Categories > Books > Harry Potter > Professors Make The Best Machmakers!
You Want Us To Do WHAT NOW? Part Two
0 reviewsThe Hogwarts Professors have HAD IT! This is Lily's and James' finnal year at school, and the teachers are Hell bent on getting them together if it is the last thing they do, and Albus has even sta...
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Disclaimer: I own less of this story then I own of the air you breathe! The point is, I own nothing.
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CHAPTER 5: You Want Us To Do WHAT NOW? Part Two
Remus Lupin moan miserably along with everyone else, asides from the Professor who had placed this misfortune upon them.
"You can't be serious!" he groaned helplessly at the Muggle Studies Professor, who looked suspiciously delighted at her student's anguish.
"Actually, Moony, she's Professor Hyphianne and I'm Sirius."
See what he had to deal with?
"Shut up, Padfoot. If you ever say that horrible joke again, I will be forced to castrate you with a wooden spoon." Remus growled.
"Hey! What does my more intimate anatomy have to do with my ability to tell appalling puns?" Sirius demanded, wincing at the no-so-subtly-implied threat.
"Are you saying that you would be okay with it? If you are in doubt, keep talking." the Werewolf dared him solemnly.
Sirius grimaced. "No, I think I'm good."
XXXX
A Desk Or Two Away
XXXX
"Nooo..." Lily said faintly. "This cannot be happening..."
"I'm going to die." James proclaimed next to her. "There is no way I'm going to survive this."
"Who out there have I pissed off so thoroughly enough to deserve this?" Lily wondered.
"By the moons of Jupiter, why /me/? Why /this/?"
".../Refuse/ to do this... I can transfer classes! Or schools...! Or countries...! Continents...? Planets...? /Galaxies/!"
"I could have picked Alice, Jenna, or even Maria. Hell, Malfoy I could deal with even; since I could hex him and all. But by all the stars, why /this/!" James pled to the air.
"What room have you to complain, /Potter/?" Lily snarled.
"The room with the large sign saying 'HOSTILE: DO NOT ENTER. AGGRESSIVE REDHEAD' on its door." James moaned.
Lily scowled, but before she could retort, the cause of all this erm... happiness called the room to order.
XXXX
At The Front Of The Room
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"Well, now," Professor Hyphianne exclaimed cheerfully, clapping her hands together. "Before we start, would anyone like to say anything?"
Every single student in the room raised their hand (in some cases raising both), and Orlanda fought to keep a strait face. Deciding she could use some entertainment, she scanned the room, and pointed to the franticly waving hand of Remus.
"Yes, Mr. Lupin?" She asked innocently. "Do you have any questions, comments, or concerns?"
"Yes, YES/, and /YES!" the seventh year all but screamed. "Is there any possible way to get out of this, or at least switch partners?"
Orlanda smiled evilly at her charges, and said plainly and simply, "No."
"WHY NOT!" Lily demanded angrily, she and sevral others in the classroom leaping to their feet in anger.
The Muggle Studies Professor looked at her as though she though the girl impertinent. "Because I said so."
"Because you said so?" exclaimed James in disbelief, standing as well.
"Because I said so." Orlanda confirmed.
"Well that's just bloody /great/!" sneered Lucius Malfoy from the back row, where he eyed the brown-haired Ravenclaw he'd been paired with in unhidden disgust. From the loathing glaring the brunette was leveling at the blonde, it was apparent the feeling was mutual.
"I'm glad you are all seeing the importance in this assignment!" Orlanda beamed at them all, ignoring their sarcasm. "Now, for the rest of this term, you will be as close to your partner as I can possibly /force you/."
Remus let out a muffled sort of shriek.
"And if we refuse?" drawled Malfoy, standing up and crossing his arms.
"Then you will be thrown in the lake with the giant squid," Orlanda said seriously.
Lucius stared at her, his arms falling to his sides.
"What?!"
"Then you will be throw-" Orlanda began to repeat dutifully.
"That can't be legal!" James insisted.
