Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > It's A Family Thing
Chapter 7: ...it goes: I am o-fucking-kay and I don't need any help
2 reviewsA surprise party? For me? You shouldn't have!
0Unrated
The blue ones were her lullaby singing her to sleep, the red ones were the birds singing in the morning to wake her up. No big deal. This was her personal chemical romance. And she loved it. Because they - the chemicals - loved her back. Only sometimes when she was alone staring at her reflection in the mirror there was this little voice saying in a very sarcastic manner: "Awww look at you! Trying so hard to be loved... By your family, your brothers, the crowd... You won't ever get that far, you know? Just look at you. You really think you're good at pretending? Good at hiding? You're so much more of a mess than any of your brothers ever were."
Yes, it was hard from time to time. It made her stare at herself in the mirror a lot of times, tears streaming down her face. She tried not to listen to those voices. They only lived inside her head anyway... And then again... after cutting the first line of the day in the bathroom of the bus after showering in the morning the voice was gone anyway and Rage her ever so confident self again. Being funny and cute, giving interesting interviews and tearing it off on stage. Yes, she really had become the master of making herself believe she was o-fucking-kay.
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Gerard hadn't had found the time to confront Rage about his suspicions because of their schedule the following days - by now those suspicions had turned into "facts" (at least for him) - but he was adamant on doing it sometime soon, since it became very apparent (at least for him) something was truly spiraling out of control. This something being Rage.
Just a few days after the BBQ Rage had gotten that nosebleeds while performing. Very nasty. He would have been even more worried if he hadn't known what it might have caused them. Even though he had to admit he never had caught her red handed. Oh god he couldn't imagine what he'd do if that would happen... He'd probably be too shocked to do anything at all or he'd be screaming at her for being so stupid.
Besides the shows, Bee and Lyn-Z, Rage was pretty much all that was on his mind. He wasn't even able to continue writing on the comic. But even though he spend all this time thinking about her, he still didn't know how to start such a talk with Rage and so he decided to talk to Lyn-Z about it one more time. For advice. She was so much better in such things than he himself. Hell, he could write the most emotional lyrics and give inspirational interviews, but when it came to family it was like his tongue decided to work against him. And so he talked to his wife. But not on the phone, personally.
It was the first week of september and they all had 4 days off until the tour would continue and since they were in California everyone decided to go home for a while. Frank even flew out to Jersey. Ray and his wife spend a relaxing weekend in their small house at the coast, Mikey visited Alicia and Gerard - of course - went home to spend quality time with Linds and Bandit. Bee made him forget all his worries about Rage. It was awesome. The three of them went to an art gallery, strolled along the beach and painted together. It was the best time he had. Right before he left for the show in Southern California the next day, he talked to Lyn-Z again. And afterwards he was sure he'd manage to confront Rage. With one more heartfelt kiss on the cheeks of the two most beautiful women in the world he knew, he left. Feeling confident.
Rage btw went to L.A. during the days off as well. She had just bought a small house in the hills and spend her days there. Lounging at the pool, blasting music, sipping a drink. Having a great time! A high time!
She also went to Disney World with some "friends" having a blast. She bought tons of stuff there. Mickey Mouse hats, Disney shirts. And she knew when she would be wearing those. On stage on her birthday.
----------------------------
After their show in Southern California the traveling circus was headed to New Mexico. The next show would be the day of Rages 27th birthday. So to say: A hell of a day.
Rage went crazy on stage that day. In a good way - yes, really - because no matter what a mess she was off stage and how worse she was at keeping it together - on stage she was brilliant. Every single night. Since they had a show in another city the next night there wasn't too much time to party and so Gerard and the other boys of MCR and "The Diamond Mile" decided to surprise Rage on stage with a huge cake.
By the time Gerard called her onto the stage during their set Rage and her band had already started celebrating. So when Rage came on stage she was already tipsy. A cigarette in hand she came onto the stage. Looking cute as hell. She was wearing her Mickey Mouse hat and was covered in glitter. She was smiling when she saw Frank and Ray carrying an enormous cake towrads her.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please make some noise for our little sister. It's her fucking birthday!", Gerard screamed.
The crowd cheered.
"How about we sing her a tune? Huh? Come on! Happy birthday!"
