Frank finds Gerard, but what kind of state does he find him in? Can he help him before it`s too late?
“Fuck `em all,” I sneer bitterly, clutching the bottle of alcohol tightly to my chest. “Like they give two shits about me.” I downed the rest of the contents, then move onto the next bottle. Sometime after, I collapse into a boneless heap in the gutter of some dingy side street.
I wake up sometime later, still clutching one of the bottles. I must have dropped the other, as it was lying next to me in tiny little pieces.
“Ow! Shit!” I had placed my right hand directly on top of a shard of glass. Mesmerised, I watch as crimson blood flows out of the cut, staining my hand. I realise that the piece of glass that cut me was still in my skin, so I pick it out, wincing slightly. This caused the flow of blood to increase.
I smile, that gave me an idea. I trace the sharp end of the glass over my other hand, up my wrist and continue to just past my elbow. My mind is so fuzzy from all the alcohol I consumed that I barley feel the sting as i open my veins.
I knew that I always told people to never hurt themselves and to love themselves, but right now I just really didn’t give a fuck.
“How pathetic am I?” my lip curls up to form a twisted smile. “I can’t even follow my own advice.” I make a cut on my other arm, deeper this time. I can feel myself getting lightheaded, but whether that was from blood loss or alcohol I didn’t know.
Another cut. My arms are a bloody mess now. The ground I am sitting on is too. The once grey pavement is now stained red with blood.
I take the glass away from my arm and up to my lips. I poke my tongue out and lick some of the blood of of it, slicing my tongue in the process.
“Fuck!” I hiss from the pain.
“Gee?” God, I really am insane, I could have sworn I just heard Frank`s voice. By now I have dropped the glass shard and collapsed back down onto the pavement. Everything hurt, my arms obviously, my head, my eyes, my tongue, everything.
“You there?” I hear the voice again, louder this time. How annoying I think. I can’t even crawl up in corner and DIE in peace. I try and move, but I just can’t find the energy.
I hear footsteps, and the voice calls my name again. “Be quiet.” I mutter, closing my heavy eyes, no longer caring if I would open them again. Chances are I wouldn’t.
“Gerard.” A person, I think it’s Frankie, gasps. I don’t know, I can’t open my eyes, I’m too exhausted and it hurt too much.
Don’t be stupid, it can’t be frank. He doesn’t give a shit about what happens to you, remember?
“We gotta get an ambulance.” I feel arms wrap round me, I try to protest, but I am too weak.
“N…no.” I feel the person carrying me pause. “Gee, you need medical help, fast.” I open my eyes slightly. It really IS Frankie.
“Unbelievable.” I mouth. I feel my eyelids closing, but this time I try to fight it.
“Stay with me Gee.” I feel him place me down on the ground.
“We need an ambulance, please. My best friend is half dead.” Frank tells the person on the other end where we are puts his phone away and comes to sit next to me.
“Open your eyes, Gee. You can’t go to sleep.” He pleads with me. I feel his arms go round me again.
“This isn’t a bad way to die I suppose." My head lolls onto his shoulder. I feel his hands brush my hair away from my eyes.
“You`re not going to die Gerard. Not today. “I hadn’t realised I had said that aloud, oh well. I knew he was wrong. I WAS going to die.
In the distance I can hear sirens, I guess it was the ambulance, but it was going to be too late by the time they got here. Since I was going to die, and I didn’t have to live with the consequences, I decided that now was the time to tell Frank. I couldn’t die without telling him how I felt, and at least this way I wouldn’t have to face him afterwards.
After many failed attempts at speaking, I succeed. “F...Frankie?” he turns and looks at me.
“Yes?” I see his eyes light up slightly when he hears my voice. But not because he cares I tell myself. He probably is just afraid about how to tell Mikey. Yeah, that’s it.
“I have to tell you something.” I can feel my body growing weaker, it was now or never.
“I….I ….l…love...you.” then the blackness consumes me, but I am not afraid, because at least if I had to die, he was with me.
“Gee?” I called out into the blackness. “You there?”
I held my breath, hoping I would hear a response. Silence- no wait! I think I heard something.
“Gee!” I scream, running towards the noise, praying that it was him and that he was alright. If he wasn’t, I knew that I wouldn’t be either.
I come to the end of the street. I see a figure lying on the ground, covered in a crimson liquid. Blood.
“Gerard!”I gasp. It was horrible. The ground was soaked in blood-HIS blood, broken bottles littered the floor and- I gasp again as I realise what those bottles would have once contained.
“We gotta get an ambulance.” I wrap my arms around him and lift him up. I carry Gerard to the end of the alley, so that we are by the main road and place him down.
I pull out my phone and dial 999.
I tell them where we are and what is wrong then put my phone away.
Please be alright, gee. I couldn’t live without you.
I sit down next to him and wrap my arms around him again, wanting to be close to him, knowing this may be my last opportunity.
I watch with a sickening feeling in my gut as his eyes close.
“Open your eyes, Gee. You can’t go to sleep.” I pull him tighter, pleading.
I watch in disbelief as he opens his mouth. The words that come out of it chill me to the bone.
“This isn’t a bad way to die I suppose.” His head lolls onto my shoulder; I can see the last of his strength and determination fading. I brush his bright red hair out of his eyes, wishing that he would open them. That way, if he was going to die, I could gaze into them one last time.
“You`re not going to die, Gerard. Not today.” I speak to try and convince myself as well as him. In all honesty I don’t know if he actually WAS going to make it through tonight. He had drunk a lot of strong alcohol, something he wasn’t used to anymore, and the gashes on his arms were very deep and still bleeding. But not heavily, I noticed. Then I remembered the pavements where I found him. They were covered. I feel as though I had been stabbed, he was bleeding so little because he was running out of blood. The man I had loved for so many years was dying slowly in front of my eyes and there was nothing I could do to save him.
In the distance I could hear sirens, I could only hope that the ambulance got here soon.
Gerard had been still for a long time now, and I was beginning to think he was gone when I heard him splutter and in a voice that was barley a whisper, speak.
“F…Frankie?” It hurt me knowing how weak he is.
“I have to tell you something.” I just nod, knowing it had to be something important that he was struggling to tell me with his- a single tear falls down my cheek- dying breaths.
“I…I ...L…love...you.” his beautiful eyes shut again, most likely for the last time. I sit there, frozen. He… he loved me? Why did he never tell me?
I begin to cry silently. If anyone has ever felt true heartbreak, you`ll know the kind of tears I’m on about. The ones when the tears fall down your face, but you make no sound because no sound in the entire universe could express the pain you feel.
“Excuse me, sir?” I look up. The ambulance had finally arrived. I get up and run over, hoping that there is still something they can do.
“Save him, please.”
“We`ll do our best, son.” More tears, I know they can do nothing. My Gerard is gone.