Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > We'll Love Again, We'll Laugh Again, We'll Cry Again, and We'll Dance Again1 Reviews
Paige trys to find comfort in her mother, but finds something else. Gerard gets a unexpected phone call that changes his plans.
Chapter 5: And If I Had the Guts to Put This to Your Head
I couldn’t believe they all hid this from me. I ran out of the Way house in disbelief, I jumped into my explorer and floored it home. I didn’t care if I got pulled over or in a wreck. I just needed to get home, talk to someone. But who could I really talk to? All my friends had lied to me, they’ve been lying to me for three months, even Lindsay my best friend. I pulled into my driveway and pulled the keys out of the ignition. I didn’t get out of the car, I couldn’t move. I was numb, shocked, I rested my face on the steering wheel and just cried, and cried. I guess my mom noticed my car in the driveway and saw I wasn’t in the house, so my sobs were interrupted by her tapping on my window.
“Sweetie, what’s wrong? Open up.” she said surprisingly caring as she gently knocked on the window.
I unlocked the doors and she went around and got into the passenger side, letting in a gust of cold air.
“What’s wrong?” she asked again leaning forward, and comfortingly rubbing my back, like she used to do when I was child. My mom and I weren’t all that affectionate with each other ever, so I didn’t know whether to feel safe or uncomfortable. But I’d rather her be like this, then yelling at me, so I just went with it.
“Ge--r--ard.” I said through my sobs.
“Oh dear. I know it’s hard to deal with, but its good to let it out.” she said understandingly.
“No, it’s not about him being dead.” I stopped crying enough to look at her and say that.
“Well then what’s it about?” she asked, looking at me perplexed with her green eyes.
I wiped the tears away from my eyes and looked into her eyes again.
“Mom…Gerard’s alive.” I said, not quite sure I even believed it myself, but I knew it was true.
“What? Honey, have you been doing drugs? Gerard is dead, you know that.” She reassured me, not that its something I wanted reassured.
“No he’s alive. Mikey told me today. Everyone has been lying to me. Lindsay, Ray, Frank, Bob, Mikey, ALL OF THEM.” I yelled out, and the tears started flowing again.
I looked back up and noticed my mom and taken her hand off my back and was looking out her passenger window, not wanting to make eye contact with me. Suddenly it hit me.
“Oh my god.” I muttered underneath my breath.
“What?” My asked as she started fidgeting.
“You knew. You knew, just like everyone else you lied to me.” I said with anger building up in my voice.
“What that’s absurd.” she said a little offended.
“Mom don’t fucking lie to me anymore than you already have!” I yelled at her. “Look at me and tell me the truth.” I tried to calm my voice down but it didn’t work all that much.
“Fine, I knew. But it was the only way to keep from going out and hunting him down. Which means that crazy woman would have been after you. I didn’t want to lose my daughter.” She pleaded with me to try and see her side.
“Get the fuck out of my car.” I said calmly yet dangerously.
My mom didn’t argue, she just opened the door and walked sluggishly back to the house. I had no idea where to go. So I did the only thing I thought would help when I was pissed, went to Starbucks and smoked a fuck ton of cigarettes.
Yup she was right where I thought she would be, sitting at a table outside of Starbucks smoking away. I didn’t know what I was going to say, I felt horrible about lying to her, but I knew that I had to try and at least explain myself. I buttoned up my black pea coat and pulled my hair out of it and braced myself for whatever was going to happen.
“Hey.” I said shamefully as I sat down across from Paige.
She didn’t say anything; she just blew smoke in my face. From the menacing look in her eyes I know she had done it on purpose.
“Well I guess I deserved that.” I sighed.
“You guess. You deserve way much more than that.” she said coldly.
“I was just doing what Gerard said okay! I didn’t know it was going to go on this long!” I felt my voice raise itself, and Paige looked appalled.
“But you just decided oh coool let me lie to my best friend.” she said sarcastically.
“Paige, I was going to tell you I swear--”
“WHEN!” she belted as she got up and flipped the table, her face was red and her eyes were filled with a fire. “Because everyone just seems to think this was perfectly fine to keep from me.” she looked around at all the people staring at her, she knew she had embarrassed herself, but she calmed herself down and just down, I picked up the table and just acted like nothing had happened.
“You know what, I am not going to try and convince you that we did what we all thought was best for you. In the long run you would have thanked us. Oh and we aren’t the only who keeps secrets.” I narrowed my eyes in on her, and she immediately looked away.
“What are you talking about?” she stuttered.
“Don’t pull that fucking bullshit with me, you know exactly what I am talking about. But in case you forgot, when were you gonna tell me you were dating someone.” I said just as coldly as she had sounded before.
“Lindsay…” she sighed.
“Yeah exactly, you know we may have kept this from you. But we had good intentions. You just wanted to keep something from us. Which in my book is worse. We’re supposed to trust each other.” I said.
“Yeah we are.” she sighed.
“I’m sorry okay, maybe I should have told you about. But you should have told me what you were hiding as well.” I finally calmed myself down.
