Revelation. Scars. Stars.
Suddenly, he kissed me. He trailed kisses down my neck. Damn him. He knew that was one of my weaknesses. I felt him unclipping my suspenders and tugging at my shirt. I knew what he wanted so I helped out. I raised my arms and he peeled it off of me like a second skin. The rest of my clothing followed suit, with sweet and tender kisses along the way. As he removed my boots and stockings, he even kissed my feet. Gerard looked at me humbly as he did this. It was so strange to me but it gave me such a sense of warmth. His look changed from humble to hungry in an instant, making me smile at his sexy little smart ass smirk that I loved so much. Gerard kissed a path up my leg and thigh, stopping at my hip bone to administer a teasing nibble. It drove me insane and I couldn’t help but gasp. He looked up at me with a Cheshire grin, knowing the very effect he had on me. I didn’t want to admit it, but this kind of surrender was oh so sweet. He took me by the hand and rose up to lead me on to the bathtub stairs. I walked up and in, Gerard guiding my every step. Besides the fact that I was completely naked, I felt like a princess. I submerged myself into the water. It felt so divine. It was perfectly warm and it smelled soo good. I waited patiently for him to join me. Gerard removed the black silk robe; my mind committed this to memory. Force of lust compelled me to drink in the sight of him. I wanted to memorize every part of him. Inside and out; until I didn’t know where I stopped and he began. He stepped into the water and sat to face me and smiled.
“Don’t be shy, darlin’. Get over here.”
I obliged happily, making my way over to him and nestling myself between his legs. It wasn’t sexual, it was loving. Like that part of our relationship didn’t matter at the moment. Somehow, I knew it would at one time tonight. I didn’t ponder on it too much. I simply enjoyed it for what it was. For the lack of a better term, I guess you could say it was “quality time” with him. I slinked back a little leaning on his chest and shoulders and he held me chastely by the waist. He kissed my head before a sentence escaped his beautiful lips.
“Tell me how you managed to know nothing about my brother dating your roommate, hmm?”
“I don’t exactly know myself. We’re best friends but she had always been very picky about what to disclose to me about the guys she dated. Some bullshit about how she always thought and feared they’d choose me if they saw me, like I was some gorgeous supermodel or something.” I laughed to myself.
“Supermodel you may not be, but gorgeous you are.”
“Pfft. You sound like Yoda.”
“Oh be quiet, before I make different use of that purty mouth of yours.” He joked lustily in my ear.
“Mhmm, we’ll see about that one mister.”
“So, had you even met any of Alicia’s boyfriends?”
“A couple, but they were shy around me. Didn’t talk much. Then she stopped bringing them around the apartment.”
“And what did she tell you about Mikes?” he played with the bubbles around me as he spoke.
“Just that he was an over the road musician and he traveled a lot.”
“Well at least she didn’t lie to you. Truth is, I’ve known her for a long time. I introduced her to my brother. We had a community art class together when we were younger. We were sixteen. My Ma was always late picking me up afterwards, so she always hung around to make sure I made it home. Mikey always tagged along in the car, so he always saw her. A few months into it, he finally mustered up the courage to tell me that he really wanted to meet her. He had the hugest crush on her. Trying to be a good big brother, I brought him to class one day. They instantly hit it off. One day she actually came home to hang out with us. It became a regular thing. Then Alicia’s parents had been relocated to another city about three hours away from where we lived. She had to move and poor Mikes was crushed. He didn’t even so much as look at another girl until he hit his junior year in high school. Even then it was short lived. She moved back the year she turned twenty one and tried to look me up. Little did I know she went to school for music industry management. I was still in the same place trying to get the band off the ground. I got a call from her out of the blue. I immediately told her to come over. Surprised the living hell out of Mikey. Poor bastard damn near cried he was so happy to see her Hell. They both got all misty eyed”, He laughed. I could tell it was that of reminiscence.
