The police were at the school today, questioning me over and over and holding me in the counselling room pretty much all day. It was bullshit how long they had to talk to me really, especially because I had done nothing.
A guy at school was found dead on school property yesterday, he had been stabbed and everything, and because I’m into the murder stuff, they kept me there ‘on suspicion of murder’. I didn’t even know the guy! He was a fucking senior! Shooting is my thing anyway, with knifes there’s too much mess. I wouldn’t kill someone unless they deserved it...
The officers said that they were asking me all these questions because I ‘look like an outcast’ and I ‘was having my revenge’. I haven’t had my revenge yet. And by the looks of it, I don’t think I will because they’re installing new security systems and stuff. I just hope they don’t go through my locker... I’ll be in trouble then.
I was pretty disappointed though because the guy killed wasn’t mister smarty pants Alex or any of his group... If they were going to kill someone here why not him, or better yet, me?
Frank, 8 December
Note: I didn’t write about the weekend because it’s the same thing every time...
Talk around the school of the death yesterday is really pissing me off... but seeing how much people like the excitement of death and a murderer being around on the loose just makes me want to kill Alex more. I’d be the talk of the school, or maybe the whole town, who knows.
I surprisingly wasn’t beaten today, which is a first, I usually never have a free day, but I did see Gerard today with that group, but Alex was missing. Which was probably why I never got my daily dose of pain, but when I walked passed Gerard and glance up at him in case he was going to hit or throw something at me, when I did, he smiled at me and nodded his head. He didn’t hurt me, he didn’t give me some mean remark, he just smiled and nodded. I’m still picturing that smile right now...
I stopped cutting now though... I stopped after I realised how pointless and stupid it is. I just get more shit put on me, I’m open to infections which isn’t good for me and my condition and it does nothing for me anymore anyway. So I guess that’s another good thing, right?
I hope Alex isn’t in tomorrow really... I don’t fancy getting any more beatings until the rest of my injuries have healed.
Frank, 9 December
Note: Why is Gerard suddenly being... nice to me? Suspicious acts or what?