It started out with a kiss, how did it end up like this?
He couldn't face Brendon, he couldn't believe what he had just done. "Look Brendon, I'm really sorry. I've wanted to do that for...forever." Ryan started to ramble. "I-I just....didn't know what I was thinking. Please don't hate me. I didn't mean-" Brendon silenced him by pressing his lips against his own, holding Ryan's face as he moved his lips against the older boys, making Ryan breathless. After Brendon thought he had proved his point, he pulled away with a large grin on his face.
"I wasn't mad. You just caught me off guard." Ryan was silent for a moment, looking down as he breathed out.
"Brendon?" He peeked up at the younger boy.
"Yes?" Brendon questioned with a small smirk
"I think...I think I might love you." Brendon's small smirk grew to a large grin.
"I love you too, Ry." Lips against lips.
"Can we....go somewhere more, private?" Brendon nodded a yes.
Brendon picked him up, carrying him to the bedroom that they would share, placing him on the bottom bunk before getting on top of him. Lips against lips followed by tongue against tongue. A battle for dominance, bandaged hands against sensitive skin, groin against groin. They moved slow. Panting, sweating, soft moans. Ryan tossed his head back, Brendon trailing kisses down his expose flesh.
"I've wanted this for so long." Ryan panted, and Brendon smirked up at him, giving a soft kiss before humming his response, his nimble fingers working to undo Ryan's belt so he could pull his pants off.
"I have, too." Getting Ryan's pants off ended up being a challenging task,and it ended up taking Brendon a lot longer than it was supposed to. Once Brendon had gotten his pants off, he started to lick and suck at his cock through his boxers. Ryan let out shallow moans, one of his hands tangling it's fingers in Brendon's soft hair, the other gripping the sheets.
"Brendon." The younger boy ran his hands over Ryan's body, toying with the older males nipples as he continued to drive him mad. "Bren, just fuck me." Brendon sat up, removing his own clothing before turning to face Ryan. He looked ridiculously adorable, and extremely desperate.
Brendon sucked on his fingers, feeling Ryan's gaze on him as he slowly took them out of his mouth. He pressed the first one in, waiting for Ryan to get over his discomfort to push it in and out before adding another. It took a while, but in a matter of time Ryan was a moaning wreck beneath him. Panting and groaning and begging for more. Brendon pulled his fingers out, smirking down at the other boy. He placed his tip at Ryan's entrance.
"Ready?" Ryan nodded and Brendon started to press-
Ryan's eyes shot open, and he looked around him with eyes wild and wide. The room was the same, the only difference being the fact that he was alone in his bed. Beads of sweat were dripping down his face, his erection throbbing under the sheets as his head pounded. He closed his eyes, willing his heart to stop racing. After a minute, he calmed, and quickly got out of bed. He looked up to see that Brendon was asleep in the bunk above him and he gave a small sigh, hating himself.
He needed to get out. Even if everything was just a dream, he couldn't help but feel like he would cry whenever he saw Brendon's face. And if it wasn't just a dream, then everything would be ruined. He just couldn't handle the reaction he would get from Brendon when he woke. He had to get out.
He redressed so he was wearing all of his clothes, pulling on his boots before slinging his weapons on. He took one last glance at Brendon, running a hand through his messy hair. He bit his lip, closed his eyes, and let out a nervous breath. "I'll miss you B." He turned on his heel, grabbing a bottle of water before walking out the back door. There wasn't a single person guarding the back, and he took it to his advantage, grabbing a bike before walking towards a main road.
As soon as he was on it, he got on the bike he took, lighting a cigarette between his lips before taking off down the twisted path.
Brendon turned around, ready to wake Ryan so he wouldn't slip in a comma. He jumped down when he realized that all of Ryan's things were gone. He mentally slapped himself for not being as self aware. Sure enough, Ryan's bunk was empty, everything that showed that he had been in the room gone. He closed his eyes, running a hand through his hair. He couldn't be that far away, that was for sure. He looked around the room for a moment before giving a small sigh. He walked out of the room, making his way to the kitchen like area in their little temporary sanctuary.
Spencer was there, just like he knew he would be. He hovered over a pot on the stove, looking distant, so mentally far away, despite how close his physical form was. Brendon made his way over to him, looking down in the pot just the same as Spencer was.
"How's Jon?" Spencer visibly snapped out of the trance he had previously been in, looking over at Brendon. It took him a minute to register the words that had been spoken before he finally responded.
"Okay. I guess. Maybe." A tear rolled down Spencer's cheek. "Shit, I don't know." He wiped the tears out of his eyes, smearing the wet trail the first tear had made. Brendon gave a small sigh.
"Thought so." he tapped the counter, looking at Spencer once more. "What about the others?" Spencer shrugged.