Rage was smiling from ear to ear and while the crowd sang her a "Happy Birthday!" she went round stage giving everyone a hug. When the crowd ended the chant, she stole Gerard's mic and said in best Gerard manner: "A surprise party? For me? You shouldn't have!" She slurred it though, but in a cute and happy way. And after handing him back the mic, she grabbed a piece of cake an threw it directly in Gerards face. For a few minutes the stage turned into a cake battlefield. The crowd seemed to enjoy it as much as both bands did.
Dex had to carry Rage off stage. Otherwise she never would have given up the cake fight. Especially the fight she had with Frank. These two together. Acting like two kids in candyland. What the fuck was growing up?
While MCR played the last songs completely covered in cake and smiles, Rage and the guys continued partying. An hour later they all made for the showers. How good she was the only girl on tour, that way she had the whole thing for herself. Seeing double. Covered in cake and glitter, she forgot to lock the door. In that drunken state it was way harder to form a line. She nearly spilled all of the coke over the sink.
"Fucking shit!" she cursed and bend down, forming kind of a line and snorted it, throwing her head back immediately and let the sensation wash over her.
She was so high she didn't even recognize she had been observed. Gerard had confused the bathrooms and had opened the door just when Rage was busy cursing. Silently he stepped back and closed the door. Not completely though. He still could see her and what she did.
He knew she was doing it but really seeing her do it was another thing altogether. You know - when you imagine a situation over and over again and then when it happens - it's still more than strange because everything turns out to be just a little different than expected. It's because there is this little doubt left... Like when you know you fucked up in a test, you know you did, but there still is this little hope left you might be wrong.
That's exactly how Gerard felt when he saw her. He had been right. All along. And it pained him. And in a weird way it was as he watched himself. It was like time traveling. He could taste the coke in the back of his throat, when Rage inhaled it. And that was when he snapped back to reality. That was too much for him, he coughed and managed to make it to the male bathrooms before he had to throw up.
It had felt so real. Everything. It was like re-visiting some demons from another life. His own demons from all those years ago. It was like re-living his own horrors again.
----------------------
Rage had turned around slightly swaying with an alarmed expression on her face. She thought she heard someone coughing, but when she turned towards the door Gerard was already gone. She hurried up, glanced into the mirror one more time, fixes her hair and left the bathroom. Up to celebrate some more on the bus on their way to the next stop of the tour.
That's it. What do you think? Pretty please review. I love to know your opinions! Next chapter(s) will get intense. Hope you don't mind that... :)
Yes, it was hard from time to time. It made her stare at herself in the mirror a lot of times, tears streaming down her face. She tried not to listen to those voices. They only lived inside her head anyway... And then again... after cutting the first line of the day in the bathroom of the bus after showering in the morning the voice was gone anyway and Rage her ever so confident self again. Being funny and cute, giving interesting interviews and tearing it off on stage. Yes, she really had become the master of making herself believe she was o-fucking-kay.
-----------------------
Gerard hadn't had found the time to confront Rage about his suspicions because of their schedule the following days - by now those suspicions had turned into "facts" (at least for him) - but he was adamant on doing it sometime soon, since it became very apparent (at least for him) something was truly spiraling out of control. This something being Rage.
Just a few days after the BBQ Rage had gotten that nosebleeds while performing. Very nasty. He would have been even more worried if he hadn't known what it might have caused them. Even though he had to admit he never had caught her red handed. Oh god he couldn't imagine what he'd do if that would happen... He'd probably be too shocked to do anything at all or he'd be screaming at her for being so stupid.
Besides the shows, Bee and Lyn-Z, Rage was pretty much all that was on his mind. He wasn't even able to continue writing on the comic. But even though he spend all this time thinking about her, he still didn't know how to start such a talk with Rage and so he decided to talk to Lyn-Z about it one more time. For advice. She was so much better in such things than he himself. Hell, he could write the most emotional lyrics and give inspirational interviews, but when it came to family it was like his tongue decided to work against him. And so he talked to his wife. But not on the phone, personally.
