"I didn’t even move out of shear fear that it would result in another swift kick to the stomach. "
Chapter 2: Give Me a Shot to Remember and You Can Take All the Pain Away From Me
I woke up in excruciating pain, and to Peter’s voice, in the exact same spot where I had cried myself to sleep.
“Oh your still here. Really Sarah it’s kind of pathetic how you just beg for attention like this.” he grunted at me.
I was frozen, I couldn’t move. Last night was the worst beating Peter had given me in awhile, I didn’t even move out of shear fear that it would result in another swift kick to the stomach.
“Not talking are we? Well I’ll be home later tonight from work, and you better be here this time.” he said coldly as he grabbed his coat and stepped over me as he left the house.
I laid on the floor 30 more minutes after he left. I finally decided not lay in my puddle of tears and self pity anymore and finally picked myself off the floor. Every time I moved I felt pain and I cried out. I was still wearing the same exact clothes from last night. I thought about last night, and how great it was until I came home. I thought about Molly forcing me into the rancid bar. I also thought about Frank, the guy I had met there, and what if Molly was right, what if he was better for me? But he wouldn’t me anyway, like Peter always said “I’m all you have baby, no one is going to want you after me.” His words were always replaying in my head. He always was going to have complete control over me. I kind of learned to shake off the beatings the next day. I just looked at them as one giant imperfection in my life. But I guess I did something to deserve it. I walked over to the table next to the door and reached into my purse and grabbed my phone. Molly called last night, this morning, and I had a missed call from a strange number I had never seen before. Along with the missed calls were three voicemails. I called my voicemail and put in my password, and let them play.
“You have three new messages first message.” I heard the robotic voice on the other side of my phone say.
“HEEEEY, I am safely Mother, just incase you are wondering. I hope you rushed home to your pretty boy doctor for a good reason. Because I was so close to taking that boy home with me.” I heard Molly’s drunken voice blabber. I pressed seven on my phone and deleted it.
“Ugh hey, my head hurts like crazy. Anyway wanted to see what you were up to today. Gerard called me I might go do something with him. But call me later, bye!” this time I heard a very hung over Molly on the other end. I deleted that one as well.
“Hey, uh. Hi. I don’t know if you remember me, but it’s Frank. Frank Iero from the bar last night. It was really great to meet you. I was wondering if we could get together soon. So uh yeah bye. Gerard how did that sound? Was it smooth? You told me to be smooth. Oh shit I forgot to hang up. Motherfu---”
“End of new messages” the end of the message was cut off with the robotic voice.
I replayed again; listening to Frank’s cute and nervous. I actually laughed pretty hard at the last part of it. I could hear the embarrassment rise up in his voice. I felt another thing, those damn butterflies I had felt when I first saw him last night. Peter wouldn’t like this. I looked down at my hands as I put my phone on the table, they were still shaking. I did one of the only things I knew would calm me down I made myself a cup of coffee. After the black liquid had filled up the pot I poured it into a mug. I didn’t even bother to get creamer, I wanted the bitter, almost foul taste in my mouth. I downed the cup and placed it in the dishwasher. Knowing how Peter would react if I had left it in the sink, and it wasn’t something I wanted to go through again.
I walked up to our bedroom; he had made the bed, one less thing for me to do. I picked up the picture on his nightstand; it was him and I at our high school prom. We used to be so happy, he used never lay a hand on me. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, and now not so much. But he loved me, and I guess that was enough to justify everything. I set the picture back down and went into the bathroom. I figured it was finally time to look at myself in the mirror after last night.
I pulled my brown hair back into a ponytail, as I looked up in the mirror. I had black lines running from eyes from the mascara I cried off throughout the night. There wasn’t a scratch on my face. Peter was too smart for that, he knew Molly would figure it out if there were any marks on my face. I grabbed a mirror from the bathroom counter and turned around. I held the mirror up and examined my neck. There was huge purple and red bruise on my neck, probably from when he threw me against the wall. I put the mirror back down and stripped off my clothes from last night, so that I was only in my bra and underwear. I picked the mirror back up and looked at my back. There were a few marks but those were from previous beatings. Iturned around and looked at my stomach. There was a bruise that inhabited about 75% of my stomach. It was black and purple, and whenever I moved it sent a sharp pain through my body. But I knew I needed to clean myself up. I got in the shower; I didn’t even turn the nozzle to hot. I just let the cold water cover my body as I thought about how it had all gotten to this point. I used to be so strong. Peter had broken me down, I belonged to him. I couldn’t leave, even if I wanted too, and I desperately knew I needed too.
