"I think this is a nightmare. Or rather, it soon will be knowing my luck." Read, review, rate and feel my love :P
(#) youcanstakemyheart 2011-11-26 03:13:32 PMThis was a really good chapter! I liked how it was just his train of thought, it was really simple and easy to follow too. Please update soon!
Author's responseThank you very much, I'm glad that you liked it and that it was easy to follow. Sometimes I think/write stuff that my own mother doesn't understand, so I was kind of worried that it would be some incomprehensible wreck, but I'm very pleased that you've reassured me otherwise. Thank you sooo much for reviewing and I'll try to update ASAP (I try to update daily whenever possible). Thanks! :)
(#) tortillachip 2011-11-26 03:26:27 PMI think the way this is written is very interesting. It was a very clever way to continue and to tell us what happened. It would've been completely fine if you continued it by Gerard and Mikey bursting into the room, and I'm sure that if you chose to do it that way it would still be great, but I think this way we got to feel it ourselves instead of us having to feel it through Gerard and Frank. I mean, in Mikey's point of view we get to see exactly what happened and we get to know exactly how he felt when it did happen, but if we heard it through Gerard and Frank, we wouldn't feel the fear that Mikey felt during his nightmare. I hope that made sense. I really like this part. "Which is what I want, I want to go back to him. More than anything. No. Not back to him. Back to my big brother. But my big brother’s dead. Has been for years." I thought it was very clever. I really like how Mikey would say something and then would come up with something else. Like here, when he says he wants to go back to Gerard, but then says "No. Not back to him. Back to my big brother." It was a really clever way to show how bad Mikey really felt about things. It also showed that Mikey really believes that they can never get back to the way they were before. Once someone's dead, their memory still lives, and that's all Mikey has of Gerard as a non-parent, non-druggie. I also thought it was clever to show how little self confidence and self esteem Mikey has by him saying how he felt about his stutter, and how the kids in school used to treat him. He really thinks he's "less than worthless", and that he causes all bad things to happen. Only the kids at his school
and Gerard are to blame. There are soany things I love about this, and I want to tell you all of them, but I feel terrible. It feels like I was stabbed in the chest, and it hurts even more to cough. Well, this is wonderful and well written and I just love this.
Author's responseThank you soooooo very much for reviewing! Originally I was going to write it as Gerard and Frank bursting in, I'd even started writing out that version of this chapter, but decided that it didn't sound quite right. Besides, I decided it was time for Mikey to have a chapter in his point of view. I agree with what you say about feeling it through Mikey instead of Gerard/Frank; I wanted to create a sense that Mikey really does have a reason to the way that he is, that really bad stuff has happened to him. I guess I kinda wanted to make the reader sympathise with him and get an idea of the sort of things that go on in his head, so I hope that came across alright.
I'm glad that you liked the whole thing wwhere he was like I-want-him-but-not-him-because-my-brother-is-dead, I wanted to convey how bad he felt, as you put it, and how mixed up he is inside.
Once again, your interpritation is spot-on. I wanted to write Mikey as the kind of character who has been pushed down so many times that he's starting to wonder whether it's even worth getting back up and the sort of person that blames himself for everything. Kind of a people-pleaser in an introverted, anxious sort of way.
Thank you soooo much for being so nice about what I write; it really does put a genuine smile on my face!
Anyway, HERE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF MY RESPONSE; GET WELL SOON! I sincerely hope that you get well ASAP. From the reviews you leave I would say that you are a genuinely nice person who doesn't deserve to be ill; so I wish you a full and lightening-fast recovery!
Thank you soooo much for taking the time to review! :)
(#) KobraBlaze 2011-11-26 04:19:11 PMWow this chapter is so well though about and written out really well. It's really cool how you can write out all of that and still stay on the same scene. It's just... Brilliant. I like the ending of the chapter too. The way mikey is having a nightmare and then it just ends with who I presume Gerard shouts "Mikey!". Theres just so much suspense. Update soon!
Author's responseThank you very much; I'm relieved that it didn't come across as confusing! I'm extremely glad that you liked it and that I managed to create some suspense. Thank you soooo much for being so nice about my writing and taking the time to review; I'm very grateful! :)
(#) MCRnum1fan97 2011-11-26 05:35:34 PMi love this story its so full of emotion and suspence and its easy to understand and its so well discribed in a way you can relate to it even though it hasn't happened to me. one thing i dont understand though is why in most of the previous chapters that in the authors noe you kept saying how you hoped it "wasn't too crap" im confused on how you can call any part of this story crap its trully amazing and i love every bit of it. if im compleatly honest its one of the best mcr stories iv'e read in a long time so please update soon i cant wait to read more of this awsome story
Author's responseThank you very much; I'm glad that you liked it! About the Author's Note thing; I get kinda nervous every time I update that people will hate it, it's sort of like stage-fright, I guess. Thank you soooo much for leaving such a lovely, uplifting review; I'll be sure to update ASAP! Thanks again! :)
(#) CatscanFlyy 2011-11-27 01:38:07 AMHi, I've just read allof this and it's so beautiful, Mikey is the sweetest thing I love all the inner dialog and the first chapter practically brought me to tears, please update soon! I shall be waiting! C:
Author's responseThank you so much! I'm glad that you like it; I'm especially pleased that you think Mikey's sweet because that's how I was hoping he'd come across as. Please don't cry! I try to update daily (whenever possible) and reading reviews like this really motivates me to give it my all, so I hope that your wait won't be too long! Thank you very much for taking the time to leave such a lovely review! :)
(#) SyraStrange 2011-11-27 01:47:54 AMGod, getting stuck in your own head can fuck with you so much... Trust me, myself, of all people should know. Mikey really needs some love. Like, now. Great chapter; it reminded me of those times when people forget to talk to people, and end up having all these delusions, the crazy ones. Please continue, you made me so happy; knowing that people actually do this; make other people happy.
Author's responseThank you very much; I'm soooo pleased that you liked it! Yeah, Mikey's needing some love; but will he get it?
I'm extremely glad that I made you happy; knowing that has put a smile on my face! I'll update as soon as it humanly possible. Thanks for taking the time to review! :)
(#) Dollydaydream31 2011-11-27 12:27:31 PMThis really good! Much better than at least 70% of the stories on this site, because you seem like you're trying to make it story not just a random fiction about the band. xD UPDATE PLEASE!
Author's responseThank you very much; I'm happy that you liked it! I am trying to make it a story, whether I'm succeeding or not is a different matter entirely. I'm actually typing the next chapter up now, so give it an hour or two and it'll be up.
Thank you soooo much for taking the time to leave such a nice review! :)