Categories > Celebrities > My Chemical Romance > Killjoy Academy

11:The Past Is Real

by GotSparkle 8 Reviews

"Welcome Back!"

Category: My Chemical Romance - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Angst,Drama - Characters: Bob Bryar,Frank Iero,Gerard Way,Mikey Way,Ray Toro - Warnings: [V] - Published: 2011/09/18 - Updated: 2011/09/18 - 12756 words

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(Neon’s POV)

“Welcome back!” Korse says, touching my hair. I growl, and am quickly slapped. Another growl escapes my throat, this one low and predatory. I’m slapped again. “My pet, do you know what this room is?” he asks. I shake my head. “This is our ‘breaker’ chamber. We nicknamed it the desolation device. This side is safe. Very safe actually. You see, the other side is a different matter.” He says with a creepy smile on his face. “Who would like to know what happens on the other side?” He asks, and through the glass, I can see a gurney being wheeled in by a pair of workers. They don’t look at us, and I can swear one is shaking his head slowly. “Well, since none of you will answer… I’ll just tell you. Inside that nice little room is where you get to find your own personal torture. It’s easier shown that explained.” He grabs Ghoul by the arm.

“Go to hell.” Ghoul spits at him, and I perk up a bit inside at his ability to spit insults even in the face or torture. Torture. I knew what was about to happen, and I couldn’t stop it, deflating the perky feeling I’d gotten from Ghoul rebelling. He’s shoved through a door, into the room. He struggles the whole way. I cast a glance at him. “I’m sorry.” I mouth to him, and he nods his understanding.

“He’s about to do a little show for us, while I tell.” Korse says with an oily tone to his already freaky voice. “Strap him down boys.” He directs to the two workers, pushing a button to talk to them. Frank, even though he’s small, can fight like a wild cougar when he needs to. Thankfully, all those late night’s training with me whipped him into a pretty nice fighter, so he struggles before being subdued and tied down. The workers leave, and Korse hit’s a blue button with the BLI logo on it. Something sprays into the room, like a light mist. Frank starts screaming the second it hit’s him, shrieking as loud as he can. “He’s now re-experiencing the worst physical pain he’s ever felt. Next will be emotional pain. Anybody want to see what he’s feeling?” He asks. We all stay silent, not even a cough around the room. Korse pushes an orange button, lowering a screen into the room. Two little electrodes, one attached to his heart, and one to his temple, are transmitting what we’re seeing. The technology is rough, still new. We plan to perfect it….using our lab rats.” He smiles at me, and I try not to cringe. Forcing my head up, I look at the screen. There’s Frank, writhing and twisting on the gurney, looking terrified, making small screeches.

“I’m so sorry.” I whisper, not sure if he can hear me. “This is my fault.”

“What was that pet?” Korse asks, and I clamp my mouth shut. “Right about now, according to the screen, it should be kicking in….” He trails as the memory flashes by on the screen. A young Fun Ghoul, possibly in his late teens, early twenties graces the screen. His hair is shorter, died platinum blonde in some pieces, and there is smudged red around his eyes. Not a good look on him. He’s sitting somewhere, I can’t tell if it’s in the Zones or not, but I don’t think it is. His lip is being held out, something being tattooed on the inside. Another one is freshly done on his arm, and he looks pained. The lip ring is already pierced into his lip. More images flash by, with Frank getting older in each one as a new picture or word is inked into his skin. It’s finished, and the mist in the other room evaporates almost immediately. The workers return, replacing the electrodes and sticking a syringe full of a blue green liquid into his arms. I squeal, seeing the pain glazing his eyes over. “Aw, is the little pet upset? Do we have a bit of a romance going there?” I stay silent, and am slapped. “Answer me!”

“No.” I lie. Not now anyways. “Don’t hurt him anymore, please.” I say to Korse, who just smiles like the snake he is, and pushes a green button. Frank starts squirming, trying to move something from his eyes. I take a step closer to the glass, almost pressed against it. “Please.” I ask Korse, who just chuckles at me. “Stop hurting him!”

He just gives a malevolent chuckle to my pleas. “Oh no. My pet, this is what we do to our rat’s that run. They are worked to the bone, punished for their wrongs.” He says, and the Dracs release me. I could hit him, but what happens after that? We all die. I couldn’t do that. So I keep my fists down at my sides, instead of bashing in Korse’s stupid face.

“Let’s see if he can tell us what he’s feeling shall we?” He asks, and I close my eyes, watching the man I’d loved so dearly blinking back tears, unable to wipe them away. Korse fiddles with a dial on the monitor, and all we catch are brief glimpses of what he’s seeing. The flash of a color, the rough shape of a room. A word, a syllable, a glimpse of Frank. What he sees as his worst emotional pain breaks my heart.

(Frank’s POV)

The memories were flashing through my brain, like a deck of cards being shuffled. I could clearly see them, but only little scenes. One hits me in particular, and sticks. The whole room changes and I’m able to see Neon pressed against the glass window, watching me, before the room changes scenery.

I’m no longer in the cold BLI lab. I’m now in a town, sitting around a fire in the middle of the woods somewhere. Party is sitting next to me, and my hand has cautiously crept next to his, and he’s smiling at me. I try not to blush. This was before BLI, before Neon Sun was in the picture, Before Violet Rage even. We talk for awhile, and in the back of my mind, I’m wondering why this is the memory selected. When we stand up, there’s a nice little kiss that leaves me wanting more, as usual.

“I can’t do this anymore.” Gerard says, as we walk back to my house. His hand has dropped mine. “I can’t lie to you.”

“Wh-what?” I ask, trying not to blubber. I knew what he was about to say, and it stings worse than anything in the world.

“I just can’t do it.” He says, not looking at me. “I can’t keep telling you I love you when I don’t. I’m sorry Frank. We need to just be friends.” Gerard says to me, and walks away into the night, lighting a cigarette as he goes. My heart is about to be slashed open, torn to pieces. “I don’t love you like I did yesterday.” He says over his shoulder as he leaves me in the middle of the street, the only light coming from the lamps that lined the sidewalks. My heart tears, I feel like somebody stabbed me in the chest, and pulled down, creating a gaping wound that was soon filled with acid, dripped slowly onto the nerve endings that tore me to pieces. The first tear falls, and my head swims.

The memory fades, changing. I’m lying in bed, next to some girl whose name I can’t place. A cigarette is in my mouth, being dragged on by me. I know this scene. This is where Sun catches me with that stupid girl I cheated on her with. Unable to change the scene, I must relive it, including every single thought and word.

“Love, that was great.” I whisper to the half asleep girl. “Better than I’ve gotten in months.” Lie, I’d had Sun last night. And the night before… and that morning… and the day before that….

“I aim to please.” She purrs at me, tossing the loose auburn curls over her shoulder. Her eyes, all big and green, blink at me. “Round two?” She asks, looking expectant. I nod, putting the cigarette back in my mouth for another pull. “I think we need to fight it out, see who wins that round.” She says with a wink.

