Categories > Celebrities > 30 Seconds to Mars > One night to change your life
He was slapping me. In my face. It hurt. I couldn't bare the pain. His hands drew further down my body as he started slapping and punching me at the same time. I saw a standing figure, looking at me, keeping long distance from me and holding a firearm. I looked at him terrified and he started moning the gun towards his face. I didn't realized who was there because my vision was blur. Suddenly, my raper punched me hard on the stomach and I screamed my lungs out. The unmistakable taste of blood filled my mouth and I started spitting. Then I heard a gunfire and I screamed again. The body felt next to me and I looked shocked. It was Jared. He comitted suicide. But why? Why he did it? With the only force that was left in me, I started crying. I couldn't see anything. The guy still was punching me and it hurt more and more. My breath hitched. My heartbeat slowed. My vision went black. And I was gone.
I woke up in the middle of the night, sweat dripping from my forehead, my cheeks drenched by my cries and my breathing hard. I just woke up from a nightmare. A nightmare that reminded me the reality. Maybe I wasn't raped like this, but the main issue remains the same. Every time someone wanted something from me, they never simply asked. They always ordered me to do it, wether I wanted it or not. I was forced. Many times I wished my mother gave me away or have an abortion. Because as she said, I was a mistake, and nobody would ever treat me properly.
But then, there was Jared. What did he do in my nightmare? I only met him once in my life. And he was the only person who treat me well. But in my nightmare, he seemed like he hated his life, as I did. But it was a nightmare at all, it couldn't prove true.
I raised from my bed and headed to the bathroom. As I looked my self in the mirror, I saw my make up scattered in all over my face. And then realized that I was still on my dress and boots. Obviously, I fell asleep right after I came back home.
There was no why that I would go back to sleep until the sunrise, so I sat on the pillow wall I made next to the wall-length window of my bedroom. Watching outside the window, there was initiating through the streets of L.A., even if it was almost 4 a.m. At least, now I had the time to see what was going on around me instead of being in places that I didn't want to be. Cars in the driveway, drug dealers in dark alleys, doing what made them happy, people still walking through the street. Suddenly, I spotted a couple. Hugging. Then kissing. And my eyes filled with tears that didn't want to escape. I should have strong heart, which I had, but facing such vivid images in front of me made me think how it would be if I was in this position. Not in the place of that girl, but generally happy. Maybe I would be happy in the future, but for now, it was just an impossible dream.
From the other hand, I still had flashes from my dream. At least, I was supposed to see my raper in this little memories I had, but instead, I saw Jared. The way he looked at me while I was screaming. And then, the way he looked when he fell on the floor, dead. I was so scared just in the thought of this. I didn't want him dead. I wanted him alive. To get more into my life. I just wanted to be sure he was still somewhere in the world.
While I was thinking, I realized that never in my life I cared for someone too much. I always wanted people to die. Because basically, the people with whom I associate so far, wanted something from me. But Jared, against the others, just asked for my number and if he would see me again. This made me fell something in my stomach, and it wasn't tendency for vomiting. It was something else. Trust. I was so used in people that now I could see who I have to trust or not. And this time, I was going to do the first one.
Note: Hello everyone! I know, this chapter is short, but I'm writing tests at school everyday and I need time to study. But I promise, I'm gonna make it up to you as soon as possible by writing another chapter till the end of November, hopefully.
I woke up in the middle of the night, sweat dripping from my forehead, my cheeks drenched by my cries and my breathing hard. I just woke up from a nightmare. A nightmare that reminded me the reality. Maybe I wasn't raped like this, but the main issue remains the same. Every time someone wanted something from me, they never simply asked. They always ordered me to do it, wether I wanted it or not. I was forced. Many times I wished my mother gave me away or have an abortion. Because as she said, I was a mistake, and nobody would ever treat me properly.
But then, there was Jared. What did he do in my nightmare? I only met him once in my life. And he was the only person who treat me well. But in my nightmare, he seemed like he hated his life, as I did. But it was a nightmare at all, it couldn't prove true.
I raised from my bed and headed to the bathroom. As I looked my self in the mirror, I saw my make up scattered in all over my face. And then realized that I was still on my dress and boots. Obviously, I fell asleep right after I came back home.
There was no why that I would go back to sleep until the sunrise, so I sat on the pillow wall I made next to the wall-length window of my bedroom. Watching outside the window, there was initiating through the streets of L.A., even if it was almost 4 a.m. At least, now I had the time to see what was going on around me instead of being in places that I didn't want to be. Cars in the driveway, drug dealers in dark alleys, doing what made them happy, people still walking through the street. Suddenly, I spotted a couple. Hugging. Then kissing. And my eyes filled with tears that didn't want to escape. I should have strong heart, which I had, but facing such vivid images in front of me made me think how it would be if I was in this position. Not in the place of that girl, but generally happy. Maybe I would be happy in the future, but for now, it was just an impossible dream.
From the other hand, I still had flashes from my dream. At least, I was supposed to see my raper in this little memories I had, but instead, I saw Jared. The way he looked at me while I was screaming. And then, the way he looked when he fell on the floor, dead. I was so scared just in the thought of this. I didn't want him dead. I wanted him alive. To get more into my life. I just wanted to be sure he was still somewhere in the world.
While I was thinking, I realized that never in my life I cared for someone too much. I always wanted people to die. Because basically, the people with whom I associate so far, wanted something from me. But Jared, against the others, just asked for my number and if he would see me again. This made me fell something in my stomach, and it wasn't tendency for vomiting. It was something else. Trust. I was so used in people that now I could see who I have to trust or not. And this time, I was going to do the first one.
Note: Hello everyone! I know, this chapter is short, but I'm writing tests at school everyday and I need time to study. But I promise, I'm gonna make it up to you as soon as possible by writing another chapter till the end of November, hopefully.
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