Categories > Celebrities > Panic! At The Disco > All We Are Is Entertaniment

I Was Once A Loyal Lover

by Wicked_Lovely 4 reviews

There's so many bridges engulfed in flames behind me.

Category: Panic! At The Disco - Rating: R - Genres: Drama,Romance - Published: 2011-09-02 - Updated: 2011-09-03 - 773 words - Complete

I leaned against the body in front of me, pressing the girl against the wall. Or was it a boy? I closed my eyes, focusing on the taste of stale whiskey that was stuck in my mouth. If I wasn't completely out of my right state of mind I would have realized it was time to stop, but everything had just become a blurred mess of hands and hair, tongues and lips. There was the sound of a moan coming from the person in front of me, followed by a tight squeeze on my shoulder from behind.
"Brendon, who the hell is this?" I was torn from the blurred mix of emotions to face the person I had claimed to be currently dating. Like that would happen again. When you were around, I was a loyal lover, who's lips did never seek another's. But now each loves like a match, a blinding spark that burns out fast.
"I've never met someone more self centered." The person who was now behind me spoke. I laughed, a bitter and broken sound. Maybe I would have felt bad if it weren't for the fact that I just didn't care anymore. They pushed me aside, the two people walking off to leave me confused and alone. With a shrug I went over to the bar, ordering another drink.
The phone in my pocket buzzed and I chose to ignore it, downing the drink in front of me. It continued to go off and I finally decided it was time to answer it.
"Helllloooo?" My voice was slurred, everything sounding sloppy and terrible. Yet kind of funny.
"Brendon, are you drunk?" I laughed.
"Spencer! I missed you~ How ya been buddy?"
"Darling, I don't want to talk to you if your drunk. Epically over the phone."
"What, did someone die again?" He was silent, obviously not finding my drunken joke funny.
"No. And since your going to be a dick I might as well just tell you. Jon and I are getting married." I hung up, putting money down on the bar before walking out. I tossed my phone in the trash on the way out into the cold night air. It seemed as if all my friends were forward thinking, getting hitched and quitting drinking. I could feel them all pulling away as I was resigned to stay the same.
None of them understood what I was going through. How much I missed you, and wished that you would come back. If there was no way of changing the past, then why bother changing the future? At this point, not even you could begin to know how many times I've told myself 'I told you so.' I walked to my apartment, feeling more alone then ever.
I had burned so many bridges after you died. All of the people I used to be so close to being pushed away. I only knew how to be a jackass. It was almost as if I had lost all other traits. Everything that you used to love died with you. I wait to talk when I should listen, and cloud mistakes with false revisions.
The apartment was so cold and empty without you. I sat in the middle of the living room, curling up into myself as I tried to make sense of all that I had done that night. I was pretty positive that I had gotten rid of my last friend. I was officially completely and utterly alone. And ready for heaven and hell to decided. There was a hole in my heart that you made when your heart gave up, and each day it seemed to grow bigger and bigger. I knew that it wouldn't take much longer for it to consume me.
I just wanted to be close behind you.


So this one was super short, and the next one should be longer and twice as sad. There will probably be tears. But for now, we should be fine.

alligatorpie:It truly is sad. I know that, and it just keeps getting worse. The last one, it will just be heartbreaking. I'll update it in a few days. And that will be the last sad chapter for this story.

TheAnonymous:I would hope no one would end up in Brendon's shoes. It's just, it would be terrible. But yeah, I'm glad you like it.

RydenBeliever:I'm glad you like them. Think I updated somewhat soon, no?

AnotherKnifeInMyHand:I was close to it a few times when I reread some of the chapters that I posted. It's almost like I didn't even write it.

-xoxo Pansy.
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