“Give me a moment.” I say, and she smiles, closing her eyes, laying her head on my chest. I put an arm around her, and my mind flashes to what had happened minutes before. It wasn’t the auburn hair, the emerald eyes and porcelain skin I saw in that memory as I smoked. No. I saw blonde hair, big pink-purple eyes, and a smile that killed me. I saw Sun, not this random girl whose name was already gone from my mind. There was something in my stomach, pulling at me from the inside. It was like regret and guilt had mixed, creating this horrid little monster eating me from the inside out. I take another pull, considering the amount of time it would take to get the smell of this girl’s cheap, overly sweet perfume out of my bed and hair before Sun got home from the towns. She’d gone with Violet Rage to get more supplies. Namely hair dye.

“Frankie?” Suns voice calls, and my head is still swimming. I can’t hide the girl next to me, and am to busy being halfway through taking a drag off my cigarette to throw it on the ground, or get clothes on. “I got home early. My hair is all nice and colorful again!” she’s outside, and I see the door handle turns. I scramble to put some distance between me and the auburn haired girl, but I can’t. The thing I’d ruined a relationship with was attached to me like the love child of a leech and a tick, clinging to me, completely unshakeable. “What the?” Sunnie asks, door open and she’s staring at me. “Frank?” She asks, lip quivering. “Ghoul?”

“Sunnie!” I call, and she looks at my am, the girl lying on my chest. “Sunnie, this isn’t what it looks like.” I say as my arms snaps back, and I push the girl from my chest. She doesn’t even stir. Sun’s eyes, usually their happy blue purple color, now a dark grey, already clouding with tears. Her skin morphs to something almost porcelain like, and her hair loses its color, the platinum blonde hair staying around the same shade, but the colored streaks and pieces dulling, like the life had been sucked from them. She turns around and runs. I flop my head back, and hear her knock on a door through her radio.

“Sun!” I scream, suddenly remembering that I had to go after my fiancée. No way was I losing her over this. Not now. Over my dead body. “Sun!” I add again, pushing the girl off me completely and pulling pants and a shirt on as fast as I can. “Stupid skinny jeans, why won’t you just get on my body already?!?” I scream to nobody, buttoning and zipping them up as I run out the door, racing for Sun. I hit Party Poisons Block, and can smell her perfume lingering in the air where she just stood. Never in my life have I been so thankful to smell vanilla, pears, and some weird flower I can’t name.

“Sun, open the door up.” I say from outside the door. “I know you’re in here.”

“She doesn’t want to see you.” A male calls while walking towards the door. He steps out. I’m now hearing Sun start sobbing once again. “When were you planning on telling me you were engaged?”

Time to get defensive. My fiancée, not his. I have my reasons for not telling him. May as well let him know now. “After we got married. When were you planning on telling me you were hitting on my girlfriend?” I question. He looks shocked, but it’s just a flicker of an emotion, before he resumes stony faced indifference. “What? You think I don’t notice the looks you give her, the hugs in the morning that last just a moment to long? The jealous glares you try to hide when I get to tackle her in fight for a demonstration? Gerard, I’ve known you too long for you to try to hide stuff like that from me.”

“I wasn’t trying to hide it.” He lies.

“You sure as hell weren’t screaming it from the rooftops!” I say, blood pumping hard and hot through my body. I could feel myself getting worked up, and my tone reflected it. How dare he just try and woo her in her time of emotion? You’ve got to be kidding me! He can’t just TAKE her, she was MINE! The ring on her finger was one I gave her, not him! She was mine, and like a preschooler, I didn’t want to share my things. That’s the thing…she wasn’t an object. She was my girl.

“Would you? If I was dating her, and you wanted her, would you go around letting everybody know how much you wanted it to be you that she fell asleep next to? To have it be you that she wanted to spend her life with? To make it you that got to hear her moan your name out? No. You wouldn’t. You don’t give a care about her Frank. She caught you in bed with a stripper! I’m getting angrier now. How could he act like this was just about if he had taken a liking to her or not? How could he just turn this around? No, this was about me apologizing. “I mean, dear God man, don’t even pretend like you cared all that much about her.” He adds with a harsh laugh. That’s it. I’m done trying to control myself.

“You know what! You’re wrong Party!” I scream back. “I would let her know I still wanted her! I still do! I made a stupid mistake, and I regretted it immediately after. All I could think about it during was her! Her face, her eyes, her name! Not the bimbo I slept with. I don’t even remember the bimbo’s name! It wasn’t her I was thinking about when I was smoking. No, all I could think about was Sun! You only want her because for once, I beat you in something. You always get the girls, and the second you don’t get one, and I do, you want it!” I was seething with rage right now, vision tingeing red in the flurry of anger.

He rolls his eyes, crossing his arms across his chest. “You only proposed because you knew I liked her. Let me guess, you just asked her one day? Dropped to a knee, whipped out a ring and asked?”

He glares at me, and I look up at my oldest friend. “No! I proposed because I want to spend the rest of my life with her! Because I want her to be mine forever! And no Gerard, I put thought into it. She went out, and I left her all these little clues, until she found me. I made her search for me, and when she did, I got down, gave her this long speech about how much I loved her and how perfect she was, and then I asked. It was scary as anything. You need to get your facts straight before you start attacking people.” I spit the words out, all the while remembering the moment. “Let me go see her.” This is where the realization of what I’d done set’s in,

“She ripped the ghost charm off Frank! It’s over, done with. You wanna come in and see what you’ve done to her?” Party asks me while swinging the door open for me. “Sun! The liar is here.” It was a low blow to have my best friend protecting my fiancée over me. He calls to me and I hear her start sobbing harder. Stepping inside, my hands start shaking.

“Sunnie?” I frown. “Sunnie I’m so sorry.”

“Save it! Get the hell out of here!” She screams at me between sobs. The proverbial knife plunges into my chest, and twists at the sound of her choked sobs.

I move closer, and Party mirrors my actions, just in case Sun did something stupid. At this point, as I’m remembering the rest of the memory, I recall that she was still working on letting her killer instincts go. The memory returns, sharper this time. “Sun, you know I love you.” I tell her. “You know that I love you. You know you love me.”

“No, I thought you did. Take it, I don’t want it anymore.” She flings the small ring at me, and it hits the dead center of my chest. As it falls, I catch it. It goes into my pocket, and she sobs some more, turning away from him. “Get out! I don’t want to see you anymore! Go back to your striper; I’m sure you paid for a few more hours.” She spits the words at me, laced with pure malice. The knife in my chest twists, plunging deeper into me. In the present, I feel my body twist and jerk as the emotional pain converts to mind blowing physical pain. I

“Go. You need to leave.” Party tells me, pushing me out the door and locking it. I walk the rest of the way to the spare block, and once I’m inside, sit down and cry. The sobs are hard, nearly choking me. My radio buzzes.

“I think you should stay here tonight. I want to watch you.” Party tells somebody. I can’t help but listen. “Make sure you don’t try to hurt yourself.”

“Do you mind? I’ll sleep on the floor; just let me go to my Block, grab a pillow or a blanket to sleep with…” Sun’s tear chocked voice resonates over the radio. It hurts worse to hear her. “I was so excited to get married…” she trails. Party shushes her as she cries again. “it was a week from today actually. I was so excited to finally be with someone forever…” She chokes the words out between heart wrenching sobs. And the knife is stabbing me repeadedtly. Well, not a literall knife, but that’s what it felt like.

