Gerard is slipping away. Frank is feeling a bit paranoid.
Gerard would not stop crying for a while. Frank tried to be patient with him. It wouldn't do him much good to force something out of him yet again. Finally Gerard spoke, but it was hardly a confession of his inner most secrets.
"I thought I told you to get out." Gerard growled at him.
Gerard was right. Frank had been asked to leave. And by all means, he should leave. He had just hurt Gerard terribly. Yet there was something Frank could not get past.
"Gerard..." he pressed. "Did someone rape you?"
Gerard was quiet, but the shamed look on his face told him everything he needed to know. For the second time that night, Frank found himself overwhelmed in his emotions --- now furious instead of lustful. Frank had to resist the urge to smash all the breakable furniture in the room.
Trying to control himself, he took a few deep breaths. He tried to silence the beast inside that was trying to taunt him into attack, taunting him by growling lowly in his mind...
'They touched him...'
'They hurt him...'
Quiet, Frank told himself, you don't want to do anything that might scare Gerard again. Show him that he doesn't have to be afraid of you. As quietly and slowly as he could, he leaned over to Gerard. He placed a hand lightly and slowly on him, but he still flinched away. Frank tried again and the second time, Gerard did not flinch. But he was rigid again. Frank could hear him breathing unevenly.
"Who?" Frank asked softly, and he knew Gerard knew what he meant. He wanted to identify the bastards who did this so he could rip them to shreds.
"I... I can't... I can't...they'll come back for me...I can't..." Gerard rocked back and forth, looking miserable.
"Gerard sweetie, yes you can. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You need to tell me."
"Why? You just want to hurt me too..."
"That isn't true."
"Then why did you?"
Gerard looked him dead in the eyes as he said it. Frank could see the hurt and mistrust in them. Frank felt terrible for what he had done to Gerard. But his anger at Gerard's rapist was stronger. He would need to get the information out of him if he wanted to go after them -- which he was dying to do.
'Two wrongs don't make a right...'
Still, he doubted he'd be able to get anything out of Gerard tonight. Not after what just happened. Not after Frank had ruined everything.
Sighing, he came to a conclusion.
"I'm sorry." was all he said in an answer to Gerard's question. He kissed him on the forehead lightly, got off the bed, and left the room.
He would just have to tackle this another time.
In the days that followed, Frank watched Gerard closely. He wondered if perhaps Gerard would tell Mikey or Ray what had transpired. Frank knew if Mikey found out he had sexually violated his brother, Mikey would literally slaughter him. Ray would not be too pleased about it either. Hell, Frank would possibly risk being kicked out of the band.
However nothing transpired. Mikey and Ray both interacted with him like normal, and Mikey continued to give Gerard the cold shoulder. If only Mikey knew what Frank had just learned. Frank was tempted to just tell Mikey, even if it meant turning the younger Way's anger onto him. The fact was that it hurt to see brothers as close as Mikey and Gerard fighting, and Gerard probably needed Mikey the most right now. And if Mikey knew, Frank was sure he'd be at his side instantly, comforting and consoling him.
Still, it was clear that Frank had barely scratched the surface as to what secrets Gerard had been keeping. And if he wanted Gerard's trust back, spilling his secrets and talking about him behind his back was not the way to go.
Gerard's warning of "they'll come back for me" kept echoing in his mind. Who was "they"? And were they really out to get Gerard? Frank kept an extra eye out for anyone who even got near Gerard in the week to follow. Paranoia grew inside him like a bad weed. Everyone other than Mikey and Ray were the enemies.
Frank knew he would never be able to shake this unless he got his hands on Gerard's attacker. Yet for that, he needed Gerard's help.
Unfortunately, Gerard himself had begun to completely avoid him all together, which was making keeping an eye out for him extremely difficult. Gerard was also being ignored by an oblivious Mikey and he barely spoke to Ray. Frank was watching him become more and more secluded. Which for any rape victim, and for just Gerard Way in general, was not good.
Meanwhile, he maintained constant contact with Bert. Gerard was placing his faith and trust more and more with him. Frank could not possibly see this as a good thing. Despite Gerard's assurance that Bert had been good to him, Frank still felt as though Bert had ulterior motives.
Frank felt like if he did not regain Gerard's trust and take action fast, they could lose him all together. To what, Frank wasn't sure. But he didn't intend on finding out.
Next chapter: Whose protecting whom?