Gee stayed snuggled up to me for a while. His breathing reaching the skin beneath my shirt and making me tremble with anticipation. My arm was slung over his shoulders and i could feel him looking at my tattoos. "There's so many." he said, a slight tone of awe in his angelic voice.
"Yeah." I laughed nervously."I have a thing for body art. It kind of tells a story."
"Well clearly you're from New Jersey" He laughed. "And you like handsome men on your body." He smiled looking at the tattooed portrait of my amazing grandfather.
I heard a sudden snort of laughter from Mikey, " Yeah, that's one thing you and Gee have in common." He giggled.
"Shut up Mikey! Or i'll tell everyone your little secret about your first time with Alicia." Gerard replied a smile creeping upon his lips, recieveing the stare of death from his little brother.
" This is my grandpa, he is rather handsome. Best guy i've ever known." I explain, Ray nodding in agreement as he watched Mikey on his PSP.
"Hey guys, I'm gonna grab us some drinks. Could i have some help please?" Ray asked standing up and stretching.
"I'll come." Mikey said still glaring at Gerard over his rather intriguing threat. I'm not going to lie, i wanted to know his little secret!
An awkward yet comfortable silence cast itself upon me and Gerard and neither of us knew what to say. I racked my brains desperately trying to find a conversation starter. How often do we get to be alone? Never.
"You...have.. a very soft head, Gerard. It's....like a birthday cake." I find myself verbally vomiting all over myself. What the fuck did i say that for? Why didn't i just ask if he was okay?!
"Ermm... thanks...i think." He replied chuckling nervously.
I decided on staying silent to prevent any more awkwardness or make an even bigger fool of myself than i already had. Gerard saved us from the silence this time. He sat up and left the comfort of my chest, i missed him after a few seconds.
" Frank, tell me about yourself. We've only just met and stuff but i'd like to get to know you. It'd be great if we could all be friends. We can hang out and stuff." He smiled looking into my eyes again. Compared to his eyes, even someone such as Audrey Hepburn could look hideous. And lets face it, that girl was hot!
" Well, I live here with Ray now and i moved to Ashtillen and I love guitars and i actually play one. I love to cover myself in tattoo's and coffee is one of my favourite things." I tell him.
" Wow! I thought you were just visiting! So you actually live here? Since when? And why? Doesn't your mother want you or something." He laughed shoving my shoulder playfully.
" Well.... i moved in 2 days ago because Bett is my Aunt and her sister..... my mom.... passed away." I say my eyes filling with tears.
" Shit! I'm so sorry Frank. I didn't mean... she loved you, you know.... she couldnt possibly not have." He said, his eyes widening at the last part of his sentence. He looked right at me and put his delicate, pale around my neck, wrapping me up and breathing me in, our cheeks brushing. His skin so soft, almost like an ocean of calm and content washing right over me.
What the fuck did i say that for?! I curse myself silently. "She couldnt possibly not have." God, why do all the best guys and the ones i happen to fall for have to be straight or too good for me. This had been heavy on my thoughts since our meeting earlier. It had hurt me so deeply that i needed to get the emotion out and so like the weak pathetic excuse of a person i am i gave in. Drugs and Alcohol had taken it over before but now the cutting was back. A tally chart on my wrist for all the pain i was feeling.
Eventually, after what felt like forever frank and i broke our embrace. But his eyes were wide with terror. The tears that had once left those breathtakingly beautiful captivating eyes of his had now been refilled with more pain and anger in them this time. Without a word he grabbed my wrist and yanked the sleeve of my hoody up to my elbow. My cuts on full, open display. "Gerard!" He whispered gently stroking the cuts. I expected them to sting like my eyes were as they began to well up but with his feather like touch it was almost comforting to me. I lost all self control right there and started to cry. " Frank, they're nothing. They're just some cuts from when i fell the other day." I tried to conceal the truth that had so quickly exploded.
"Gerard, i know they've been done deliberately. Why are you hurting so much? Please talk to me Gee, I want to help you. We'll be friends like we planned." Frank said resting his head on my shoulder and knotting his arms around my waist. "I..can..not..t....t..tell you frank." I breathed out between tears. His grip on me tightened and his soft lips came to my ear. "You can tell me anything okay? I'll be right here for you, Gee. I'll never tell a soul, i promise you." He said and although the pain still made me ache, i believed him.
"Frankie, you'll hate me." I say, my cries slowly but surely seizing now.
" Gee, even if you'd done the worst thing in the world, I could never hate you. I barely know you but i do like you. You're kind and funny and your emotionally challenged like me." he laughed making me do the same.
" Frankie please-" He cut me off, this time with his lips firmly on mine. I was taken aback, in total shock.
He let go off me and edged away from me, "Fuck Gee, im so sorry." He said.
"I'll go, im so so sorry" He said heading for the door. I grabbed his hand and pulled him back to me, hugging him tighter.
"Frank..... I was sad because.... I think after only a few hours..... i've fallen for you." I say, his coconut scented hair tickling my nostrils. Today had suddenly just got a lot better, i just hoped he felt the same.
Yay for frerard! I love LynZ and Jamia but Frerards just a guilty pleasure of mine! A mindless self indulgence? Yes indeed! :) Thankyou for reading lovelys! xx