“Shh, it’ll be okay. Things will work out how they’re meant to.” He comforts her, and she sniffles a bit. “You’re one step closer to the guy you’re gonna spend forever with.”

“You think?” She asks, and I can tell he’s hugging her. Traitor. Hugging my ex, not ten minutes after I get broken up with. Probably rubbng her back as he does, smoothing the crinkles in her black tanktop, feeling the red lace that comprised the back of it. Maybe he was petting that fabulous mane of platinum blonde hair, straightened into perfection, streaks perfectly colorful.

“I know. He’ll be wonderful. Perfect for you, like another half. Just hold out for him.” He soothes her some more.

“Just lemme go get my stuff.” Sun says quietly. I cry harder, biting the inside of my lip on accidently clamping down so hard I draw blood. “Party?” She asks quietly.

“Yes, love?” He asks, dropping a pet name. I could swear she was blushing right now. That blush she had, the face that came with it… the thought made me nearly choke on my sobs. Blood was running from my lip, and I had to lick it away. The metallic taste flowed over my taste buds as it poured steadily from the punctures. I lick it away as fast as I can, sucking it out as fast as I could. Not that it’d help, but anything that distracted me from those two was good in my book. In the present, lying on the gurney, a moment of clarity hits me, and I can see Neon Sun’s face. It’s pressed against the glass, smooshing her features. She looks like she’s about to cry. That’s when I see her standing next to party Poison, and I’m zapped back into the memory. The knife returns, slicing me open (metaphorically) as I remember what came next.

“Do you think I’ll meet my perfect match anytime soon? Because I’m not very patient.” Sun asks him.

I can almost hear Party Poison’s smile. “I bet you’ve already met him. Maybe in a bar, ordering a drink. Or in the towns, just waiting to be recruited by a pretty girl. Or maybe he’s in the camp. Maybe he’s traveling to the camp.” His voice changes, lowering to a soft purr. He was probably circling her, maybe hugging her, arms draped around her waist. Yeah, his arms were definatnly around that tiny waist of hers, probably playing with the side hem of her shirt. “Maybe a friend introduced you two, and it just never really clicked yet. Maybe you already know it’s supposed to click, but you’re just denying it to yourself.” How could he purr those words out to her? That’s how they met! Violet Rage introduced her to us all, before she got caught up in a raid. His voice drops the velvety purr. “Maybe he already loves you, and you just don’t know it yet.” She sighs heavily. “It’ll happen darling, I promise you it will. I promise you you’re other half is thinking the same thing right now about you.” Another sniffle from her, and I try to choke back sobs. Sun sounded broken, like somebody had shattered her every hope and dream. Oh wait, I had.

“I’m gonna get my stuff.” She mutters, and her radio switches off.

“Hey, Ghoul, I know you were listening. When I said her other half?” Party’s voice floats over the radio. “I meant me. All’s fair in love and war, this just happens to be a pinch of both.” My heart is torn in two as the click from his radio shutting off hits my ears. Just at the thought of her and him ending up together made me sick. The acid is dropped in the metaphorical wound as I look at the sparkling ring in my hand, having unclenched my fist to look at the little golden halo.

My head swims again, and I find myself back on the gurney, looking out at the crowd of my makeshift family. I realize I’ve been crying, feeling tears fall down my cheeks. A single pair of guards return releasing me from the gurney, but not from the memories that now haunted me. Too physically drained, I don’t fight them as they lead me out. A sharp kick lands on my knee, and I drop to my hands and knees. Another one hits my ribcage, and I struggle to my feet. Punches and slaps land everywhere on me, one giving me a nice hit to the lip. Before being tossed in the room with everybody else, I’m hit around some more.

“Oh my god!” Sun squeals, trying to get to me as I fall to the floor, embracing the cold tiles against my aching head. She tries to pick me up, but I’m dead weight.

“On your feet!” Korse demands. I’m too dazed from the pain to try to stand. “Do it!” He screams again. I don’t listen. “Stand up you slimy little slug, or I’ll make the pain a thousand times worse for your darling girl.” He says, and I try to stand. Neon Sun did not need this right now, and the pain for her was going to be bad enough. A pair of arms pulls me to my feet, and slips my arms around their shoulders. Infernal Heartbreak has my right side, propping me up as much as she can, and Kobra Kid has my left, supporting my weight easily.

“I’m so sorry.” Sun whispers to me. I just nod my acknowledgement to her, and I see her gulp heavily.

“Reliving isn’t the worst part.” I mutter to her, big eyes threatening to water as the colors shift at a dizzying pace. I find the strength to look her in the eyes. “It’s the fact that I can’t change it. The fact that I can’t go back and fix what happened. The fact that I can’t change a single detail. The fact that I still lose you. That’s the worst part.” My head falls back down, looking back at the too-clean floor, now sporting tiny droplets of my blood as they fell from my lips and various wounds. My eyes flutter closed, trying to give me a reprieve from the hell I was now experiencing. Tattoo pain was able to be dealt with. A heartbroken tattoo could be mended. A heartbroken person... that was harder to fix.

(Jet Star’s POV)
I was next, but I didn’t notice that I was being dragged into the room before I was already there. I could still see Fun Ghoul, being supported by members of the group, and Neon Sun, looking terrified but trying to hide it. As her eyes flicked around the room, their color changed. It landed on me through the glass, and she gives me a sad look. Before I know it, I’m strapped to the gurney, and soon am greeted by the mist we saw earlier. An electrode is strapped onto my wrist, and I can feel my head start to swim.

Two men come out of a side door I hadn’t noticed earlier, and I see they’re carrying a doctor’s bag. The contents are a mystery; until I see the long slightly curved rectangle come out of the bag and be clicked together twice. I knew immediately. Gerard used one, Sun used to before she figured out how to zap herself into perfection, and Frank had been known to steal Mikey’s. Oh no. Not the fro. The flat iron get’s closer to me, and quickly clamps down on my hair. Not the fro! Don’t hurt the fro! Anything but my fro!

I whimper, refusing to call out. Scissors come out of the bag next, and I see pieces of my hair fall to the floor. What feels like hours later, I’m now sporting short, straight hair. The men leave me, packing up the flat iron and exiting the room. The mist settles, and my head swims. Before I can stop myself, I shake my head around. A curl falls into my vision. Wait! I think, all the while shaking my fro some more. Suddenly, the men reappear, and this time I can tell the iron is real. They move close to my face with it, and I jerk my head away, succeeding only in burning the side of my face.

“Get away from me!” I scream at them, and something sharp is sliced into my arm. “Did you just cut me?!?!” I scream and feel something drop in it, like acid. I turn my head to see one worker dropping lemon juice into a gaping wound in my arm. It’s not even cold juice, it’s scorching hot. I yell as it’s dumped into the wound. More is brought as I scream, beg, and fight back tears. I’m burned over and over, only 1st degree burns thankfully. Maybe these people did have a heart. A green light flashes three times, controlled by Korse I assumed.

“Bring him out.” Korse’s voice says, and I’m released, pulled out to the room where the rest of us waited. Violet and Sun were near each other, shooting worried glances. Party kept staring at his brother, who was staring at me.

“It’s horrible.” I whisper, and Mikey is grabbed by the arm. Party reaches out for his brother.

“Not him. Please.” Gerard says to Korse. “I’ll take it twice.”

