Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Harry Potter and Unfamiliar Power

Chapter Eight- Simple

by claire13524 3 Reviews

There was a haunting silence as they waited for the response. When the answer came it was spoken quietly; the figure had the whole class’s undivided attention. Warning; cliff hanger

Category: Harry Potter - Rating: PG-13 - Genres: Horror - Characters: Harry - Published: 2011/10/23 - Updated: 2012/03/04 - 2513 words


  • Harry Potter and Unfamiliar Power

    (#) dammitall 2011-10-24 12:06:00 AM

    Just finished reading your story. I enjoyed the amount of detail and developement put into the dark beginning. There are many people who might be put off by the slower developement, but I see a lot of potention in your story and look forward to seeing where you choose to take this.
    You have it right a beta is essentially a proofreader, who reads your updates before you post them, correcting errors, and depending on the beta sometimes offering input towards editing. You have few errors considering that you don't have a beta, but if you decide you want to have one just ask in you desciption and your authors notes, someone with time who is interested may show up.
    keep up the good work

    Author's response

    Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for my first ever review. I actually squealed with delight when i refreshed the page. Although i then realized it could be bad so i ran back over to my laptop to read it. I am very glad you were the first person to review. Thank you for confirming what a beta is, its nice to know i was right, i'll consider it when i have more time
    Thank you so much xxx
  • Harry Potter and Unfamiliar Power

    (#) dammitall 2011-10-24 12:06:57 AM

  • Harry Potter and Unfamiliar Power

    (#) Hippothestrowl 2012-03-07 01:18:27 AM

    Browsed the last couple of chapters but there does seem to be a little improvement in writing quality compared to the start though a long way to go. The story still is promising.

    This Defence class started interestingly enough but then totally left me baffled when it abruptly ended a minute later without any teaching at all. What is all that about? That is not good storytelling. You need to give the students' reactions, their annoyance at the class being cancelled, etc. otherwise the reader is left confused and wondering if you've just lost ten paragraphs or something?

    Author's response

    Sorry it took me log to comment, i have been really busy. Glad you think its improving. I will take your comments on board and maybe edit it but will be after awhile as I am very busy with school right now.
    Keep reviewing i really appreciate it.

    Claire xx

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