And if your heart stops beating I’ll be here wondering did you get what you deserve; the ending of your life!
I woke with a pounding headache, disoriented, and feeling a bit woozy. Then all the memories of last night came flooding back to me in a rush, making me smile like a fool. I whistled a happy tune until I became fully aware of my surroundings. Thank GOD mom and dad weren’t coming home until like Monday cause it was going to take forever to clean this mess up. Beer cans, liquor bottles, food, and what I hoped to God was beer was all over the floor. The smell coming from the den was enough to gag a maggot!
“Hey girls, get up! We got a mess to clean up before they come home! And I mean a filthy, stinking, huge mess!” I yelled, hoping they would hear. Sure enough, they all came grumbling in except Tierney. She actually came in giggling holding hands with Trace!
“Aw, get it get it!” Hayley winked, making Tierney blush.
“Walk with me to my motorcycle babe?” Trace asked, putting on his aviators.
“I’ll be right back to help you guys clean up.” Tierney called over her shoulder.
We waited till the door shut and let out whoops and hollers and started laughing. After we finally calmed down enough to clean up, we set about it in a hurry. After a few minutes, Tier came back in with a smile of ecstasy. We decided to clean in teams so we would get more done faster. Half of us picked up the food, the other half picked up the cans and bottles that littered the floor. There were so many that it took about an hour and a half to get them all picked up from the bottom level. The food didn’t take that long to pick up but it still took a while. We couldn’t believe that the mess was this huge…Finally everything was picked up and moved on to mopping and dusting and spraying air freshener so you couldn’t smell the booze. We even let up the windows for the rest of the afternoon so the downstairs could air out. After five and a half hours of cleaning, the house was finally clean and we could rest. It was only about 6, so we decided to order pizza and buy movies on demand. We had just gotten settled in when the doorbell rang. I hesitantly got up to get it and I opened the door to a mysterious guy that had enough tattoos to give TNT a run for her money was at the door holding flowers. It was so ironic I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself.
“Is Triana home?” he asked nervously.
I yelled for her and she came to the door.
“Derek! I can’t believe you’re here! I can’t believe you remembered where I lived, either!” She blushed.
“Well erm…can we still go on our date that you promised me?” he asked nervously.
“I’d love to. Just give me about an hour to get ready and we can go.” She smiled.
She ran up the stairs two at a time and set about getting ready.
I couldn’t believe that Derek remembered our date and I didn’t! Honestly, I didn’t think he’d show up. But the fact that he did meant the world to me. He had more tattoos than I did and we shared all the same interests in music, books, beliefs, and movies. I hurriedly got a shower and got out, borrowing Leash’s blow dryer and straightener. I picked out some clothes from my bag, glad that I had brought so many outfits. I finally decided on some dark purple skinnies, a silky black button up, and my rainbow tie I used as a belt. I slapped on some eyeliner, ruby red lipstick, and thanked god I had clear skin so I didn’t have to worry about putting on foundation. I pulled on my converse, and ran downstairs, eager for my date. I hope the girls hadn’t given him too hard of a time…
We were all so excited for Triana! Derek seemed like a pretty well guy that would treat her right, so we weren’t all that worried. We saw Triana walk down the stairs and we wolf whistled at her. Derek couldn’t take his eyes off of her the whole time, and he took her hand as they walked out the door.
“Have fun love birds!” Angela shouted over the TV before they walked out.
“We will, don’t worry your pretty little head Ang!” Triana laughed in response.
About halfway through the movie, I fell asleep. Someone woke me when the movie was over and I trudged up the stairs to my room. I collapsed on my bed and fell into a fitful sleep. I had kept having the same nightmare over and over: my mom standing over my bed with a gun in her hand, forcing me up and kidnapping me. She would torture me, beat me, and other harmful thing she could do, she did. I woke up in a cold sweat and walked slowly to my bathroom, wanting to get a shower as soon as possible. I hopped in, and saw my razor sitting on the edge of the shower. It gleamed in the light as if to say “Use me. You know you want to. I can make the dreams go away and make you feel so much better. If you love me, you’ll do it.” I waged war with myself for what seemed like hours. I wanted to cut so badly…it always made me feel so much better. It made me feel like all the weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I didn’t want to disappoint mom and dad or my uncles though. I looked at the razor long and hard, waging an internal war with myself. Go ahead and do it. What are they going to do, inspect your arms or legs? I don’t think so. You know you want to. Don’t you want to feel good? Yes I do, but I don’t want to at the same time. Oh well, one time wouldn’t hurt though would it?