Hello and goodbye
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As Gerard got better, we both returned to school. I never liked school, I was average an average student, but I went against the crowd and they resented my differences. I was bullied for a couple of years but they obviously got bored of pummelling so now they’ve resorted to denying my existence completely. I prefer it that way; I can go about without fear.
I walked into school for the first time in a while, headphones blasting and my scuffed converse into the dry dust covering the pavement, with heavy feelings of dread filling my mind. I was sick to my stomach at the prospect of calculus and music with Frank; it had been over a month since I turned my back on his tear streaked face, closing the door behind me. Ever since then, I had relived that moment ever day, asking myself what would’ve happened if I had forgiven him. He was sorry, I knew that, and I knew he would never do it again, but it just hurt. I missed him, terribly. I would stare for hours at my phone, debating within myself if I should call him. As I turned into the school gates, my decision was made. Find Frank, talk to him, try and work it out. I hurried to home room; my decisive thoughts giving me confidence and an ache to talk to him that couldn’t be ignored. I burst through the door, ignoring the disdainful looks as I swept the room for the familiar face I yearned to see, but all I found was crushing disappointment, followed by worry when all I saw was his empty chair and sniggering jocks. I composed myself and sat down on my usual chair, trying unsuccessfully to conceal the anxious expression on my face. I passed through the day jumping whenever I glimpsed a black haired person, only to be hopelessly let down when it was not the guy I hoped to see.
After what seemed like an eternity, the last bell went and I had to restrain myself from sprinting to Frank’s house. Eventually I neared his house, but I stopped in my tracks when I took in the scene. There was a large truck outside, and men were hauling boxes from the house inside. Frank was leaving. What came next felt like a punch in the gut. He was leaving? A whimper escaped my lips when I envisioned life without him, as it had been for the past few weeks, for the rest of high school. My eyes blurred with tears as I saw him leaning up against the doorway, a blank expression on his face. I let out a sort of yelp and his head snapped round to face me. He paused for a second, in blatant shock.
We stood there like total idiots for a few moments, before Frank dropped whatever he was holding and sprinted towards me. I felt myself smiling like a total idiot as his body slammed into mine, flooring both of us so we were sprawling on the grass. My back was screaming in pain, but my thoughts drowned out all recognition of pain, or sadness, or anger. I was holding Frank, his arms wrapped tightly around me; his sent all I could smell, his laughter all I could hear.
‘Frank, I’m so sorry. I missed you, baby.’ He wrapped his arms around me tighter; he started trembling which I soon realized was sobs. My mind was still clouded with happiness it took me a while to figure out why he was crying so hard, but when I finally opened my eyes and met the sight of the removal truck still parked outside his house. Oh god... I only just got him back, literally two seconds ago, how could he be leaving?
‘Shhhhh, Frank.’ I rocked gently, trying to calm both him and myself. ‘Tell me what happened. Where are you going?’
He pulled away from me, sniffling, his hazel eyes surrounded by tear-smudged eyeliner.
‘Dad got a promotion, he got relocated to Maryland, We’re leaving in a coupla days. I wanted to call you Mikey, but I didn’t know if – if you wanted to see me, or talk to me. I’m so sorry Mikey.’ He convulsed into sobs, and I swiftly joined him. Neither of us knew what to say, or what to do, so we resorted to remaining motionless save for shaking occasionally, intertwined on the grass. I think we were making up for lost time, saying both hello and goodbye. But I wouldn’t let this be goodbye, not yet.
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After a time far too short for my liking, my mom appeared in the doorway, calling me for dinner. I sighed heavily and began to disentangle myself from Mikey. We both got up slowly, stretching out our stiff limbs and wiping our damp cheeks.
‘I’ll see you tomorrow, text me.’ I stated, surprised how hoarse my voice was
‘Of course honey, see you later.’ He moved closer towards me and I closed my eyes, feeling his cool lips on my forehead. I smiled to myself, and opened my eyes again to catch a glimpse of his face. Instead all I saw was a deserted sidewalk. With the absence of his warmth the air was freezing, I shivered, and gazed in the direction he must have left in. I felt so vulnerable, alone on the sidewalk. I sighed heavily and trudged over the grass to my front door.