“Damn it Gerard, she isn’t gonna call me back. Especially after that message.” I whined, as Gerard sat on the couch drinking his coffee as he watched Monty Python.
“Relax man she will. But you know you could have deleted it and tried again.” he said.
“What! I didn’t know that! Why didn’t you tell me!” I exclaimed, pacing in front of the TV.
“Cause I knew watching you freak out, would be more entertaining than Monty Python.” Gerard chuckled.
“Fuck you. Seriously, I never get girls. I always just sit while you reel them in, with your ‘I don’t give a fuck about anything you do attitude.’” I mocked him.
“Your just mad because it works.” he smirked at me. “I had that girl, what was her name Mary?” Gerard questioned himself.
“Molly.” I sighed.
“That’s right Molly. I had her eating out of the palm of my hand. Psh she thought she was in control, it was quite amusing.” he laughed.
RING RING RING
“Ah speak of the devil, that’s probably Molly.” Gerard said confidently.
He walked over to his phone and picked up.
“Hello sugar. How are you this morning.” he put on his smooth act.
He was so good at it, it drove me crazy how this came to him out of nowhere. In high school he was such a loner, no one ever spoke to him. Now out of nowhere he comes home with a different girl almost every night.
“That sounds great. Seven tomorrow sounds great. Oh and bring your friend, cause Frank will be there too.” I heard him say as I tuned back into the conversation.
“Mkay, bye sugar” Gerard rolled his eyes as he hung up the phone.
“She is an aggressive one, she just might give me a run for my money.” Gerard said a little intrigued.
“What are we doing?” I asked him, not caring about his latest chase for sex.
“Well tomorrow the four us are going out. This means you need to get your shit together! I will not have you ruin your chances with this girl you seem to be so taken by.” he said as he hopped back on the couch.
“Okay. I can do this no big deal.” I said nervously. I was just hoping I really would be able too.
Later that Night
I didn’t go out all day. I didn’t even call Molly back from the six times she had called me. She told me Frank, Gerard, her, and I would be going out tomorrow. I was hoping I would feel up to it. I really hated being in this house. I stayed here and cleaned all day in hopes that Peter would be happy when he came home. I had cooked pot roast with some mashed potatoes for dinner. It was eight now, and I heard him pull up in the drive way. I just finished setting the table when he came in.
“Hello sweetie.” He grinned widely as he came over and kissed me on the cheek.
“I just wanted to say how sorry I was for last night. I love you so much and work just stresses me out and I hate when I take it out on you, it kills me inside.” he said apologetically. was better than being beat.
“I also got you these.” he smiled as he pulled a dozen red roses out from behind his back.
“Oh Peter they are just lovely. Thank you so much dear. I love you too.” It felt good being appreciated again. I gave him a kiss on the lips, glad things were going so well.
“I made dinner, your favorite. Pot roast and mashed potatoes.” I smiled and grabbed his hands and led him to the kitchen.
“It looks just wonderful baby. I love you so much.” he put his arm around me and kissed me on the forehead.
After we ate he cleaned up everything which was really nice. It reminded me of how we used to be, and it was nice, and I was happy. I headed up to the bathroom and washed my face. I felt Peter’s arms wrap around my waist. I cringed as I felt him touch my bruise.
“Hey you” he whispered in his ear as he kissed me on the neck. I knew exactly what he was getting at.
“Not tonight honey.” I was a little scared of what he would do.
I felt him freeze for a minute, then he backed away. I looked up in the mirror and saw him behind me and he looked calm.
“Okay, you had a long day, and night last night. I’ll see you in bed.” he softly smiled. I didn’t know what was going on, but I was just glad I hadn’t been hit.
I didn’t know how much longer this could last, but I was grateful to survive another day.