“Yeah you’re right, and thanks. I really don’t wanna fight. I’m just hurt; I really thought he was dead. I cried almost everyday.” She pulled out another cigarette and lit it up.
“How many?” I asked her.
“How many what?” she retorted.
I nodded my head up at the cigarettes and she just laughed.
“Not right now. I kinda need to chill out. Unless you want me to flip another table.” she looked at me.
“Okay okay. But you need to get yourself together, we can’t have you looking a mess when Gerard does come back, which will be soon.” I mumbled the last part.
“What? He’s coming back…soon” I watched her face, and I could tell her heart had just dropped.
“Yeah, I don’t know exactly when but...yeah.” I looked down at the floor and took a cigarette out myself.
“Okay, well at least he isn’t dead.” she tried to be optimistic.
“Oh and...He knows about Jared…” I blurted out again.
“What!” she choked on her smoke and started coughing rapidly.
“Yeah Mikey told him on the phone earlier. But he said he understands. I mean you did think he was dead.” I said.
“Well.” was the only thing Paige could get out.
“Well incase you are forgetting we still have to get Frankie’s surprise party together and its tomorrow!” I laughed.
“Oh gosh we are terrible.” she managed to smile.
“Yeah but we’ll get it done. I’ll call everyone up just tell them to go to Frankie’s. I’ll take him out for the day, and Bob can get beer somehow. That Indian guy at the Shell Station thinks he’s like thirty haha, so we’ll be okay. Just be there at 9.” I explained to her, I knew it wouldn’t be that hard.
“All right, I’ll be there!” she said sounding happy.
“Good! But I gotta go get in touch with everyone, and also let them know you don’t wanna kill them.” I said humorously as I got up from the table.
I think we all needed tomorrow, we need fun. All of us haven’t had fun in awhile. I just hope fun is actually something that will work out this time.
Ah fuck. What the hell I am gonna do when I get back. I riffled through my draws yanking out my clothes. Trying to pack up the life I had just started building here. I saw my black duffel bag in the corner and walked over and placed it on the bed.
“Well well my friend looks like you’re gonna get some action sooner than I expected. I really did like our home though. You had a lot of space in that closet.” I said as I threw my clothes into the duffel.
“Great Gerard, now on top of talking to yourself, you’re now talking to your duffel bag. I really am going crazy.” I sighed as I pushed my hands through my hair. Grasping it at the seams.
I was leaving for Belleville tomorrow morning and Mikey said he was just gonna take me to Frank’s party. He figured it would be a great surprise for Frank, I suppose he was right, but I figured it might be bittersweet. I did miss Frank a lot though, I really liked the feeling of towering over him, and it made me feel superior. But I just missed spending time with him, and all the other guys. Just hanging out, reading comics, playing Xbox, and most of all drinking. Even though I knew when I get back I had other shit to deal with, but for a minute I just want it to feel like me coming home from college or something. I laid down on my queen sized bed and just rested my head. I wasn’t ready for what was about to go down, but over all I was really happy to be going home.
Ring ring ring
I didn’t recognize the number, but I figured it was Mikey or something because no one else but my friends had my new number so I picked it up.
“Gerard Way on the line, what can I do for you today?” I said surprisingly cheerfully.
“Hey baby.” My heart stopped it couldn’t be.
“Fuck, no.” I mumbled in shock, as I jumped up from my bed.
“Awh, you aren’t happy to hear from me.” the cold voice pouted from the other end.
“You are the last fucking person I want to talk to Rebecca.” I said cruelly.
“Well that’s not fair pookie.” she said carelessly.
“FUCK YOU. You tried to fucking kill me.” I yelled through the phone.
“Hey now, I was trying to kill that bitch that was keeping us apart. But you had to get in the way.” she sounded almost demonic.
“FUCK YOU!” I roared through my apartment.
“NO FUCK YOU. I know you are back Gerard Way, and I will finish what I started.” she yelled, and then the phone clicked off.
I threw my phone on the bed; I could feel my hands shaking. I didn’t know what to do; I couldn’t just run away from this.
I ran over to my bed and picked up my phone and called Mikey.
“Mikey I am coming back tonight.”
“Wait what? Why?” he panicked.
“I’ll tell when I get there just be ready.” I hung up the phone.
I grabbed my duffel and my keys and was ready to go and remembered I needed to pack one more thing. I walked back into my bed room, and knelt to the ground. I reached under my bed searching for a box. I when I felt the box I slid it out from underneath the bed and opened it up to reveal the black pistol inside. I place it back in the box and threw it in my duffel. I was going to face this head on.
Ring ring ring
“Hello. Oh its you hi.” I recognized the voice immediately, and I felt the room around me freeze.
“So my darling is everything going as planned?” the cold voice spoke smoothly through the phone.
“Yes, everything is going just like you planned.” I replied.
“Mmm, that’s good.” I heard her turn into a slight sexual moan, “I’ll see you soon babe.”
“I like the sound of that.” I smirked into the phone, and heard the click of the hang up.