"You're checking me out aren't you?"
I leave Amber in her room to change clothes as I searched through Gerard’s stuff for something to wear. Eventually I come across some black skinnies and a Black Flag shirt. I fluff my hair a little bit with my fingers before heading back.
As I push open the door Amber freezes, her pajama pants still in hand. Her green eyes are wide. I don’t know what to do. Giving her an apologetic smile I start to pull the door shut. Her next words shock me.
“It’s okay. I have to get used to things like this. Just come sit on the bed,” she says.
Shrugging I stride across the room and plop down on her bed rather proud of myself for taking care of her stuff. The posters might not be in the exact right place but Amber doesn’t seem to notice.
Although I try hard not to I glance over at the half naked Amber, her shirt now hitting the floor, I can't help it. I am a teenage guy after all. I smile. I’m glad she’s getting better. Soon she’ll be back at school and I’ll tell her everything.
“You’re checking me out aren’t you?” Amber says without even turning around.
Smirking I avert my gaze, “Of course not.”
A sweatshirt gets thrown in my direction. I toss it back happy to hear laughter. God, how I’ve missed this girl. Instead of catching it Amber hits me lightly in the arm. I pull her into a tight hug, our laughter colliding as she squirms, trying to get free.
Eventually I let her go, allowing the tiny red head to crawl on top of me, attacking me with those fingers of hers. No matter how hard I try I can’t stop from giggling. I’m ticklish and she knows it. Without even thinking I flip around so that Amber is under me.
Her eyes grow wide, a look of fear plastered across her face. I instantly move away feeling a little broken as she brings her knees to her chest, eyeing me warily. The last thing I want to do is make her scared of me. What a stupid thing to do.
“Amber…” I say moving back towards her slowly. “Sorry. That was my fault. I should know better. Are you alright?”
She nods moving to sit next to me, her hand resting in mine, “Yeah. I’m not scared of you. You just had me pinned down and I panicked. I’ll get used to things like that again...eventually.”
I kiss her cheek, “I’m sorry.”
She nuzzles her head in the crook of my neck, “Don’t be. I’m getting better Frank. I want to go back to school. My mom is calling tomorrow to see if I can start on Monday.”
“How is it that you’re so brave?” I ask.
She’s come so far in the past few weeks. I know inside things are still confusing for her and I’ve still go to be careful but it’s amazing. She’s the strongest girl I know. I’m proud to call her my best friend.
“I’ve got you,” she answers with a smile. “I started drawing again.”
Amber is quiet for a few minutes, playing with my fingers. I constantly wonder what is going through her head. Is she happy? Can she tell I’m madly in love with her? Does she feel the same way? Is she nervous about school? Is she doing all this to make us think she’s better?
“Frank, does Devlin still hate me?”
I frown. Devlin is not someone I really want to bring Amber back to but she’s there and we’ll have to deal with her. I try and figure out a nice way to put things eventually deciding to just tell the truth. I’m pretty sure it’s what Amber wants.
“She pretty much hates you. There’s a new rumor everyday. I know it’s probably not what you wanted to hear but it’s the truth,” I answer.
She just nods, “I don’t want people sugar coating things around me. It won’t help anything. I need everyone to just be normal and to act normal. If they don’t then I won’t get better.”
“So me tackling you on the bed….” I trail off waiting for her to respond.
“Is something I’ll eventually get used to again. Don’t be afraid to do it though. If you don’t introduce me to it again you’ll never be able to do it.”
“Did your therapist help you realize that?”
“No, I figured it out for myself. I did a lot of figuring out while in the hospital.”
I nod. There is a question I want to ask but I’m scared to. Amber is still so delicate in my eyes. I want her to get better and I know the only way that will happen is if I act like myself. I’m just afraid of hurting her or making her hate me.
“Amber,” I start trying to word this correctly. “Did your time there make you feel…crazy?”
She chews her lip for a little bit, “For the first two days I didn’t feel anything cause of the pills. Then once the dosage was lowered I did feel crazy. I was convinced they were never going to let me out. My therapist did help me realize that I’m not mentally unstable…I’m just depressed.”
“I missed you,” I say.
“I missed you too. Has Liz had her birthday party yet?”
I’m once again taken aback by something that has come out of Amber’s mouth. Does she want to go? I won’t stop her because I know I can’t. If she wants to go she’ll go, Amber's stubborn. I’ll be there right next to her making sure she’s safe. Maybe it’ll be good to get her out of the house and back around people who care.
“No, it’s this weekend on Friday. I can take you if you’d like,” I answer stroking her damp hair.
“I think Liz would like that but don’t tell her. I want it to be a surprise,” Amber answers smiling up at me.
I kiss the top of her nose, “Are you tired?”
She shrugs but crawls under the covers anyway; I join her. It’s nice to have Amber back. I’ve figured out I don’t much like sleeping without her there. I hope she feels the same way.
“I’m so glad to be back in my own bed.”
“The beds at the hospital were hard and had straps. You know what else?”
“No, tell me.”
“They didn’t have you.”
Her words warm my heart. She cares. Even if it’s just a friend thing. Then again I can’t help but wonder, could she still be in love with me? After everything that’s happened could she still mean what she said? I decide that she can. This, along with Amber’s sweet lilac smell, helps me get the best sleep I’ve gotten in the past week.
Note: Sorry if this chapter sucks. It's kind of a filler cause I want the party to be from Amber's point of view. Anyway, I want to let you all know I am participating in Nation Novel Writing Month. What does this mean to you? Well, really all it means is that during the month of November updates will probably be few and far between. Sorry. I promise I'll update a shit ton before hand. :)