’m YOUR guardian angel.” Seeing my horrified expression she continues “What did you expect? A goody two shoes who did everything by the book? Didn’t think so.”
“Well, I never really thought about it.”
“Not many do. But back to what I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted.” She gives me a quick smile, showing she wasn’t really mad at me. “I know people give up. But not you Gerard, you never gave up, why start now?”
She had a good point, but what was I supposed to do now?
“Go back to them, while you still can, Gerard. They love you, they really do.” She says, seeing my adamant look of disbelief.
Alright, I guess I could try…
My brother was dying. And I couldn’t help him, no one could. Not even the doctors at the hospital. He`d left me, already. He was supposed to be there for me, to protect me. Forever. And now he was dead. Well, nearly dead. He was fucking dead. Liar, he said he`d always be there.
Tears I hadn’t realised where building up spill out from my eyes. Seeing the disgusted look on my face, Alicia hugs me and whispers that there’s still hope, that he`s still breathing. But I know he won’t be for long. He`d given up, on me, on life, on everything and everyone. And I wanted to know why. I NEEDED to know why. We all DESERVED to know why.
“Gee,” I wipe away the damned tears. I didn’t want to cry, but it was something I had no control over.
Trying to distract myself from my brother’s nearly dead body that was lying in a hospital bed, I glance over at the others. Ray was sitting perched on a seat by the bed, in between mum and dad. Alicia still had an arm around me and she too was trying not to cry. Ray already was. The team of doctors that had tried to help had exited the room about five minutes ago. They told us they were letting us say goodbye to him. There was nothing they could do.
Lastly, I look over at Frank. The only one of us not sitting right next to the bed for he is sitting with his knees under his chin, with his arms wrapped around them, in the corner of the room. I can see his trembling slightly, though he does not cry. His eyes are rimmed with red though and are puffy. He had probably done his fair share of crying earlier. After all, he was the one who had found Gerard. He was the one who had discovered the person he loved lying in the street covered in their own blood.
I turn away from him. I can only hope he didn’t notice me staring.
“He…He`s awake!” I don’t even look up. Mum had been saying that for 20 minutes now, seeing the thing she wanted most in the world to be true, even though it wasn’t. My brother, my best friend would never open his eyes again.
A woman was leaning over me, grinning as though it was Christmas or something.
“Gerard, darling. You’re alive?!” it was partly a question, I could tell by the tone of her voice that she couldn’t believe it.
“M...mum?” I croak, throat aching.
“Gerard?!” I hear everyone scream and jump up. Well, almost everyone. Frank is standing in a corner, looking at me as though he has seen a ghost.
Just then a handful of doctors enter the room, probably wondering what the noise was all about.
“We are very sorry for your, loss but-“
“Hey, docs. I`m alive.” Ow, maybe speaking wasn’t the best idea I`d ever had.
“H...how is that possible?” one asks.
“He had lost so much blood and his head injury-”
“My head injury?!” you`d think I’d remember something like that.
“Sweetie, you must have hit your head when you blacked out.” My mother tries to calm me down.
“Which time?” I`d blacked out more than once, before Frankie found me and after I told him that I…
“Did, I say anything, before I blacked out?” I asked him, hoping he`d say no.
His facial expression changes, first from a slight smile to a sad, pained look. Then to a blank expression. “No. nothing.”
Oh, I can`t tell if I am disappointed or relieved by his answer.