Listening to his story I was amazed. Since I had met Alicia, I had been indirectly connected to Gerard and Mikey this whole time. I had met Alicia in college. We were both going for something in the entertainment business. I was attending to become a screenwriter; she was going for music management. I was curious about music management too; so I took up a class by late entry and Alicia was in it as well. My first day, I was totally lost and she must have sensed it. Alicia was nice enough to sit by me my second class and she dumbed down the lesson for me. We got to talking and it turned out we had a lot in common so we just were friends from then on. We made it a habit to hang out at the local coffee joint and go over notes and homework together. Before I knew it, two years had gone by. I had changed my major to music management and Alicia and I were best friends in the same graduating class. My favorite band throughout our friendship in our last year of school and the span of us two living together was My Chemical Romance. I was head over heels for their music but I never got to go to a show but Alicia always seemed to be out of town when they had a show a few states over. I was just too blind to make the connection. I never thought that she would be the one to bring me to someone like Gerard. He didn’t personify perfection but he was perfect enough for me. Thinking about it all, it was like we were meant to be intertwined or something of the sort.
“Everything okay, baby?”
I snapped out of it as he spoke again. “Oh. Yeah. I was just thinking.”
“What’s on your mind?”
“Just how crazy it is.”
“How we were indirectly connected from the beginning.”
“Hmm, I guess we were. Weren’t we?”
“I like to think so.” I looked at him and smiled. He stole a kiss. This was like a dream.
“Sit up.” He asked.
“What?” I replied obliviously.
“I want to wash your back for you.”
“Oh I see, it’s one of those. You wash my back, I wash yours type things, isn’t it?” I laughed at my corny joke.
“Precisely, now sit up.”
I did as told, watching him grab a washcloth from the tub’s ledge. I felt the warm water and soap graze my back. I relaxed and let my head hang, my hair falling around me. His hand gingerly pushed it all to one shoulder, replacing the cloth with kneading hands.
“Bubble bath and a back massage? You sure know how to charm a lady’s knickers off, Gee.” I said lethargically. I heard him burst into laughter. I had only been half serious. I raised my head realizing how silly I must’ve sounded.
“Knickers?! What are you, British?”
“Why yes, yes I am. Now be a dear and fetch me a crumpet!” I pointed my finger declaratively. We both laughed for a good minute and he kissed me sweetly.
“Where have you been the last few years of my life?” he asked me and I could see the love in his eyes.
“Apparently living with Alicia without the slightest clue of how close I was to you.” I smirked with a smile.
“So tell me more about your fan girl obsession. I’m just dying to know.” He laughed grabbing a strawberry from the platter taking a bite and offering me the second. I took it and it was amazing. I could feel it on each of my taste buds. He must have shelled out top dollar for these.
“Well what do you want to know?”
“Who was your first favorite?”
“Are you sure you really want to know?”
“Positive—“ he paused eating another strawberry “And be honest. It won’t hurt my feelings. I swear.” It was funny how I found it cute in the way he spoke with his mouth full.
“Okay. Well… to be perfectly honest. It was you. I was hooked from the first time I ever heard “Vampires Will Never Hurt You” then I saw your face in a magazine.”
He laughed polishing off his last bite.
“I bet I scared the shit out of you.”
“No, actually it was quite the opposite.”
“Which would be what exactly?” At this question, I turned my body to face him; to see his whole face as I spoke. I looked him dead in those pools he called eyes that had my head swimming.
“I thought you were beautiful… and a little broken; proud within the fact that you didn’t fit in.”
At my sentence’s end I saw his gaze dodge mine like a bullet.
“I’m not beautiful. I’m not broken. I don’t fit in. I’m fucked up inside. I don’t want to bring you down with me.” I could hear his voice slightly breaking.
“I don’t care what you’re afraid of doing to me. I want you. That’s all that should matter Gerard.” I touched my forehead to his lovingly and wrapped my arms around him.
“Why do you have to be such an angel? This would be so much easier if you were a total bitch, you know that?” He smiled and held me back. That was a good sign. I didn’t need him in darkness right now. I needed him here, with me.
“I know, but for now I’m still earning my wings. I can be bad after I get them.”