"Fine. They all seem so tired, they just keep sleeping. Those that wake just seem so....So far away." Spencer stirred the slop they would no doubt be eating as their only meal for the next few days. "I've tried talking to some of them, they just stare like it doesn't register. There's only one that I've gotten through to- I just...This situation we're in B, it's not a good one." Spencer looked over at Brendon with worried eyes, a fleeting glance that begged the other boy to tell him that everything would be fine. But Brendon honestly couldn't say if it would be okay or not, so the look was ignored as Spencer's eyes flickered back down to the stove.
The two were silent, unable to come up with the words they needed to tell each other. The sentences that could be used to pull them together. It was almost as if they were too far gone; unable to handle what had started to happen when they were just kids.
Hell, they still were just kids.
Brendon remembered what he came out to ask, and he gave a small sigh, running a hand through his filthy, greasy, dirt and ash covered hair. "Do you know where Ryan is?" Spencer stopped what he was doing, completely frozen. A fear settled itself in his stomach, making him unable to move as his mind started to race with one thought, one single, tiny, thought, that could very well mean the end for all of them. It was the fear that he was gone. That they were alone to try and pick up this mess of a world, or at least try to survive it, without him. It made the other boy uneasy.
"No. No, no, no, no, fucking no! Don't tell me he's gone!" Spencer screamed the words over and over again, cursing the world as he almost knocked over the food he had been cooking. Tears were freely running down his face, but he was trying so hard, so fucking hard not to punch and kick and scream at everything and everyone. "He can't be fucking gone! We need him!"
Brendon shifted from foot to foot uncomfortably, not knowing what to do. After a minute of Spencer screaming into his hand, Brendon hugged him, holding his arms so the other boy couldn't punch him. He spoke in a calming and hushed voice, knowing very well that everything he was saying was utter bullshit. "Spencer, you just need to calm down a little, okay? I know he left, but it's Ryan! For gods sake! He'll come back, and you know that. He wouldn't ever leave us, not when he knows we need him. He'll come back, I just know it."
Spencer had stopped crying, holding onto the arms that were wrapped around him. He sniffled, nodding his head as Brendon smiled. Deep down, the younger boy knew everything he had said was a lie. If Ryan had left, he wasn't going to come back. He was overwhelmed, and he collapsed under the weight of his own thoughts, under his own guilt. Brendon knew that, because he knew Ryan.
"He'll come back, I promise." Brendon let go of Spencer before looking at the food. "I think it's done." Spencer nodded and Brendon gave a deep sigh after the older boy made no movement to turn the fire off. "Fuck." He let out another sigh, turning off the burner, trying hard not to slap Spencer. "Call a meeting okay? Wake everyone up. I'm thinking it's time we get to know our new house guests." Spencer stared at him, and Brendon started to glare. "Move!" Spencer jumped at the sound of Brendon's voice, but Brendon didn't care. They needed to get their shit together before it falls apart; and it had already started to.
Spencer moved past Brendon, who gave an irritated groan. Things were definitely falling apart.
The motorcycle raced down the highway, and despite how free he was, Ryan still couldn't help but feel trapped. There was this crushing feeling he had, something that made it hard for him to breath, to think. If he had been just a little more careful, if he could just turn back the clock the slightest bit, he could. No. He wasn't going to think about it. He gripped the handle bars of his bike, knowing his knuckles were going white. He didn't kneed to think about it.
It seemed to go faster, and the wind was blowing around him, the empty feeling in the pit of his stomach keeping him warm from the bitter wind. He weaved the bike between abandoned cars and cadavers, the bike being close to skidding more than once. But he didn't let up, no, he needed to just go faster.
He was running away, though he wouldn't ever live up to it. Everything that happened scared him more than he could ever admit. He felt that they were falling apart, and that it was completely his fault. He needed to get away from them, before he had a chance to ruin them anymore. He had to run; from the past, the future, and everything he had done.
He closed his eyes momentarily, taking in a deep breath, his helmet making it hard for him to breathe. When he opened them, a half dead animal ran across the street, getting perfectly in his way. He turned his bike, a second to late, a moment gone. And it was just him, the asphalt, hunks of metal, broken glass, and the body of a dead animal lying in the middle of the abandoned road.
There were at least fifteen new people sitting in a small circle with those that had been there before. Each person had a bowl of the slop they were calling food, and a small cup half filled with water. It wasn't much, and Brendon knew that. Each of the new kids really seemed to be thinking of nothing, their minds straying from what the real world currently was, though none were sure what they were actually thinking about. Brendon leaned back, looking at all of the faces.