“No, you will watch. I have to make it worse now.” Korse replies with a sigh. “So sorry.” He says to Mikey, who is then led inside. “A double dose for him.” He says into the microphone.

(Kobra Kid’s POV)

Breathe in, breathe out. In, out. Repeat. I remind myself to breathe as I’m strapped in. Physical pain, which would be the time I got beat it up for being bisexual. That would be nothing. Emotional pain...Well…that’d be the hard part. I’m strapped to the chilly metal gurney, arms quickly fixed down. I see the two workers enter, carrying a tray with three syringes on it. The needles on them were large, and my mind jumper to Gerard. He was going to freak out before he even hallucinated.

“Electrodes please.” Korse’s voice says from the intercom. Party Poison’s face was pressed against the glass, mouthing words I couldn’t make out from the angle I was tipped at. The gurney was tipped so I was nearly standing, propped up to form a triangle with the floor, but cemented so I couldn’t roll off. Two sharp pricks pierce the cloth of my shirt, straight into my shoulders, close to my neck. I scream in pain, and feel blood fall out the small pricks. That was going to stain, if I didn’t get it out. Why was I worrying about stains? I had more shirts back at the camp. Before I can continue my thoughts, a needle is placed in my arm, the vial it connects to is filled with a dark forest green liquid. The plunger is pushed slowly, and two electrodes are placed on me at nearly simultaneous times. The other vials of liquid, an orange and a red, are quickly injected into my arms. The hazy fog I’d seen set’s in as the workers leave, pressing a hand against a touch pad on the door that allows them to leave. The haze get’s more and more foggy, and I start screaming as the room changes. A burning sensation was in the place something had pricked me on my back, spreading through my body like fire. As my heart thumps wildly, I feel an icy burn spread over me. The room changes. I’m back in the Blocks. The Block says F on it in a big red swoop of paint.

So this was emotional pain. I open the door in front of me, and see my brother, sweating and shaking, nose lowered onto a mirror, finger against one nostril. A sucking sound makes me realize what he’s doing.

“Party?” I ask, and his head jerks up to look at me. His pupils were huge, almost overwhelming his hazel eyes. I stare on, jaw dropped at the sight. “You promised.” I say, seeing him wipe the remaining powder from under his nose. “You promised you’d stop.”

“I lied!” he says, a smile that only a junky can do on his face. “Boo freakin hoo.” He says when I tear up. “Get over it Mouse.”

“Party!” I scream, taking the bag of powder and pills from him. “What is this?!?!” I hold up a small blue pill.

“The blue ones help her fly; the red ones help me fall.” He sings out in a drunken sounding voice. “That stuff’s great. That’s what that is.”

I want to puke at his love for the drug. “You’re horrible. You’re not just hurting yourself, you’re hurting all of us! We can’t run the group with you constantly high. You promised me!” I say, throwing a glass of water near his bed on him, followed by a cup of lukewarm coffee. “Clean up!” I say to him. “Sober up! You promised me!” I start crying now. “I’m your little brother! I don’t want you to OD, have to bury you! I want you to stop hurting yourself!” I’m screaming at my brother now, the tears flowing freely. He just rolls his eyes. He was high, the drug worked that fast. I wasn’t a hundred percent sure what it was he was on, but I hoped it didn’t last long.

He starts giggling, and then growls. So the drug caused mood swings. Great. Perfect. “Grow up Kobra. This is who I am. Deal with it or GTFO of my life.” He says, and I see his eyes dilate to something close to normal. He was coming down. Suddenly he starts shaking. “Give me my pills.” He demands, and I shove the bag down my jacket pocket.

“No. You need to clean up your act. Stop cutting, be a man and actually deal with your problems.” I say. “I’m not being your enabler anymore.”

He laughs at me, but is still shaking as he comes down. “I don’t need you! I can do whatever I please!” he says, eyes darting all over the room. I know he doesn’t have any more drugs, so I don’t follow them much. “Give me them Kid!” He screams. I take a step backwards, and he approaches me.

“NO!” I scream at my big brother, hurting for him. “I won’t let you!” I screech at him. He snatches for the drugs I had tucked away, trying to get to them. I run for his bathroom, and dump the contents of the bag into the toilet, flushing them down. He scrambles to get the last of the bag, but I’m too quick for him.

“I hate you!” He screams at me. “I wish you were dead! I wish you’d never been born!” The words sting, like salt rubbed into a wound. In the past, it’d hurt. In the present, it was like tearing open a scar and re-slashing the wound over and over with a blade dripping vinegar and acid. It dug deeper and deeper everytime it hit me. Every letter was a stab, every two a slash.

“But I love you, because you’re my brother. No matter what, I have your back.” I want to hug him, but he’s sobbing. Shaking like a leaf in the wind. He keeps calling out for our mom, long gone.

“I want mom!” He screams. I lead him back to his bed. He sits on it, curled up in a ball. “Kobra I want mommy!”

I shush him, putting a blanket over his shaking form. “She’s not here.”

His eyes go wide. “Where’s mommy?” He asks, looking to be about nine.

“Mommy isn’t here. She’s in a place so much-” he cuts me off.

“better than this, where the birds fly and sing happily in bright blue skies. Where people dance with the birds in the air.” He finishes the old explanation of heaven for us. “Where nobody ever cries except out of happiness. Where we go when it’s said and done.” He whispers the last lines, and passes out. I can see his chest moving up and down, indicating he hadn’t dropped dead from an OD. I leave the room, broken for my big brother. He’d looked pitiful when he was coming down, shaking and sobbing like he was two. As I leave his bedside, I hear something that kills me a tiny bit more. “Still.. not…sorry.” He mumbles in his sleep. “Still..want..more..”. The scene changes, to me, in highschool.

After what felt like hours upon hours of being kicked, hit, slapped, slammed into objects and beat with various things, the mist clears. I try to stand, but I can’t. The restraints are lifted, and I’m led out of the room. Tears are running down my face, and when I exit the room, greeted by the over sanitized smell of the safe room, I’m thrown to the floor and mercilessly kicked. My head hits the wall and a boot with a sickening thud, and the workers leave, chuckling at my yelps of pain. Before I can stop her, Sun is on the ground with me, lifting me up.

“You don’t need to be straining yourself.” I whisper as quiet as I can to her. She ignores me. “ella. Not now.” I remind her of the baby, how she shouldn’t do tons of physical activity, it could hurt her. Neon Sun, tears threatening to spill from orange colored eyes, continues picking me up off the floor. My brother rushes to me, supporting me.

“I hope you rot somewhere.” Party spits at Korse. “You’re a sociopath. Cruel, conniving.”

Korse just smirks at us. “If I was a sociopath, I would’ve killed him. I showed remorse. To be honest, I could drive you all insane.”

“Already there.” Infernal mutters, supporting my weight with her own shoulder. She didn’t like being touched, so I knew that this meant I was in bad shape. “But have fun trying.” If I wasn’t feeling like I’d been attacked by a pack of wild dogs, and my head wasn’t about to explode from the pounding… I’d laugh.

