"Who did you lose it to?"
Friday morning Mikey announces that he doesn’t feel well. I know he’s just doing it so he can be at home. I’ve noticed he doesn’t really act normal anymore and always smells weird.
After spending a few hours in my room I get bored and venture down stairs. As Mikey see’s me pass by he drops the remote. I guess it’s just weird for him to see me up and walking around. I wave and continue towards the kitchen. Pouring myself a bowl of cereal I go to sit with Mikey.
“Hey,” I say feeling Mikey’s eyes on my face. I wish he wasn’t acting this way. I want everything to be as normal as it was before all this shit happened. It’s the only way I can get better.
“You’re out of bed,” he answers, pausing the TV and turning to look at me. “How are things?”
“I feel better,” I answer. “Can I tell you something?”
“Last time I checked you could tell me anything,” Mikey answers and I laugh a little even though it’s not that funny. Laughing just feels good.
“You have to promise not to tell Donna or my mom or Gerard,” I say giving him a stern look.
In return Mikey just holds out his pinkie. We tap them together looking each other directly in the eyes. This is a serious matter. Mikey pinkie swore so if he slips up I get to behead him.
“Garry didn’t take my virginity,” I say. I figure it’s best to just get it out there.
Knowing my cousin this is what he’s been stressing about most. Mikey’s always been big on me loosing something like that to someone I love; I just want him to know I did.
“Then who did you lose it to?”
“Frank,” I answer shutting my eyes. “That’s why we where fighting. I though he didn’t value our friendship…that he just wanted me for my body.”
Mikey nods and I know he’s processing this, “I’m glad you lost it to someone you love and not to….”
I frown. Ever since the incident Mikey can’t say his name. It’s not that I mind but I feel that saying it will help my cousin recover. Part of my healing process is to help others. I need the people I love to be alright.
“You can say his name, Mikey.”
He shakes his head, “No, I really can’t.”
Sighing I nod. I know he can do this. If I can do it he most definitely can.
“We’ll do it together. Ready? One…two…three.”
Together Mikey and I spit out his name, “Garry.”
“Garry,” Mikey says on his own frowning, “I don’t like it.”
I pat him on the back. This is hard for us all. Staying strong is what we’ve got to do now. Together we can get through this. I know it.
Around nine Frank comes by to pick me up. Both Aunt Donna and my mother know where I am going and that I’ll probably end up at Frank’s. We aere told not to stay out too late but I’m pretty positive both adults know that rule will not be followed.
The night air is a little chilly, making me glad I had chosen ripped up jeans over shorts. The black concert tee does nothing to keep my upper body warm but I don’t complain.
It’s about a twenty minute walk from my house to Liz’s. I don’t mind walking, actually I kinda like it. Just being out of the house is a relief. I spend a lot of time over the last few weeks just cooped up inside.
Loud music pours out of Liz’s house. I don’t recognize the song but it causes the windows to rattle and a smile to play across my face. I’ve missed this, being able to have fun and enjoy myself. As Frank and I walk through the front door a few people stop and look at us. This makes me feel a little bit uncomfortable. I guess it will just take a while for people to get used to seeing me out again.
Suddenly there is a pair of slender arms around me, squealing in my ear. Liz has managed to find me before I could surprise her. “I’ve missed you Amber!”
I laugh as she takes a step back, allowing me to breathe, “Missed you too. Happy birthday Liz!”
“Aww, thanks sweetie, have fun,” Liz says before disappearing into the crowd.
I do a she says. Letting loose I drink a few beers and dance around. Frank is always there, watching me, even while he’s talking to others. I’ve also noticed he hasn’t touched the alcohol. I hope I’m not causing this. I want him to have as much fun as I am.
Around twelve o’clock someone brings out Twister. Playing along with a bunch of drunken people I only feel uncomfortable when I get trapped under someone. Frank looks terrified but I try and keep calm. I’ve got to get used to stuff like this again.
Two o’clock and the party ends, most people passed out in various places around the house. Frank and I whisper our goodbyes to Liz before heading home. I’m not drunk which keep me quiet. This is a good thing. I don’t want Aunt Donna and mom to know just how late we’re getting in.
Frank helps me up the stairs even though I don’t need it. He sets out one of his t-shirts for me to put on before heading down the hall towards the bathroom. I change quickly turning on the Xbox once done.
I want to let things settle. Last time I was in this room I lost my virginity. No, I don’t regret it anymore, but this room needs new memories…less awkward ones.
Frank comes back, raising an eyebrow at me as he sits down. I love his smile, it’s perfect. I chew on my lips wondering if I should kiss him. I still don’t really know it Frank like me like that so I decide against it.
“You sure you’re up for this?” he asks putting on his game face.
I just laugh before hitting the green start button.
Frank was right. I loose terribly. I’m a little rusty having not played in almost two months. After the third game I get my rhythm back and start to win. As normal Frank is a sore loser demanding various rematches. He just doesn’t like the fact I’m better at Mortal Combat that he is.
Growing tired I pause the game and lean against Frank, enjoying the feeling of his fingers running over my cheek. This is normal. I like this. This is how things were before everything.
“She rolls the window down and she talks over the sound of the cars that pass us by and I don’t why but she’s changed my mind. Would you look at her? She looks at me. She’s got me thinking about her constantly but she don’t know how I feel. And she carried on without a doubt. I wonder if she’s figured out I’m crazy for this girl. Yeah, I’m crazy for this girl. She was the one to hold me, the night the sky fell down and what was I thinking when the world didn’t end? Why didn’t I know what I know now? Would you look at her? She looks at me. She’s got me thinking about her constantly but she don’t know how I feel. And she carried on without a doubt. I wonder if she’s figured out I’m crazy for this girl. Yeah, I’m crazy for this girl. She looks at me. She’s got me thinking about her constantly but she don’t know how I feel. And she carried on without a doubt I wonder if she’s figured out I’m crazy for this girl,” Frank sings me to sleep.
I think that’s one of my favorite songs.
Note: Here is another chapter. I like this one so I hope you guys do too. Review to let me know. :)