Gerard smiled again, pulling me close and kissing me. He nipped at my bottom lip playfully and my breath hitched. He recoiled and placed his lips on my neck, kissing once and giving multiple nips. I whimpered slightly.
“Do you think you could be bad for me now?” He whispered nibbling on my earlobe.
“Nnh. Gee.” I could feel him hardening betwixt my thighs.
“What babydoll?” he snickered, biting me again.
“Not here.” I breathed as he snaked his hands to my breasts, gently kneading them both. Gerard kissed me once more, and then anchored himself up to his feet. He offered his hand to me. I took it and we walked out of the tub. He walked to the back of the door retrieving two towels. He handed me one as he kissed me. After he dried off he threw the towel aside. No shame, that one. I did the same but jumped and whimpered as he delivered a sudden smack to my backside on the way to the bedroom.
“Get in there, woman.”
“Yes, Master.” I said jokingly.
“Keep calling me that as a joke, and I’ll make you call me that, doll.”
“Is that so?” I said crawling onto the bed.
“Yes—“, he paused climbing on top of me, suddenly pinning both wrists above my head. “It is so.”
Taking my breath away, he kissed me. I could feel his weight atop me and I liked how heavy it felt.
Gerard began kissing and nibbling everywhere. I couldn’t help to go limp like a rag doll. He had such power over me, and I loved it. I ached for more. I wanted him all. Now.
“Please. Gerard. I need you.” I begged.
“Not a chance. I’m going to enjoy you fully this time. Every—“, a pause and a kiss on my lips “Last—“, a kiss in my cleavage “Inch—“, a kiss on my stomach. “Of you—“, a kiss placed in what made me arch my back and shake to my very core. I could tell it was going to storm for hours with no chance of relief. Damn it all to hell. He moved himself to the side of me tracing a single finger down my skin, propping himself up on one arm.
“What’s the matter, honey bee? Don’t like me invading the hive?” He laughed placing a teasing finger on where I ached most before dipping it inside. I gasped, not being able to conjure a response.
“Its okay, angel. Your body talks for you.--” He kissed me. “And trust me. I’m fluent in its language.” He chuckled delving another finger inside and moving where I was slick with heat. Small sounds escaped my throat involuntarily. He placed his lips on one breast, using a free hand to play with the other and I was writhing. Gerard knew the torture he was bestowing upon me; and he liked it. He tugged and teased, his fingers capably moving within me. He kept me like this for what felt like hours, but was most likely only mere minutes. My hips bucked as I reached what seemed like my breaking point. Without warning he ceased, removing himself from my body.
“Not yet, Christine; I want you with me when I make you see stars”, he said with a smirk before kissing me. He slinked to the nightstand drawer. I heard the ripping of foil I sighed in happy relief knowing what was coming. I was no virgin, but he sure as hell made me feel brand new. I couldn't help but wonder if he felt like this too. Gerard positioned himself over me and paused to look me in the eyes, lovingly pushing the hair from my face.
“I love you.” He kissed me hard.
“I love you too.”
“Are you ready, baby?”
“More than ever.” I smiled.
“All I ever needed to hear.”
I felt his crown and then his entire length. I moaned as he buried himself inside me. He stayed there for a moment and kissed my neck, nibbled on my ear then began a sweet slow rhythm that drove me crazy. It was all I needed; connection, two hearts becoming one. I never in my entire life felt so much love. So this was the difference. This was not something casual. This was not just sex. Gerard was making love to me; In every way possible. Before we knew it we were both at our peak. Happiness assaulted us again and again. I actually laughed because of how good I was feeling. He did too. Spent, he collapsed on top of me for a moment, holding me as close as he possibly could. I had never felt so close to him. He meant it this time. Gerard opened up to me, offered the one thing he probably never gave to another person, his true feelings. I was so lucky. I began to tear up a little. I was praying to god he wouldn’t see. He removed himself from me, disposing the evidence of our love and retreated to my side embracing me once more.
“ I love you, Gerard Way.” I feel like I could never say those words enough. Let alone hear them either.
“And I love you, my sweet angel.”
… and just like that, we drifted into dreams.