“Hmmm.” Korse says, walking up and down the ranks of us, all holding each other up. “Let’s choose another contestant on The Pain is Right…”

Neon Steps forward from us. “If I stay in the labs… will you let my friends go, without harming them in any way? No killing them, no terrorizing our home. I will be your lab rat, on the condition that you let us all be safe and happy and alive. No beatings.” Neon Sun is offering herself up to save all of us from what she thought was coming.

(Party’s POV)

Korse smiles at the group of us. We all looked a little less KillJoy, a little more beaten and broken group of kids. “Would you really offer yourself up for your friends?” He asks her. Sun nods silently. Her hands wrap around herself, and I can almost hear her saying sorry.

“Too bad.” Korse says. “The only way you’re leaving here is in a casket. If we can spare one for your bodies…” His smile is malicious, and I have the sudden urge to tear his head off. He reaches out, stroking Sun’s hair lightly. “Choose my pet. Choose who will be next.” Her jaw drops, and the air around her shimmers a bit, indicating that she’d morphed her appearance. Probably her eyes, blood red to match her blood lust right now. Her hands are clenching and unclenching into little fists. Just the perfect size to knock Korse’s teeth out. If I’d been in her place, his teeth would litter the floor, and he’d already be dead. How could he just stand and watch as a person was tortured? Was he really that emotionless? This reminds me of why I had to fight, why I had to bring these crazy people down.

He’d hurt Mikey Mouse, and I’d had to see my brother, my baby brother, endure the stress and the pain of my drug addiction. It was horrible, seeing the monster I’d become under the influence. Every time I was flirtin’ with the monster –I’d come to refer to my drugs as the Monster- it’d torn him to pieces. I’d always regretted what I’d said that night. Sun turns, standing next to Korse. He holds her by the neck, hand wrapping lightly around it. His palm was on the back of her neck, and she tried to shirk away from his touch.

“Choose.” Korse demands again. She looks up and down the line of us. From the corner of my eye, I catch the slightest bob of purple hair. Violet was volunteering, saying she was ready. My heart pulls at the thought of her voulenteering herself for this. I step forward.

“Me. Pick me.” I say, and Sun shakes her head at me. “For Ella.” I say, and she shakes her head again.

“Who’s Ella?” Korse asks with a curious glance. Time to lie, like we’d taught in interrogation.

I smile at him. “Ella is a friend of ours. She died the other day. Cancer. Quite tragic. We stay strong for her, because she’d like nothing more than to be up in heaven and watch us take you down.” I lie easily and fluidly, looking him directly in those cold, shark like eyes. “I voulenteer to go next.”

“It’s her choice.” Korse says, knowing she wouldn’t be able to do that to me.

“You.” She points to Violet Rage, who steps forward. “I’m sorry.” She mutters as Violet is led into the room. The second she crosses the threshold she’s kicking and fighting, trying to make them let go of her. A few obscenities fly through the air, and I fight the urge to smile, keeping my near stoic look. That’d only hurt her more, make Korse up her pain level. Violet sure did know how to let the long, creative strings of obscenities fly. I wonder why she wasn’t cussing in different languages yet. Sun moves back near me, and her hand goes behind her back. Violet is strapped down, and she thankfully struggles the whole way.

“You should’ve picked me.” I whisper to Sun while Rage lives up to her KillJoy surname, snarling like a rabid dog and fighting the two members of the workforce like a pissed off cougar. She was stalling for time, thrashing like that. “I don’t want to have to see you go through your pain. If I’m drained enough, I won’t be able to pay attention.”

“Oh, Did I mention a little fact? The mist settles to where you feel the pain everyone else feels, when they feel it. It’s diluted a bit, but the feeling is still there.” Korse laughs at us. Mikey screams when the needle is driven into Violet’s arm. I close my eyes, not wanting to see it. “Open your eyes tomato head, or I’ll make it worse for my little pet.” He points to Sun, and hit’s a button that lets him speak to the workers. “Shock’s and electrodes please. Temple and over the heart. Oh… another shot into the arm with the carving.” He adds, waving his fingers at Violet. “Remember me?” He asks with a snarl. She flips him off with both fingers.

“Sit on it and moan!” She screams at Korse. I hide a chuckle. Typical Violet… throwing comebacks even in the face of danger. I grab Sun’s hand, hiding it behind our backs. One squeeze is passed between us as the mist starts to pour into the chamber where Violet was resisting, still fighting with everything she had. That’s Violet for you… rage until the very end.

(Violet Rage’s POV)

I watched as the Dracs pulled a nearly unconscious Mikey out of the room all of us were forced to stare into. I felt my breathing slow down, my heart ceasing its incessant thud to a dull thump. I'll be fine, I thought. It's not like I'm next.. And then, Sun, being Sun, chooses me to go. Of course, she’d save her baby daddy. Typical teenagers.

"Violet, your turn," I heard Korse say behind me, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Though, forgetting he was in here was the least of my worries now.

I smirked at Korse as he walked out in front of me. "Good luck getting me to crack, Korse," I sneered, half trying to tell myself I was going to be all right. "It takes a lot."

"Oh, does it?" Korse asked, and nodded to some Dracs in the room, who came and undid the straps of the chair I was strapped to. I was fighting and lawing the whole way. “Well, you’ve just given me a challenge, Jennifer.” My breathing started back up again and I dug my nails into the chair, trying to keep my seat, but one Drac hit my arm with a lot of force and knocked my defenses for a moment, just long enough to pull me out and drag me past my comrades that weren't insane yet.

I looked at Party as I passed by, who looked scared. 'I'll be fine,' I mouthed, and gave a weak smile.

Party nodded and looked at the rest of the guys, who all nodded back. 'Knock 'em dead, kid,' he mouthed back, a smile in his eyes.

I smiled back, and looked down at the floor, my hair falling in my eyes. You can handle this, Violet. You've taken worse.

The Dracs pulled dragged me through a short section of a hallway and chucked me into the nest room, making me land right over a drain. Lovely. They think I'm going to pee myself, I told myself, and chuckled. Nothing too bad then.. A needle is shoved in my arm, gas is spewed into the room. And here we go!

"Hello Jenny," I heard the world's most familiar voice say, and I looked up to see the source of the voice, heart kicking into high gear. "Run away from home, did we? That's not good... Need to be punished, do we..."

I spat at Tim's feet and grimaced. "I've got a bulletproof heart, Tim," I said, grinning like a mad man. "Do your worst."

Tim cocked his head and kicked me in the face, knocking me backwards, my breathing heavy. "My worst, huh?" he asked in his southern drawl, kicking my knee and cracking it. "Oh, Jenny... You don't know how bad I can get." He walked closer to me and squatted, his face by mine, nasty breath tickling my hair. "Now you can either say it and it won't break any bones, or suffer like you always used to."

I mustered my courage and spat in Tim's face. "Fuck you, Tim. I will not bow."

Tim stood up and kicked me again, right in the nose, blood immediately oozing out. "Never," he said, delivering a kick to my face again, knocking my eye. "Ever." He kicked my face one again, hitting my jaw and making me whine in pain. "Spit." Tim went to step on my arm and pressed his weight down. "On." I heard my bone snap and I let out a whimper, pain shooting through my face, my arm, and my knee, keeping me defenseless and still. "My." He stepped on my other arm and applied his weight again, but this time he twisted his foot and turned my arm painfully against the stone floor. "Face." The bone in my right arm snapped, and Tim lifted his foot, only to kick my face again.

