Frank struggles to tell Gerard something.
"Yes," Reply’s Paul, oblivious to my shock. "We've looked, and we can't find any other relatives of Mikey apart from Gerard. I'm afraid this means he's going to have identify the body." Oh no, not good. I can just imagine now how Gerard is going to react. Well, I won't actually blame him, it must be terribly upsetting and disturbing to have to see someone you love, lying dead and decaying in some cold morgue.
"Isn't there another way? I mean, I don't think he would handle it
very well." I say, and then begin chewing on my lip.
"No, I'm afraid there isn't, a family member needs to say that it is
actually Mikey Way, for legal reasons."
"But, but you know it's him!" I say, even though I know it's pointless
"Actually we don't. We need an identification, for legal reasons."
Paul repeats. I sigh in defeat. "Is Gerard available to talk right
now?" He asks
"Great, well, obviously I'm going to need to talk to him..."
"Wait... Do you think that I could break the news to him? Would- would that be okay?" I know that this is stupid of me, that he should be told by Paul, who, after all is the actual police officer leading the investigation. I think Paul is going to tell me no, but to my surprise he doesn't.
"Okay, you can, if you think that would be best. Of course I will have to pop by one day to talk to you both about the investigation fully. Would tomorrow be okay?"
"As long as it's in the afternoon, Gerard has a doctors appointment."
"So, would four be alright?"
"Four would be perfect."
"Great, I'll see you then,"
"Bye." I say, and then hang up. When I reach the door to mine and
Gerard’s room, I take a deep breath. I open the door to see the man himself sitting on the bed. He's drawing something, a look deep concentration on his pretty face.
"Hey.." I begin as I walk into the room, Gerard's head snaps up, and then he smiles at me. What was I thinking? I can't tell they've found Mikey, it would be like hitting a puppy. I sit down beside him on the bed and open my mouth to talk, before finding myself completely lost for words.
"Frank? What is it?" Gerard asks me, his eyes full of concern. Okay this is it, I’ll just tell him.
"I've just... I was just wondering if you want a cup of coffee?" I
choke out, wincing at how odd my voice sounds. I knew I'd chicken out of telling him.
"Oh, I'd love some coffee." Gerard beams at me, oblivious to my inner turmoil. I slink off to go and make Gerard his coffee, disgusted at my own lack of balls. Once I've got the coffee I sit back down on the bed and begin my internal debate I have on how I'm going to tell him.
Unfortunately I don't get a chance to decide. Gerard must sense my unease because he asks. "Frank, what's going on? Please tell me." His bottom lip is sticking out and his gloved hands are wrapped tightly around a steaming cup of coffee. I take a deep breath and turn to face him.
"I had a call from DCI Jones.." Gerard’s eyebrows raise slightly but apart from that his face stays the same, expectant of my news. "He- he said they've found Mikey's body."
Gerard’s already pale face gets significantly lighter and he swallows.
"Oh." He says in a small voice. I want to hold his hand but he's now griping the cup of coffee so hard his knuckles have gone white, so I place a hand on his knee instead.
"They want you to identify the body." I say softly. Gerard nods, looking down into his untouched coffee. We sit in remorse silence for a couple of minutes, until I finally break it.
"You okay?" I ask the silent man beside me. Gerard shakes his head, and for a second I think I'm not going to get anything else out of him, but them he says in a voice quieter than a whisper.
"I'm tired." And then he finally moves a hand from his mug of coffee to tuck a stray strand of hair behind his ear.
"Okay, um, why don't you get some rest?" I say. I take the mug out of his hand as he moves to lie down. I begin sipping at Gerard's
unwanted coffee, not at all tired myself, and Gerard's breathing evens out into that of a sleeping man within a minute of his head touching the pillow.
The next morning I get up before Gerard to make pancakes;
something I've learnt to be his favourite. There's a special reason I'm making him his favourite food; It's the day he has to go to the clinic to get his first injection. When it's only a couple of hours to go until the appointment I begin to think about waking him, but in the end I don't need to. Gerard ambles into the kitchen of his own accord.
He sports bare feet, which are arcing upwards away from the cold floor, and he's wearing baggy, black pyjama bottoms and a top to match. There's a blanket wrapped tightly around his upper body and his wild hair is sticking out in odd places. His eyes are puffy and pink from sleep as he blinks heavily. "Do I smell pancakes?" He asks while his button nose screws up, not even bothering with a 'good morning'.
"You sure do smell pancakes. Now sit down and I'll bring them to you." I say with a grin. Gerard does as he's told and sits down as I bring him his beloved pancakes. I flick the TV on and we spend some watching cartoons; you're never too old for Tom and Jerry. It's very nice to be sitting in the kitchen eating pancakes and watching cartoons, but of course good things never last.
"Gerard... I think we better get going, you don't wanna be late for your appointment." I say reluctantly. Gerard makes a sound of protest and puts his arms on the table, burying his face in them. "C'mon... It'll be okay." I say. Gerard doesn't say anything in reply but gets up, making his way to our bedroom to get dressed. And after a lot of faffing around he is finally ready to go. The clinic is actually quite far away; I drive quickly, not wanting to be late.
Once we get inside the clinic we're met by a quiet waiting room with a desk in the corner. There's a woman sitting behind the desk on the phone. Gerard and I approach the desk and then awkwardly wait for the woman to finish her conversation. Once she has, she turns her attention to us.
"Can I help you?"
"Um, I'm Gerard Way, I, um, h-have an appointment for 11'o'clock." He mumbles. His eyes seem to be fixated on his shoes, while his shaking hands fiddle with the bottom of his coat. His face is half covered by his hair.
"Take a seat, the nurse will see you in a minute." Says the receptionist brightly, gesturing towards the waiting area. Gerard
begins to walk off quickly, and I follow him, at a normal pace. I sit down next to him and he looks at me with a somewhat apologetic look.
"I'm not very good at talking to people." He says.
"I just get scared."
"Well.. You talk to me fine."
"Yeah well you're..." He trails off.
"I'm what?" I probe.
"I don't know... I guess you're just the only person I know I can
trust." Aw, he feels like I'm the only person he can trust.
As endearing as I find this, I have to admit he could be wrong. I know he can trust me, but he doesn't know for sure, in fact, him living with me and having no where else to go, as well as his apparent 'fear of talking to people' makes this the perfect situation for me to take advantage of him. Not that I ever would.
"Hey... You nervous about your injection?" I ask him softly.
"More than you know." He replies honestly, biting his lip.
"Do you want me to come in with you?"
"Please do." He says, an then he smiles a little. I take hold of his
"Gerard Way to room one please." Comes the voice on the intercom a few minutes later. At that I give a nervous Gerard’s hand one last squeeze before we begin walking towards room one.