As horrible as I sound crazy is a understatement
The constant shaking and shuddering beneath me was a constant reminder that Gerard was still alive. Still breathing here with me. He was sweating and trembling violently, his red bangs sticking to his forehead. I wondered if he could even hear my (hopefully) comforting words. The paramedic's had got us out from under the stage before whisking Gee off to bandage his wounds. He had viscous scratch marks all over his back that just wouldn't stop bleeding. They looked self inflicted. I didn't voice my opinions at the time but i could tell everyone was thinking the same thing. I must have gone into some sort of shock, the next thing i remember was watching Mikey clutch his brothers hand; crying his eyes out. Ray was on the phone to Jeff telling what had happened, what we knew anyway. I was frozen watching Gerard's body writhing on the couch he had been laid down on back stage. His face contorting in pain. Mikey was inconsolable he just kept blaming himself, muttering under his breath what a bad brother he was. It was useless arguing with him when he was like this, so i let myself collapse into a chair on the far side of the room. I was still damp and sticky with blood. Gerard's blood. The thought alone was enough to make me sick. We had unanimously decided that we should take Gee to a nearby hotel. With the news that the show had been cancelled, the press were swarming outside trying to get any scrap of news. I guess we would have to release a statement sooner or later. Saying what? What happened in that dark basement leaving my best friend a hollow shell...more than before.
He was shivering in my arms, despite being overheated and sweating. I tried to calm him as he balled the sheets in his fists attempting to outlast this wave of pain that had engulfed him. The blood had soaked through the once white shirt he was wearing, leaving damp crimson blotches. Mikey (accompanied by Pedicone lest he had some sort of meltdown) had gone to grab more medical supplies, while Ray had flown out to Wisconsin to break the news to Lyn-z that Gerard had gone crazy. As horrible as I sound crazy is a understatement. Lets back track a little...i found him after he ran off 5 minutes before a show, he locked himself at the bottom of a pitch black basement, he was covered in self inflicted gashes. Now he was trembling in my arms, rocking back and forth mumbling so quietly i couldn't hear what he was saying. What was i suppose to think? It had been like this for about 20 minutes now, yet i was still unsure when it started. Probably more of a gradual thing, from shaking to full blown crying and quaking.
''Gee, shhh please stop crying'' For a brief second he made eye contact with me and froze. His face was blank and expressionless before he slowly started rocking again.
''Gerard'' I said now in more hushed tones, maybe i could get through to him.
''F-rank-ie he's g-gonna get me F-Frank''
''Who sugar?'' I whispered as quietly as Gerard had, i didn't want to scare him.
''I-I..c-can't...he'' Gerard gasped out through tears. I didn't understand.
''Gerard you can tell me anything, you know that. I said we would get through this together'' I said looking him dead in the eyes. He was truly scaring me now, but i kept my composure and tried to be of some comfort. I had to.
Gerard stopped trembling very abruptly. I flinched a little it was so sudden.
''He'll find me Frank, i'll never get away'' He was speaking clearly now. As if he had changed somehow, like a switch of something.
''Who Gerard?'' I was really confused now.
''He's always there at the back of my mind ready to pounce, he could take me over at anytime'' His voice wavered when said that last bit.
''Gee, i'll always be here to protect you'' What else could i say. I put my hand on his shoulder uncertainly.
Gerard turned to look at me sharply. His eyes now like daggers, and his stare icy cold. I retracted my hand, in case i had unintentionally hurt him. But it took less than a second to realize that was not it. Gerard's eyes were empty black pools, void of feeling glaring at me.
''You can't protect me from myself''
i'm just gonna promote some stuff so here goes :
My friend recently joined the MCRmy of ficwad so please look at her story, not just cos she's my friend but because she's a excellent writer as well (at school she's in the 'genius' class so i can guarantee anything she writes is pure gold). -> http://www.ficwad.com/author/122899 She has a amazing killjoy fic at the mo :)
Anyone looking for a good 'Panic! at the disco' fic -> http://www.ficwad.com/story/151941 by the amazing author Wicked_Lovely she's seriously like fantastic :D warning this story is full of angst...like a lot.