From my spot on the floor, I looked up at Tim. He had every sign of anger and revenge on his face, paired with something sickening I still couldn’t put my finger on. Shivering, I looked away from his face to the wall. Metal, I thought, trying to keep myself from crying out. Who kn--

A harsh kick was given to my chest, knocking the wind out of me and causing my heart to stop for a moment. Time slowed. I saw Tim crouch down to look me in the eye and grab my face. A wide smirk slowly spread across my face, and I felt my heart beginning to beat again, fast in this slow motion time. He leaned in, pulled my face closer, and kissed me.

“I love you, Jennifer,” he whispered, and that’s where I cracked.

That one statement… I felt my eyes grow hot with tears, and I jerked my head away from Tim’s, painfully twisting my neck and causing more blood flow from my nose. No, it’s all a hallucination, it’s not happening. This is just some sickening thing happening in my mind, because of Korse. This isn’t real.

“Oh, Jenny,” Tim said, his hands on my face beginning to press in. “Don’t you love me back? Or do I have to make you love me?” When I kept silent, his face contorted with even more anger than before and he stood up, taking me with him. Lifting me him above his head, Tim laughed. “It’s hard to make a person love you, Jennifer,” he said, and threw me at the wall. My head connected and for a second I saw lights flashing, colliding with a dark haze slowly approaching. “But I’ll manage.”
I looked at Tim as I slid down the wall, pain finally making itself evident to me. “T-tim…” I whispered, body and mind screeching for mercy. “Please… Don’t…”

Tim walked over to me and squatted down again, placing his hand on my head and running his fingers through my violet shock of hair. “Oh, Jenny…” he said, still playing with my hair, “If I wanted to, I wouldn’t.” I was suddenly jerked up, Tim standing and laughing loudly. “But I don’t, baby… I never wanted to!” he threw me across the room, again, and I hit the opposite wall, one that looked like a mirror.

I wonder if everyone else can see Tim… I idly thought as I hit the mirror and slid down. Or is it just me hallucinating?

Tim laughed, and I looked up at him from the floor to see him sneering. “Jenny, everyone can see me, babe, but no one can tell what I’m doing, even Korse,” he said, and I felt my eyes grow wide with fear. No idea… Awh fuck. “Scared now? Don’t worry, you have nothing to be afraid of… now…” Tim laughed again and snapped his fingers, looking triumphant. “Hope you’re not afraid of the dark, Jennifer…”

The lights in the room shut off, and I felt my heart kicking back up from its nearly dead pace. Something brushed past my leg, and I screamed, jolting and willing my body to move away from whatever it was. An idea of what it was popped into my head, and I shut my eyes in fear, my breathing growing ragged. Please… please don’t be that… Anything but that

(Sun’s POV)

Watching. It was the worst part. Mikey, passed out from the pain. Ray, twitching and crying as we saw Violet jerk and twist in pain, trying to not cry. Frank, curled in a small ball, crying out in time with Violet’s jerks and screams. I didn’t know what she was seeing or feeling, only that it had reduced Frank to a state of being curled into the fetal position. I couldn’t do anything but watch. I couldn’t help her; I couldn’t rush in and be the hero. She’d saved me, and now I couldn’t help her. It hurt. And I knew I was next. I knew Korse would make Party Poision watch me as I writhed and screamed for mercy. I would scream, I would cry. I would become the animal they’d conditioned me to be, feral and focused only on myself, only on survival.

Survival. That’s the one thing I needed to think about. Not Ella, though she was scared and confused. Not the Voice, who had strangely disappeared. Not Infernal, who looked scared to death. It was rare for her to show emotion, but it was written all over her face now.

“She’s done. Bring her out boys.” Korse says into the microphone. Violet Rage is released, limp and a single tear sliding down her face as she’s dragged out. When she crosses the door, I run to her, jumping over Frank to get there. The Dracs attempt to dump her to the floor, but I catch her before she falls.

“Vi?” I ask. She just whimpers.

“Tim.” She says. “Make him leave.”

“Vi, It was just a hallucination.”

“No,” she shakes her head. “he was there. It happened.”

Party, he’s over now, and takes her from me. “What happened?”

“Him. Again.” She says in a small voice, much like a child’s. Party shows signs of shock, but quickly dismisses them, trying to remain stony faced.

“It was a hallucination.” Party comforts her. Korse steps over to the group of us.

That snake like smile he’s got returns to his too smooth skin. “How sickeningly sweet. Your turn.” He grabs Party, preparing to personally drag him into the room. But, I couldn’t let that happen. I step into the room, and Korse stops dead.

“You said it was my choice.” I look him dead in his depthless black eyes. “And I choose me.”

“No.” He says, and throws Party in with me. “He goes.”

“No.” I say.

A slap lands on my face. “You honestly think you can tell me no? Really pet, you should know better!” He laughs, and kicks me in the head, shoe barely missing the base of my skull. My head is swimming, and I feel dizzy. Party is trying to stop himself from helping me. “You know I control you. You’re ours.”

“No.” I say, as I’m dragged out of the room. “Don’t do this to him.” I’m begging now, pleading for Party. For him to not have to relive it.

“Too late…” Korse says, pushing a button. Dracs and more scientists appear, and Party, head hung low, hair flopping in his face like an atomic red curtain, is led to the table, where he doesn’t even fight as he’s strapped down. The second that needle is brought out, he starts jerking and twisting like a caged animal, fighting for his survival. God boy he was, trained fighter he was, he manages to get a solid bite in one a scientists hand.

“Party!” I scream, knowing her can’t hear. Frank manages to get to his feet, and stands up next to me. I put an arm around him, trying to support his weight. “Please.” I’m looking at Korse, begging for his mercy. “I will do whatever you want, if you just spare him. Please Korse…” I beg, and I get hit again, knocked to the floor. Silently, I am dying. Emotionally… I knew that this was going to kill me. Seeing Party… reliving it all…. Bob had already gone… the pain of seeing his friends in this much pain was enough as it was. The injection only intensified it. Hi mommy. Ella says, and I try to not start crying. Why do you keep falling over? Am I too heavy? I chuckle in my head, surprised she wasn’t understanding. No baby, I tell her. It isn’t you. A bad man is hurting mommy. And daddy. I may not have you much longer. But I’ll fight to keep you. A baby’s whimper is in my head. I’m only two months old. I can nearly hear the innocent smile she has. But I do know that you’ll keep me. The stuff in your genes make it hard to lose me. Besides… If I’m as stubborn as daddy thinks I’ll be, cause he thinks I’ll be like you…. I’ll be around for awhile.

I sigh, and Frank looks at me. Korse is smiling, and I hear shrieks. Simulated, far away shrieks. Not Party. I was waiting for it, expecting it. I love you. So does Daddy. I have to go. Stay quiet… I beg her. And stay out of mommies head, I’m about to say lots of bad words and get very upset. She giggles in my head, and it’s like her voice isn’t there.

It’s now that I survey the room around me. Violet, curled in a ball on the floor. I wish I could help her, take all the pain away from her. She didn’t deserve that. Frank, by my side, visibly shaken, sweat pouring down his face. Bob, curled in a ball, nervously chewing his lip ring. Ray next to Mikey, trying to comfort the blonde, trying to control the tears pouring down his face. All around me was madness, was hurt… and they hadn’t actually had what I’d had.

