breaking up is hard to do...
After that night at the party Gerard had been acting beyond weird. Every time I would flirt with him he would get all tense and just brush me off. I wondered if I had done anything wrong as I did my math homework. Gerard had called me earlier to see if he could come over to
hang out, I had said yes, but something in his voice just made me worry about what our relationship had turned into. Did he still love? Was he loosing interest in me? I bet it was that girl in our chemistry class, she's been all over him since the first day of school. If this
was true was he seeing her behind my back? All these thoughts crowded my head and just didn't let me pay attention to what I was doing. I continued pondering the idea of Gerard cheating on me and tried to decide on weather to let him know how I feel or just play it out cool
for a while.
The door bell rang and I heard my mom answer it. Gerard's voice filled the whole house with his thick new Jersey accent. I heard my mom tell him that I was upstairs followed by foot step coming towards my door. The door swung open and Gerard stood there looking better than
usual. His raven black had been cut allowing his hazel eyes pop out.
" Hey." I greeted him.
" Hi. " He answered as he awkwardly walked over to my bed and sat down. I looked closely at him and examened his every move." Soo...." He began the conversation. I sighed and stayed silent for a minute before speaking.
" Gerard what happened to us?" I asked in a low whisper. He looked shocked at first, but then his facial expression turned into a confusing look. He sighed deeply before looking straight at me.
" What are you talking about Valerie?" He asked. Something was definitely wrong he never called me Valerie he always called me val.
" Gerard cut the shit. " I said getting annoyed with the way he thought I was stupid.
" Look I didn't come over here to fight okay?" His voice was rising.
" Oh yeah? Then what did you come to do 'cause we never do anything anymore! You don't like to cuddle or make out so I have honestly no idea what your doing here!" I yelled, I could feel the tears threatening to spill. Gerard shook his head and got up. " where are
you going?!" I asked.
" Anywhere but here. " He replied as he slammed my door shut. I ran after him to find him already gone. I sat on my front door step and began to cry. What had just happened?
* A week later *
I hadn't heard anything from Gerard since the day he came over. I've been hanging out with Brendon and Ryan lately. I just needed to get away from Gerard.
I was sitting on a bench under willow tree reading a book when I felt someone tap me on the shoulder. I turned around only to groan and get up.
" Val please can we talk?" Gerard said in a pleading voice.
" Oh, so now you want to talk?" I said as I continued walking over to the lunch area.
" Look I know that I have been acting like a total ass, but please I really do think we should talk. " I stopped walking and decided that I might as well listen to what he had to say.
" Keep going. " I urged him to continue.
" Truth is that ever since that night at party when I kissed Frank... I-I felt something weird. Something that I can't explain. But I just can't get him out of my mind! I don't know what to do." He had been thinking of someone other than me. I stayed quite while I tried to
decided what I had to do.
" Val please say something. Anything, just talk!" Gerard said.
" I think.... I think that we should break up. " As soon as those words left my mouth I regreted them. I didn't want to break up with. I wanted to hug him and cry. I wanted his soothing voice to tell me that it was going to be okay.
" What? Val please anything, but this!". A tear escaped my eye and roll down my cheek. I quickly wiped and looked away from him suddenly finding that the tree was more interesting.
" Look your obviously thinking about some and this time it's not me....and I-I just cant be with you if your thinking of someone else." I said looking back at him and noticed a tear fall from his eye.
" So this is it? Your just going to dump me?" He said in a low voice.
" I guess so. At least until you feel that you really love me." I answered looking straight into his hazel eyes.
" But I do love you!" He shouted as he stepped closer. I turned my back towards him and stepped farther away from him.
" But you also like him, I'm sorry Gerard." And without another word I left him standing there under the willow tree. I ran back to the lunch area tears dripping down my eyes. I searched around for Heidy and found her sitting at Frank's table.
" Oh my god! Val your crying. What happened?" Heidy asked which earned me a few stares from the people who were sitting at the table. I then noticed that Gerard was walking back over to the table.
" Heidy can we go and talk somewhere else?" I asked, my voice shaking as I spoke. She nodded and we ended up talking in the hallway.
" What happened?" She asked looking worried.
" Heidy I broke up with Gerard!" I said, before breaking down int tears. She only hugged me and said nothing as I cried away my pain.
>>>>>>>> Later That Night >>>>>>>>>>
I can still hear her sweet voice. I miss her so much I guess I really fucked this one up. I laid down on my bed starring out into nothing. When she told me that we should break up I felt my whole world die down. I felt angry at myself for letting this happen, when I saw her at my table standing there next to Heidy.... I almost died. She was broken, and it had been my fault. If I hadn;t kissed Frank none of this would have happened. And then in art, she sat on the other side of the room with Heidy. She didn't look at me the whole class, and when I got a clear view of her face I could tell she had been crying. I felt horrible to say the least. I wanted to run up to her pick her up and kiss her.
But I can't help how I feel for Frank.. Oh god what am I going to do? I don't really like him do I? No, of course not it was just a kiss. Right?
Oh god. I'm so sorry for not updating it's just that I couldn't come up with anything and then I got grounded.. I'm just a mess. I can not tell you guys how sorry I am for not updating. Well anyways I do have a couple of Ideas for this love story, so there will be updates faster. I also wanted to run by the idea of making a sequel. Well anyways please R&R!