Frank slammed the door behind him, and as he did, my knees buckled and I was crying on the floor. Tears streamed down my face, smudging my liner, but I could care less right now. I heard a light knock on the door and said "Go away" I didnt say it harshly... another knock "Go away!" I said a bit louder. I heard the door click. I turned around, tears still down my face, I wiped my eyes as I said "I said to go aw..." I looked up too see Mikey standing in the doorway.
"Oh" was all I could manage to say. I turned away from him and over to my desk littered with crumpled drawings, pencils, and one or two coffee cups. (try ten coffee cups) "What do you want." I spat at him bitterly as I sat down in my chair and crossed my arms. I faced the wall, my way of saying "fuck you" without having to say the words.
"Gee..." his voice cracked. His voice cracked. Cracked?! He only spoke like that when he was really upset. My brotherly instincts got the better of me and I turned round. His hair was a mess and his eyes were red and puffy from crying so hard. I was about to walk over and comfort him when I remembered what he did to me. He deserved to feel like shit for once, I crossed my legs and said with venom "What?"
"Gerard.. Im...Im...s-s-" I cut him off "Sorry? Oh Mikey.. ofcourse I accepted your apology" I said sarcastically "What the hell id wrong with you Mikey!!" I stood and gestured with my arms. "You kissed MY BOYFRIEND... I fucking care about him Mikey... and when you left.. Im pretty sure he just broke up with me... so you and him can both fuck the hell out of my life and go be happy prancing princesses together.. I dont need either of you..." I turned and walked to the bathroom... locking myself in so he couldnt see the tears flowing from my eyes. I put my head in my hands and cried for what could have been hours.
I wiped away my tears when my eyes became so sore that if I cried anymore I might have gone blind. I rose from my position and walked over to the mirror. I put my hands on either side of the sink for support and looked at my reflection. What did I see? I saw someone who was pathetic ... how could I ever think that things would work out for me? They never do.. why did I start hoping now.... "Your fucking useless..." I whispered to myself as I let my head hang low. I idly stared at the sink. Pure crystal white.. soap in the dish... a tooth brush and toothpaste in a cup... a orange bottle. That caught my eye. I picked up the bottle and examened the label. They were Anti-Depressants. I didnt even bother to looks at the name or instructions, before I knew it I was twisting off the white pharmacy lid and popped a couple pills into my hand. I stared at the round pill... white against my alabaster skin. I didnt even know what I was thinking, but next thing I knew the pill was in my mouth and I swallowed hard.
I looked back in the mirror and almost smiled at myself and I laughed at myself slightly. Maybe things would be alright?
I put the bottle in my pocket and walked out to my room. I sat in the centre of my bed and spent all night staring at the blood red walls of my room.
Ill be okay... Ill be okay... Ill be okay...
Well be okay... said a voice in my head... Well be okay Gerard... just us... no one else.