How could I be so selfish? Infernal, one of my best friends…. Even she looked blanker than usual. If this is what the had in store to break us…. What would they do to train and control us? It begins to occur to me that the chances of us making it out of here intact were becoming slimmer and slimmer in each passing moment. I needed to protect myself, my family. To do that, I had to be strong. Violet’s whole body jerks suddenly, pulling me from my thoughts as her back arches like somebody had put a string on her bellybutton and yanked it up. Ray screeches, and Mikey whimpers. I had to make this end, I had to remember how I got through last time.

The strength I need to find begins to trickle into my system, and my eyes flick to a muddy green. No way was I letting Korse take my family from me. He’d taken everything. My genetics, two years of my life… he couldn’t have them.

Just as I muster the courage to stand, I hear the scream.

(Party Poison’s POV)

The pain hit me like a brick wall. It’s like… every bad emotion, fear, pain, anxiety, angst, anger, depression, uncontrollable rage…. Hit you all at once. Every muscle in your body, some you don’t even know you have, begin to ache. And then the memories start. I can see Sun through the glass, just before I black out and the room goes hazy in time with the hiss of gas pouring into the room.

When the hiss stops, I look around. I’m back in the blocks… and my nose is shut off on one nostril. The faint smell of alcohol lingers in the air, almost like a fine mist. A fine white powder, the color of fresh snow in the mountains, the color of all things that define winter, is set up in a neat little line in front of me. I vaguely consider stopping, but then I do it anyways. The powder is snorted, and my mind fogs even harder. Within minutes of the excruciating burn up my nose the burst of energy kicks in. I fly around the room, singing at the top of my lungs. The lust the drug commands, the beat of your heart, as it speeds up… you feel like a bird, soaring through the heavens, free as can be.

It was even actually lyrics, not at first. It was just random strings of letters, pouring out of my mouth. I could run, I could fly, and I could dance. I could save the world. Nothing was wrong, the world was wonderful. As my brain begins to fog harder, I know I’m coming down. I reach for my stash, and do line after line, four in a row, and all in quick succession.

After a good four hours of being King of the world…. I fall. It’s like I’m on top of a mountain one second, and then a big white burst of energy shoves me down off the cliffs edge, without any warning other than a pounding headache. I’m falling, falling faster than ever before. When I hit rock bottom, I hit the floor. Black haired head on the floor, the rest of me curled into a ball as my entire body aches and burns and wishes for sweet, sweet death. It’s like three hundred thousand punches and kicks are landing on every inch of my body, all at once, in rapid, non rhythmical succession. The world looses the brightest spark of life it had just minutes ago. My head burns and pounds, my muscles ache and spasm, I’m horribly depressed. And then the scene changes. I’m with Mikey, we’re younger.

The room, it’s not the blocks. It’s a church. Church… those were the days. I’m not in skinny jeans anymore, instead, suit pants and a jacket. What’s going on?

“Ashes to ashes…” A deep booming voice says from in front of me. I look to the altar, a wreath of blood red flowers adorning a black box that stands on a table front and center. The top of the casket is closed, and on the sides, I can see the silver inscription that I knew so well ‘So long and goodnight’. The moment sets in, and I know then and there that this is the last time I will ever see my grandmother. The emotions kick in, rushing up through my eyes in the form of crystalline tears that pour down my face silently. Mikey, sitting next to me, squeezes my hand, and Frank looks ahead, stony faced and trying to find the words to support me. A piece of me has died in this moment, and it can’t ever be reclaimed.

“Gee?” My brothers voice whispers as we file out into the rain, pallbearers carrying my grandmothers casket. “Gee, we have to get to the car.”

“I know Mikes…” I whisper. The rain is pouring down, and though he holds an umbrella, I refuse to stand under it. The casket is loaded into the hearse, and that’s when I let the tears fall. They pour down my face, but in the rain, you can’t tell. As the casket is loaded, a crack of thunder ends the memory.

The haze around me lifts, and I’m jerking and fighting against the restraints that hold me to the icy metal table. I can feel the wet trails that tears have made, and oddly, I am comforted by the fact that I hadn’t peed myself in the process of the torture. Well, at least that was a plus. Two Dracs enter the room, and I suddenly remember the first thing Sun told me during the first fight class we had where I pinned her.

“Fight like a” the cuss word she used was hazy, I liked mofo in this situation. “animal. Never stop fighting, because there is always the chance of escape.” And then she’d punched me in the jaw and knocked me out for two hours. If my muscles didn’t feel sorer than anything I’d ever felt , I’d smile at the memory. The glass in front of me clears up, and I see Sun, tears running down her tan face, visibly scared. Before I can do anything the Dracs have unstrapped me, and I’m giving the floor a hug before I can stand up properly. Kicks start landing on my body, and I shriek in pain. Thankfully, the natural protection instinct I have kicks in. My head and neck are covered with my shaking hands, and as the beating continues, I wish for nothing more than death, for the black edges beginning to form around my vision sets in for good, taking me from this horrible moment, and into darkness. The darkness creeps in more, and when it reduces my vision, already blurring periodically, I look through the glass, wanting the last thing I saw to be her. Her eyes flick to that lilac color that means she loves me, and I smile weakly as the darkness sets in, and my head falls to the ground with a sickening crack.

(Sun’s POV)

The strangled shriek I’ve been holding back finally pours out of my mouth when I see th beating Party Poison is receiving. Oh my god… this can’t be happening. Violet is screeching cusswords at the top of her lungs, Bob and Mikey and Ray are crying. Frank keeps jerking and yelping in time with the blows that fall on his friends body. I am surrounded by pain and misery, and yet, I still have a glimmer of hope in my body, knowing there’s a reason I was saved for last. Korse takes his sweet time, letting my boyfriend be beaten until his head finally drops. It’s over… he’s done. The Dracs pull him out, bruised and bloody, and throw him at my feet unceremoniously. Automatically, I drop down to his level and start sobbing. Violet crawls over to us, and hugs me tightly to her. My head puts itself on his chest, sobbing over the body of my fallen boyfriend.

“He would’ve died anyways. Your time to go pet. You’ve put it off, selfish little thing…” Korse says, and the Dracs gab my arms. Launching into animalistic like snarls, I begin fighting. I punch one in the face, and send him flying into a wall. Violet moves our family backwards, giving me room to do work. I lay waste to the hoard of white clothed figures that approach, and Korse looks actually fearful for once in his life. Good, let that little bastard fear for his life. My skin is burning with an anger uncomprabale to anything ever felt before, and I know my eyes are blood red, with my pupils a tiny pin prick. Everything was hyper sensitive. I could smell the sweat and tears pouring off my family, I could taste the fear in the air… I could see the tiny smirk Korse held… smell the blood from the other room…. I knew these were the mods I was supposed to have, and knew I was scaling them back. No longer was I a human, just a cold blooded killing machine.