It was the first week of september and they all had 4 days off until the tour would continue and since they were in California everyone decided to go home for a while. Frank even flew out to Jersey. Ray and his wife spend a relaxing weekend in their small house at the coast, Mikey visited Alicia and Gerard - of course - went home to spend quality time with Linds and Bandit. Bee made him forget all his worries about Rage. It was awesome. The three of them went to an art gallery, strolled along the beach and painted together. It was the best time he had. Right before he left for the show in Southern California the next day, he talked to Lyn-Z again. And afterwards he was sure he'd manage to confront Rage. With one more heartfelt kiss on the cheeks of the two most beautiful women in the world he knew, he left. Feeling confident.
Rage btw went to L.A. during the days off as well. She had just bought a small house in the hills and spend her days there. Lounging at the pool, blasting music, sipping a drink. Having a great time! A high time!
She also went to Disney World with some "friends" having a blast. She bought tons of stuff there. Mickey Mouse hats, Disney shirts. And she knew when she would be wearing those. On stage on her birthday.
----------------------------
After their show in Southern California the traveling circus was headed to New Mexico. The next show would be the day of Rages 27th birthday. So to say: A hell of a day.
Rage went crazy on stage that day. In a good way - yes, really - because no matter what a mess she was off stage and how worse she was at keeping it together - on stage she was brilliant. Every single night. Since they had a show in another city the next night there wasn't too much time to party and so Gerard and the other boys of MCR and "The Diamond Mile" decided to surprise Rage on stage with a huge cake.
By the time Gerard called her onto the stage during their set Rage and her band had already started celebrating. So when Rage came on stage she was already tipsy. A cigarette in hand she came onto the stage. Looking cute as hell. She was wearing her Mickey Mouse hat and was covered in glitter. She was smiling when she saw Frank and Ray carrying an enormous cake towrads her.
"Ladies and Gentlemen, please make some noise for our little sister. It's her fucking birthday!", Gerard screamed.
The crowd cheered.
"How about we sing her a tune? Huh? Come on! Happy birthday!"
Rage was smiling from ear to ear and while the crowd sang her a "Happy Birthday!" she went round stage giving everyone a hug. When the crowd ended the chant, she stole Gerard's mic and said in best Gerard manner: "A surprise party? For me? You shouldn't have!" She slurred it though, but in a cute and happy way. And after handing him back the mic, she grabbed a piece of cake an threw it directly in Gerards face. For a few minutes the stage turned into a cake battlefield. The crowd seemed to enjoy it as much as both bands did.
Dex had to carry Rage off stage. Otherwise she never would have given up the cake fight. Especially the fight she had with Frank. These two together. Acting like two kids in candyland. What the fuck was growing up?
While MCR played the last songs completely covered in cake and smiles, Rage and the guys continued partying. An hour later they all made for the showers. How good she was the only girl on tour, that way she had the whole thing for herself. Seeing double. Covered in cake and glitter, she forgot to lock the door. In that drunken state it was way harder to form a line. She nearly spilled all of the coke over the sink.
"Fucking shit!" she cursed and bend down, forming kind of a line and snorted it, throwing her head back immediately and let the sensation wash over her.
She was so high she didn't even recognize she had been observed. Gerard had confused the bathrooms and had opened the door just when Rage was busy cursing. Silently he stepped back and closed the door. Not completely though. He still could see her and what she did.
He knew she was doing it but really seeing her do it was another thing altogether. You know - when you imagine a situation over and over again and then when it happens - it's still more than strange because everything turns out to be just a little different than expected. It's because there is this little doubt left... Like when you know you fucked up in a test, you know you did, but there still is this little hope left you might be wrong.
That's exactly how Gerard felt when he saw her. He had been right. All along. And it pained him. And in a weird way it was as he watched himself. It was like time traveling. He could taste the coke in the back of his throat, when Rage inhaled it. And that was when he snapped back to reality. That was too much for him, he coughed and managed to make it to the male bathrooms before he had to throw up.
It had felt so real. Everything. It was like re-visiting some demons from another life. His own demons from all those years ago. It was like re-living his own horrors again.
----------------------
Rage had turned around slightly swaying with an alarmed expression on her face. She thought she heard someone coughing, but when she turned towards the door Gerard was already gone. She hurried up, glanced into the mirror one more time, fixes her hair and left the bathroom. Up to celebrate some more on the bus on their way to the next stop of the tour.
That's it. What do you think? Pretty please review. I love to know your opinions! Next chapter(s) will get intense. Hope you don't mind that... :)
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