Frank has one request
Despite the smile that was burning my eyes I continued walking down the hall towards anywhere that would get me away from him. My strides were long and fast but I wasn't fast enough. I felt a firm grip on my arm and upon inspection it was covered in tattoos meaning it could only be one person, Frank.
"Hey" he said so casually as he turned me around to fully look him in the eye, "Where are you off too?"
I didn't want to answer; I had no idea what would happen if I told him anything, he would probably think I was lying whatever I said.
"Nowhere inparticular" I said, my voice cracking with those last syllables, "I just needed a walk"
"Then you wont mind if I walk with you" My body shivered with these words knowing that I just wanted to get away from him. I could never lie to myself and say I trusted him because I just couldn't anymore.
I wanted to run away from all of this confsuion that was happening in my head and just have everything back to before. When we were just friends that were in a band together, when we all had seperate relationships that didn't involve anyone from our band, back when I was happy with Lindsey and we had our beautiful baby girl, Bandit, together. Fuck, I missed them in that moment. Thing's were easier with them; we had a stable family back then and I wasn't dating a completely bipolar maniac that couldn't make up his mind whether he loved me or hated me and I found I was feeling the same for him. I would wake up some mornings not caring that he might hit me because I loved him but right now I was scared shitless of what was to come.
We started to walk in no particular direction, Frank making small talk and me trying to answer everything in a way that he would approve. He suddenly stopped but I kept walking not realising why he had stopped.
"Gerard!" The sudden outburst of my name making me jump. I turned to see the smaller man standing against a wall with an expression of what looked like concern spread across his face. However this was not real concern, it was too obvious, too readable, there was something hidden behind it. "What are you thinking about?" I didn't answer for fear that I would say the wrong thing and I would somehow be punished for my thoughts.
There was an awkward silence in which my thoughts were running wild not being able to make up something that I could even understand myself nevermind anyone else. The silence was becoming too long and tense for me to bare much longer, I thought I was about to scream and shout and drown out my thoughts with just pure noise but I was interupted by that same voice.
"Well since you're not going to tell me what you were thinking about I'll tell you what I'm thinking about... you" He said that last word so sweetly that it erased all the bad thoughts I had been having of him in those last few moments. I felt my cheeks flush with a crimson glow and let my head drop, my bangs falling in front of my face to sheild me from any embarressment. I could hear the crew moving around in another room and I did not want them to see me like a little girl with a crush.
When I was sure I wasn't glowing anymore I lifted my head to see Frank directly in front of me. He opened his mouth to speak again and I wished he hadn't; "I mean you're such a little whore how can I not think about you?" His head tilted to the side and his hand wrapped around my right arm making sure I couldn't run away. I started to squirm under his grip which made a small menacing grin spread across his lips.
"Oh Gerard" He said laughing, "you really need to learn that you really are worthless" I could feel tears gather in my eyes just from these small words that hurt me so much.
"DOWN!" He shouted at me with that grin still there.
I acted confused but I knew what he wanted.
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