“Your turn my pet!” Korse says, and something grabs me from behind. I try to fight it, but it’s stronger than your average Drac. “Did you think we didn’t prep for this moment? Welcome to the world of SCARCROW.” He laughs, and I continue to bite and scratch and make cheap shots as I’m dragged into the room. The moment those restraints tighten around me, I know I’m royally screwed. They hook me up to an IV, and it’s pumping the liquid I’d seen go into my friends into me. In the instant it takes for it to touch my veins and mingle with my blood, I feel the pain hit me. Everybody else pain and despair crashes over me like a tidal wave, drowning me in the flurry of emotion. The small glimmer, the smallest spark I had of hope is extinguished by the proverbial wave of misery. It made me want to crawl out of my skin, it made me want to cave in on myself. Why did I not have a memory coming up?!? Was this my breaking? No, this wouldn’t work, I had to remain strong. More IV’s are hooked into me, and I receive a sharp hit to my head when I snarl an insult out. A slow hiss begins to break the sound of my shrieks and calls of pain, and I know it’s about to start.

The world goes misty for a moment, the lines and colors swirling, and I’m back in the room I described to the kids on orientation day. My hair isn’t white blonde, still golden, but it lacks shine and is limp and sad looking. Yes, I was vain, welcome to being a teenager with a boyfriend to impress. My skin is ghostly pale, and looks sallow almost, like I’m made of wax. My body is lean, too skinny, my bones jutting sharp angle through the thin hospital clothing I was in. Soon, I’m on the table, being experimented on. The knife rips into my arm, and the blood begins to drop, falling like rose petals onto the clean white linoleium floor, staining it pink from splatter. A liquid that has been mainlined into my veins begins to make me burn worse than anything I’d ever felt. I know, in the real world, I’m screeching in pain, my head cloying from the pain, swimming through the fog, begging for a reprieve from this torment already. Drops placed in my eyes, they burn like dry ice does. It’s an icy burn, like icing a pulled muscle, and the hurt that comes with that before it goes numb.

I’m forced to relive that week’s pain, all in one short hour. Every hit, needle, knife, slash, chemical… it’s all compounded into one big Welcome Home gift from Korse, and forced onto my brain. The pain, it hits first, but its worse than it was a thousand times over. The pain of the others, it doesn’t help it makes me want to cry.

When that horrible memory is over, I’m back in the chamber, and I can see Infernal looking at me through the glass. I zero in on her lips, watching her mouth words to me.

“Be Strong” she mouths, and I nod my understanding to her. The hiss starts again, and I know the emotional pain was about to start. Before I know what’s going on, I’m in the cities, watching my family be dragged from our house, as building burn and Dracs swarm the streets.

“Siss!” I scream, seeing my little sister be kicked and hit by some stupid Drac. Pushing through the crowd is nearly impossible, especially in converse and skinny jeans. I try to get through anyways; I had to save my sister. She was my sister; I couldn’t bear to watch her die. No, I would save her, even if I went down in the process. The drac kicks her some more, and holds a gun to the back of her head. That was it. It was over. I’m frozen, police guards holding me back behind barriers as I watch my family be excuted. They save her for last. I’m sobbing, tears running down my face as I struggle. What good were modifications, if I couldn’t save the girl that mattered most?

“NO!” I scream, and my sister glances at me, right before the blast goes, and she slumps in a heap. “You idiots! She’s a child! A CHILD!” I’m screeching at that Drac, and whip my ray gun out, not caring that my cover was blown. I pop a single shot off, hitting me square in the temple. Two more, one to the head, another to the chest, in true killjoy fashion. After holstering my ray gun, I pop three shots off in the sky, and run like hell. Pushing through the crowd, trying to escape the horror I had just seen, that was easy. A car, parked with the keys in the ignition is waiting.

“Drive!” I scream, jumping into the passenger side. The red head inside pulls out quickly.

“You okay?” he asks. That’s Ryan for you… always comforting people. “You look horrible.”

“They killed her.” I sob, letting myself fully cry for the first time in ages. “They shot her. Execution style.” He understands immediately, and speeds up to a even 120, speeding for the Diner.

“We’ll get Leslie, he’s with Defying and Pony right now. He’ll make you feel better.” He comforts me, and I continue sobbing. Northern Lights, Ryan’s twin brother, he was quiet. Cyanide Killer (Ryan), he was the open and louder of the two. Same looks, different personalities completely. If I wasn’t sobbing my mascara and eyeliner off, I’d laugh. I hear sirens, and Cyanide glances behind us. He speeds up, and suddenly I see ray gun blasts knocking through the air, attempting to hit us as Cyanide Killer weaves around the open desert space. He was driving the way I’d taught him to when under attack. It’s hard to hit something who’s path you don’t know, and he was imploying that tatic right now, making it nearly impossible to hit us. A ray beam hits our back tire, and Ryan looses control of the car, sending us straight into another line of cars infront of us.

“Oh sh-” I scream –but am cut off by our combined shrieks of fear-, knowing what was coming. The car is hit, and goes spiraling and flipping through the air. We have to make it all the way around at least five or six times. Cyanide and I are thrown around, seatbelts breaking upon impact, just from the sheer force of the object we hit. He’s sent flying through the windshield, and I’m gone through the window attached to the truck. I can see him land on a thin sheet of cracked and shattered glass, quickly surrounded by a group of Draculoids. Somewhere, as I fly through the air, I’m glad we didn’t take his car. Landing with a ruthless thud on the unforgiving metal hood of the pristine, white BLI vehicle, I snap back to my senses, and watch as Cyanide is speedily taken into handcuffs and subdued. He’s loaded into a transport van, and I know in that moment I’m done for. No emotion could flood me right now other than sorrow and the pure, aching need for relief of this hell I now lived in. Ryan, he was so sweet, he’d never last in the labs. He was tough, but still, he was too honest to make it there. They’d prey on his brother; use the threat of Northern Lights against him. Those two were all they had in the world; they’d lost adoptive parents in a raid a year ago.
Right now, all I had left was self preservation, so I do what any good KillJoy does. I do what Korse yells at me to keep doing. I do what the animals would do.

I start running.
________________________________

Author:
Well, how's that for a cliffhanger? i've been recieving a lot of emails lately guys... and iI'm just gonna come out and say it... I WILL NOT BE DOING A VIOLET/SUN PAIRING. EW. I KNOW HER IN REAL LIFE. WE GO TO CLASSES TOGETHER. AND RIDE THE BUS. EW. PLEASE STOP ASKING ME FOR IT. IT WILL NOT HAPPEN. N a side note, I have a favor to ask! REVIEWREVIEWREVIEW! No, that's not it X3. Actually, what I need requires artistic talent! I'm looking for somebody to draw this charecter.... NEON SUN! I need somebody to draw her for me. More specifics on her.... she kinda looks a bit like Taylor Momsen, with LONG hair. When it was all white blonde? She looks like her, just a teeny tiny bit though. Um... Draw her in whatever outfit you like.... winner will get some kind of reward that is TBA.


Anybody still reading this little fic? if not... I can end it. I mean seriously, it'd KILL me to do that, cause I have some wonderful surpises in store (and NEW CHARECTERS! :D). But... if nobody is still reading... (and I know some friends of mine aren't anymore.) I'll just kinda use the alt. ending... and that'll be that. Hm... y'all want your hint yet? XD

So... REVIEW AND RATE AND SUCH!
Live forever in the lights you make,
xoxo A

Other than that... is anyone still reading this thing? I feel like I have two people really :(
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