Brendon practically jumped into Ryan’s lap as the first firework exploded in the sky. Ryan giggled and wrapped his arms around Brendon’s waist.
“Did the big, bad firework scare wittle Bwenny?” he mumbled into Brendon’s neck. Brendon pouted and nodded. “I won’t let them get you, babe,” Ryan promised quietly.
Brendon smiled and nestled back against Ryan, watching the fireworks with a child-like glee. Ryan giggled, nestling his chin into the crook of Brendon’s shoulder as he watched. Brendon would occasionally gasp in awe, and Ryan couldn’t help but be amused by him. He really was such a child sometimes.
Brendon was getting bored. He didn’t want to be watching these fireworks anymore. Sure, they were beautiful. But there was something far more beautiful sitting directly behind him. He thought for a moment, pondering the situation. He didn’t want to be too blunt. No, he needed to think of something clever. Then he grinned wickedly. He leaned back into Ryan, twisting his head back to put his lips to Ryan’s ear.
“It’s undeniable,” he whispered.
Ryan glanced down at him for a moment before looking back up at the fireworks, mesmerized.
“What is, B-don?”
“I’ve got this…. Desire.”
That got Ryan’s attention. His gaze snapped down to Brendon, who just grinned.
“Yea? What kind of…. Desire?”
“It’s…. insatiable,” he said, the smirk on his lips growing wider.
“Brendon. What kind of desire?” he asked, his voice getting husky.
“I’ve got an insatiable desire…. For your insides.”
He saw Ryan gulp, his lips parting slightly.
“I want to pull against your body tonight.”
Ryan pushed Brendon off of him abruptly, grabbing his hand and pulling him up from the grass. Another firework exploded and Brendon could see it reflecting in Ryan’s eyes as he gazed up at him. It was beautiful. His eyes looked alive as they sparkled, the bright colors spinning in his irises. It was like watching Kaleidoscope. Then it fizzled away, and he allowed Ryan to haul him to his feet. Ryan intertwined his long fingers with Brendon’s smaller ones, bounding forward and pulling Brendon with him. Brendon grinned at Ryan’s… enthusiasm to his suggestions. Ryan shoved him forcefully up the steps of the bus, wrenching the door open and barely letting it slam shut before he practically threw Brendon against one of the walls, his mouth attached to Brendon’s.
Brendon felt Ryan’s nimble fingers tugging at his clothing and after Ryan had removed and causally thrown Brendon’s shirt over his shoulder, he could feel the panic attack beginning to set in. He kissed Ryan back for another long moment, and then pulled away. Ryan let out a soft whimper. “Brendon.”
Brendon felt his heart give a sharp squeeze at the sound, as if it had never heard a better sound, but it was painful to hear at the same time. He let out a little laugh. “Go to your room. I’ll be right there, Ry.” He planted another lingering kiss on Ryan’s lips and then gently pushed Ryan away. He watched as Ryan disappeared into his room.
Brendon walked into the bathroom, taking care to lock the door behind him. He braced himself against the counter, head dangling above the sink. He couldn’t do this. This would only make it hurt more, and make it worse for both of them. But he wanted it so bad. God, how he wanted this, because God knew when this would be happening again. He let out a long sigh and looked up at his reflection.
“Come on, you can do this. You’re so- Come on. Don’t get… Don’t get yourself down. You just have to… pace yourself. Pace yourself,” he whispered to himself as a sort of “pep talk.” He realized how ridiculous that sounded. How this situation was. And he started laughing. And laughing. Maniacal laughter, pouring from his mouth. It was just so damn funny how messed up all this was. He let out a high pitched “HA!” and then quickly clapped a hand over his mouth, hoping Ryan hadn’t heard. He waited for a moment, listening for the tell-tale signs of Ryan coming to check on him, but it remained quiet. He let out a relieved sigh, and then looked at himself in the mirror again. “Go,” he commanded himself.
He turned, pulling off his dark jeans as he did so, and then opened the door. He stood in the doorway for a moment, tightly gripping the frame. He took another deep breath. The image of Ryan lying on his bed, his clothing discarded on the floor, popped into his head, and Brendon smiled, the love, lust and want at last taking over. And so, he entered the bedroom.