Back to school
I trudged to school though the sheet of rain on Monday morning, feeling hollow. The headphones shoved in my ears drowned out all sounds, but they failed to mute my thoughts. Anthrax – Among The Living blasted through me, allowing me to loose myself in the beat as I entered school. I felt like I wasn’t even there, I didn’t feel the rain soaking me, or see the bleary grey school ahead. I was in the park with Frank, the sun baking our faces as we sat on the swings, laughing. Reliving the moment, I barely noticed that I was knocking into people, until I collided with Brent which wrenched my headphone from it’s position.
‘Watch where you’re going, douchebag!’ he growled, shoving me into the lockers, leaving a searing pain in my back. He charged off down the hall, and I hurried to homeroom. I swung though the doors just as the bell went, and silently slipped into my usual seat, ignoring the painfully empty space next to me, which would normally occupy Frank’s figure. Mr Martin still hadn’t appeared, so everyone was scattered around the room in their groups, chatting mindlessly about stupid things that only they cared about. I stuck my headphones back in and phased out into my thoughts until I couldn’t hear the world around me.
Five minutes passed undisturbed until my headphones were yanked out, and I opened my eyes (although I don’t remember closing them) to see Lewis perched on my table, a mocking smile on his smug face.
‘Alright there fag face?’ He grunted, his followers clustered behind him sniggering. I felt my face flush and I bit my lip nervously, sick rising in my stomach. ‘Where’s your bitch? Frank was her name, right?’ The immature joke sent his clones into fits of laughter, catching the attention of my classmates.
‘He moved to Maryland.’ I answered, trying to keep my voice even.
‘Really? That keen to get away from your fuck ugly face he moved 200 miles away? You must be a crap fuck then Mickey.’ Half the class were red with silent laughter, and tears stung in my eyes. But I wouldn’t cry, they didn’t deserve the satisfaction of knowing how much their words hurt.
‘Shut the fuck up Lewis, go shove your excuse for a face in someone who actually gives a shit as to what you think.’ I said the words quickly, surprising myself at how easy they flew out of my mouth.
Lewis’ face turned red and flustered in anger, and the class turned silent in shock, anticipating his reaction. In a blur, i found myself sprawled on the floor, Lewis standing over me and gasps of disbelief as he kicked me hard in the ribs. Pain blossomed through my chest, making me cry out in it’s intensity. I screwed my eyes closed, gripping onto my torso, trying to shield it as more kicks rained down on me. I felt his breath near my cheek as he whispered to me, flecks of spit spraying as he spoke.
‘I’m going to make your life hell you fucking fag, I’m not even getting started yet.’ I heard him stumble to his feet and I slowly followed, grimacing at the pain stabbing into my chest. I didn’t even glance at the sniggering faces, I grabbed my bag which was hiding beneath my upturned chair, and practically sprinted out of the door..
I didn’t stop walking until I got to the boys bathroom, which was thankfully deserted. I washed my face in one of the cleaner basins and leant against a wall, taking deep breaths. I began to sob silently, and slip to the floor clutching my bruised body.
After a few moments, I got up with difficulty and dried my eyes on the cheap paper towels. Glancing in the mirror and re-ordering my hair into some kind of style. I fished my ipod out of my pockets and walked out of the dank toilets. I walked straight past homeroom, my vans squeaking on the linoleum floor as I exited the school.
I kept my head held high walking down my street, and didn’t pause until I got through my front door. Gerard was eating Krave cereal, cross legged, watching MTV. He glanced up in surprise as I slammed the door and kicked off my shoes, but didn’t speak until I flopped down on the floor leaning against our battered couch.
‘Mikes, what happened?’ His voice was oozing with concern, and he began to stroke my hair comfortingly.
‘I knew it, Gee, I knew it.’ My voice breaking slightly
‘Knew what, Mikes?’ Gee asked, confused. I sighed and twisted round to look at him
‘I knew I wouldn’t survive this school without Frank.’
~ ~ ~ LATER ~ ~ ~ ~
After talking to Gee for a while, I left him infront of the tv and settled myself infront of my laptop, leaning against my wall, nodding along to smashing pumpkins. I quickly logged onto msn and sighed in relief when it revealed Frank as online. I clicked on his name and began our converstation.
MikeyFuckinWay says: Hey Frankie!
Iero says: Hey Mikes
MikeyFuckinWay says: How’s Maryland?
Iero says: It’s a thriller, I’m having the time of my life.
Iero says: How was your first day without me?
I began typing, my eyes misting. It was horrible, I only manage to cope with homeroom before going home. It was hard enough, but Lewis started again.. He yelled at me, Frankie. He pushed me on the floor and kicked me. I’m terrified without you, I feel so alone. I need you to come back Frank, I need you.
I re-read what I typed, and letter-by-letter began deleting it, until I was left with a blank screen. I rubbed my eyes and quickly replied.
MikeyFuckinWay says: Ugh, it was so boring. Science was murder, lol (:
We continued our conversation until midnight, when Frank left and I threw my laptop on the floor and curled into the foetal position on my bed in the darkness, still fully clothed.
I was so alone.