"Break a leg big bro," My brother said so calmly. How the hell wasn't he freaking out? Not only was I shitting a brick about the show but I was also incredily confused about the earlier events in the bus. He must have felt a little nervous at least.
The short walk to the stage felt like it had taken an eternity. The lights were still down but as fans started to see shadows, screaming filled the room. The start of Na Na Na kicked in and I could see everyone get excited and shouting along with Dr D. The lights went up and I heard a cheer rise from all the kids whose hearts longed to see their favourite band. I didn't even open my mouth before the whole fucking place burst into song, each individual 'Na' being projected as if it was there last god damn words.
The words flowed freely from my lips and as they did, so did the anxiety I had been feeling since we had stepped foot back stage. I put my heart and soul into every word I sung knowing that this would be one of our best shows.
Even though I was confused and slightly scared still, I was putting all of that into every word that escaped my lungs. I had an amazing band behind me even if one of them was slightly bi-polar at the moment, they were my brothers and I would do anything for them. They were so talented in their own ways and completely individual. No one could say we were all the same because that just wasn't the case at all, we all had our little things that ticked us off, we all had those things that we were so interested in that sometimes the others would want to kill us so we would just shut up. We were ourselves and that was why I loved these guys so much.
When we had finished the first half of the set I knew that we were awesome that night and It could not be better to be stage at time like this. I felt like I belonged there with my three brothers making people happy with our music. I looked over at the kids pressed against the barrier, exhausted and struggling for breath but still enjoying every second of this experience.
I'm Not Okay kicked in and I felt the whole place light up. This was the song that so many of them related to and it made them feel accepted, hell it made me feel accepted in my own fucking band just because we were just like these kids and when we wrote that song we were on no scale okay.
Frank was being a madman all around the stage as he usually did but halfway through the song he stopped beside me readying himself for his signature 'Trust me'. It got to his part and he faced me, sharing my microphone, but instead of just saying trust me as a line of the song he said it to me, sending shivers down my spine, As I opened my mouth to sing my next line I felt his lips connect with mine and move in time with my heart beat. The kiss was rushed and filled with sweat from both of us but perfect in so many ways. It was like I was passing all my worries into him and he was just extinguishing them in each note that he strummed. He pulled away and smiled in a way that I couldn't work out what It meant; If he was happy, impressed or if it hid a different emotion entirely.
We finished the set and were all pretty pleased with our performance that night. There were no tech issues, no accidents (happened with Frank a lot) and none of the kids freaked out about my hair, I know that sounds vain but I was seriously shitting it about that.
But there was still one thing that bothered me. What did Frank's little smile mean? He could hide behind so many expressions it was hard to tell what he was really thinking most of the time. I was like a book with perfect pages that allowed you to see every last detail of a diagram, whereas Frank's pages were torn and frayed leaving you to make up parts of what was showing but never really knowing what was there.
I needed a walk to clear my head, even if it was around the dressing rooms and tech area, I needed space but as I turned a corner I could see that same smile spread across Frank's lips as he stood against a wall staring at me dead in the eye.
So sorry this hasn't been updated sooner I've been hella busy and really couldn't find any inspiration. I promise the next chapter will give you something to look forward to. Does anyone else feel like I can predict th future with Gerard dying his hair again? Cause I was all like FCUKING HELL I AM A PHSYCIC!