‘Of course’ I said from behind my hair. I knew this wasn’t the time for smart arse answers but she shouldn’t have taken me away from Frankie. I was happy with Frankie. I peered up at her from under my eyelashes as she gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were pure white. I wonder how long it’ll be until she snaps that thing in half.
‘Then why didn’t you stop him?’ her voice was laced with venom as she flipped off another car driver.
Because I wanted it. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted him to take me right there and fucking then. ‘I don’t know’ a growl escaped her throat as she slammed on the breaks as soon as the car entered the driveway. She then dragged me back into the house, locking all the doors and windows so I couldn’t get back out. Great.
It’s been months since I’d last seen Gerard, as much as I hated to admit it, I missed him like fuck. As they say, you never know how much something means to you until it’s gone. Life has really done down hill for me, i've started my self harm again, and i'm drinking a lot more. Katy helps keep my mind of things sometimes, but I know she’s slowly giving up on me; like I am with Gerard. Sometimes I would see him outside the shop, I was sure of it, but by the time I got out onto the street he was never there.
I stood in front of the cracked mirror of my bathroom and slowly set down the razor blade onto the side of the sink. I rinsed my now crimson arm under the cold water and wrapped it in a new bandage. I took in my reflection; my greasy black Mohawk and fading red sides and my pale strained skin. I gasped quietly as I ran my fingers over the dark bags under my eyes, and looked straight back into my bloodshot broken eyes. Gerard also haunted my dreams at night, which forced me into only having a few short hours of sleep every night for the past four months. I sigh and pull down the sleeves of my hoody and set out for another long day at work.
‘Your late again Frankie! You need to stop doing this or the boss will notice!’ Katy runs up to me as soon as I shuffle through the front doors, a look of worry on her face ‘Frankie you look sick! If it’s that bad then you should-‘
‘I’m fine’ I say through gritted teeth. I feel a pang of guilt for being so harsh to her, but I could do without the sympathy.
I sat down on the stool behind the counter, picking at the scabs that littered both of my arms and serving the occasional customer. The day was slow and I was slowly slipping into boredom. I rested my head on the desk in an attempt to get a few more minutes sleep, but the bell above the door told me I would soon have a customer. I slowly looked up and glanced at the two men walking towards me. I blinked and looked at the men again, and watched wide eyed as the shorter man wrapped his arm round the taller's waist. I could never mistake that red hair.
If it were possible, my heart broke more as I realised that the two men were holding each other closely. Now I really wanted my life to end. I wished that the grime caked floor would swallow me up, anything to get me away from here. ‘Um, can I have two of my usual please…’ it stung to hear his voice again, like it was stabbing through my broken pieces, into my raw flesh.
‘What’s your usual?’ I say, not meeting his eye.
‘Caramel latte, please’ i turned around to start making the two coffee’s when i was interrupted ‘oh and frank, this is my brother Mikey' he gestured to the man next to him.
‘…hi’ I said weakly as I made the coffee’s with shaky hands. Well, at least he didn’t have a new partner…
‘Mikey, go get us a table… ill be right over’ I could hear the footsteps of the taller man walking away ‘um… Frankie… I know it probably doesn’t mean anything to you but I’m really sorry about before but if you just give me some time to expl-‘
‘Five minutes. That’s all you’ve got’ I turned around and slammed his hands down on the counter, looking at Gerard through my fringe, hoping my eyes wouldn’t betray my emotions.
‘thank you… well, Lindsay didn’t like the way we were looking at each other… so she locked me in the house and wouldn’t let me out of her sight for months, until I realised what I really needed. So we broke up’ my breath caught in my throat at those last few words. He wouldn’t want you anyway.
‘You were gone for so long though’ frank whispered, looking me in the first time. His eyes were blurred over with unshed tears. I walked round the counter and encased him in my arms.
‘I love you Frankie, I’m so sorry…’ my own tears were sliding down my face, dropping off and nestling in franks hair.
‘I love you too, gee’ he too was crying, as I pulled his chin up to look at me. Ever so slowly, we both moved closer, pressing our lips softly together. Finally.
After a few minutes, I pulled away and wiped both of our tears before taking the coffees and wandering back over to my brother. I was startled by the sound of my phone and checked it quickly.
‘This isn’t over. I will make your life hell. Lyn-z.’