"How about this, we can go around in a circle and all just say our names?" He tried to run the group, knowing very well that Spencer wasn't in the right state of mind to do it, and that Jon was busy thinking about things that none could guess. The twins seemed to be aching with the loss of their sister, as was Dementia. The strange and lost faces all looked up at him, and he bit his bottom lip as he tried to remind himself to keep it together. "I'll go first. My name is Brendon." He turned to Spencer, who mumbled his name, hardly loud enough for the others to hear.
The girl next to him spoke, her dark brown hair falling in her face, going down to slightly past her shoulder blades. Her big grey eyes seemed to shine dully, obviously tired, just like the others. Her hand went to tuck some of her hair out of her way and behind her ear, showing her pale face and soft features. "Kacy." She mumbled in a hushed voice, the movement making the small hoop that threaded through her lip shin under the dull lighting. Brendon gave her a smile, giving a small nod of approval. This was good, people were listening to him.
A boy next to her spoke in a tired tone. "Aaron." Bright blue eyes the color of the ocean scanned the other kids faces. They caught Brendon's eyes, and there was just something about them he couldn't quite figure out what it was. His blond hair was choppy and untamed, something that all of the kids seemed to have in common. It seemed that they didn't really get taken care of, their hair growing long and untamed. His pierced lip curled into a smile as his eyes caught Brendon's again.
Brendon quickly let his eyes fall on the next girl. "Rhiannon." Her long brown hair seemed to be pulled in notes, covering her pale skin and dark blue eyes. Her lip was pierced, a small stud at the corner of her mouth. Brendon nodded his approval. They were doing what he asked, and they were doing a somewhat good job at not saying more than what he needed. Names, faces, and that was it. Everything else could be figured out when Ryan got back. He just had to wait.
The next girl went, her name was Nora; a thin yet tall girl, copper hair slightly past her shoulders, eyes the color of a calm storm. The girl next to her muttered her name in the same hushed voice, Alexandria, hazel hair that was extraordinarily long, pooling on the floor around her, dark blue eyes, the color of a bluejay. Two sibling like kids went next after, a girl named Alicia, tangled wavy hair going around her face and down to her shoulders, her bangs close to completely covering her moss green eyes. The boy next to her was Cameron, his matching blond hair a mop on his head, freckles covering his pale skin, dark green eyes having stray strands of hair falling into them.
Just as the next person was getting ready to mutter their name, Louie ran in, saying that they needed to be quite, because there was a pack of monsters outside the door waiting to get in and kill them all, they all fell silent, Brendon rising to grab a gun, telling the others to hide. Jon and Spencer stayed with him, and they stayed silent for hours. Spencer stared into Jon's lost eyes, wondering if he even knew who he was.
Ryan crawled across the deserted highway, attempting to find a place to rest for the night, away from the cold desert air. He drug his weapons with him, everything feeling sore as he dragged his body and weapons amongst the broken vehicles and scattered corpses. He breathed heavily, knowing that he was bleeding somewhat heavily. Maybe he should regret leaving, but he couldn't, wouldn't. Not if it meant that he could stay away from destroying what they had.
He found a small shack, the lights on, the sound of laughing. There was a sense of panic that spread through him, reaching to the core of his being. He could die. He could walk up those steps, and the people on the other side could be monsters. They could kill him. They could try to eat him, stab him, rip him to shreds. Or they could be nice, the rare people who didn't want to kill the rest of the living humans on their earth.
His mind scanned the pros and cons; if he knocked on the door, there was an eighty percent chance that the people on the other side would want to kill him. On the other side, if he stayed outside he would die. The chances of him surviving was slim, but he knew he had to make it.
He started to climb up the steps, collapsing onto them. He breathed out heavily, the blood pooling under him. He breathed heavily, trying to get up, to reach the door and get inside, but he had no more strength. He was just so tired. So fucking tired. He closed his heavy eyes, rolling on his back. Maybe if he just rested for a moment.
There was the feeling of someone pushing him ever so slightly, and he opened his eyes to see a figure in all black picking him up. And soon enough he was in the warmth of a building, the smell of fire and food, he heard faint voices, but was too tired to make out what they were saying. He gave up, letting his eyes close once more, giving into the night and the warmth.
Natalis Solis Invincti.
TheAnonymous: I don't think I'm going to stop it anytime soon. It's one of the ones that I'm just going to keep writing until I feel like there's been enough said, I reach the end, or the sun explodes.
So we should be good. And I'm glad that you're excited to read new chapters, makes me feel like working extra hard to get them out.
PartyPoison: You mange to more than you would think. I think you're just going to have to wait and see if going into a shut down animal testing lab is the best of ideas. I will say, that for the next chapter, a lot of the inspiration comes from the song Dolls Polyphony from the movie Akira.
Anyway, hope you like it and stuff.