"THE MOON IS CHEESE, JAMES POTTER!" Hyphianne screamed once again, causing everyone to jump. "The only thing 'legal' in this classroom is whatever the hell I say! Now /sit/, everyone!"
"We are not /dogs/!" exclaimed Lily indignantly, throwing herself back onto her chair.
"Speak for yourself," Sirius muttered a few chairs over.
Suddenly, the bell announcing the next period rang. Before you could blink, the student had rushed out the door in a massive stampeded to put as much distance between themselves and their rather questionably sane teacher as possible.
The only occupant of the room, Professor Orlanda Hyphianne, sat in her chair next to her desk and cackled.
Long and hard this Professor did cackle, effectively frightening the hell out of her next period class, who eyed their only exit warily from their seats.
Poor unsuspecting /sods/.
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Another chapter down! I hope you all like it! Announcement Time!
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CHAPTER 5: You Want Us To Do WHAT NOW? Part Two
Remus Lupin moan miserably along with everyone else, asides from the Professor who had placed this misfortune upon them.
"You can't be serious!" he groaned helplessly at the Muggle Studies Professor, who looked suspiciously delighted at her student's anguish.
"Actually, Moony, she's Professor Hyphianne and I'm Sirius."
See what he had to deal with?
"Shut up, Padfoot. If you ever say that horrible joke again, I will be forced to castrate you with a wooden spoon." Remus growled.
"Hey! What does my more intimate anatomy have to do with my ability to tell appalling puns?" Sirius demanded, wincing at the no-so-subtly-implied threat.
"Are you saying that you would be okay with it? If you are in doubt, keep talking." the Werewolf dared him solemnly.
Sirius grimaced. "No, I think I'm good."
XXXX
A Desk Or Two Away
XXXX
"Nooo..." Lily said faintly. "This cannot be happening..."
"I'm going to die." James proclaimed next to her. "There is no way I'm going to survive this."
"Who out there have I pissed off so thoroughly enough to deserve this?" Lily wondered.
"By the moons of Jupiter, why /me/? Why /this/?"
".../Refuse/ to do this... I can transfer classes! Or schools...! Or countries...! Continents...? Planets...? /Galaxies/!"
"I could have picked Alice, Jenna, or even Maria. Hell, Malfoy I could deal with even; since I could hex him and all. But by all the stars, why /this/!" James pled to the air.
"What room have you to complain, /Potter/?" Lily snarled.
"The room with the large sign saying 'HOSTILE: DO NOT ENTER. AGGRESSIVE REDHEAD' on its door." James moaned.
Lily scowled, but before she could retort, the cause of all this erm... happiness called the room to order.
XXXX
At The Front Of The Room
XXXX
"Well, now," Professor Hyphianne exclaimed cheerfully, clapping her hands together. "Before we start, would anyone like to say anything?"
Every single student in the room raised their hand (in some cases raising both), and Orlanda fought to keep a strait face. Deciding she could use some entertainment, she scanned the room, and pointed to the franticly waving hand of Remus.
"Yes, Mr. Lupin?" She asked innocently. "Do you have any questions, comments, or concerns?"
"Yes, YES/, and /YES!" the seventh year all but screamed. "Is there any possible way to get out of this, or at least switch partners?"
Orlanda smiled evilly at her charges, and said plainly and simply, "No."
"WHY NOT!" Lily demanded angrily, she and sevral others in the classroom leaping to their feet in anger.
The Muggle Studies Professor looked at her as though she though the girl impertinent. "Because I said so."
"Because you said so?" exclaimed James in disbelief, standing as well.
"Because I said so." Orlanda confirmed.
"Well that's just bloody /great/!" sneered Lucius Malfoy from the back row, where he eyed the brown-haired Ravenclaw he'd been paired with in unhidden disgust. From the loathing glaring the brunette was leveling at the blonde, it was apparent the feeling was mutual.
"I'm glad you are all seeing the importance in this assignment!" Orlanda beamed at them all, ignoring their sarcasm. "Now, for the rest of this term, you will be as close to your partner as I can possibly /force you/."
Remus let out a muffled sort of shriek.
"And if we refuse?" drawled Malfoy, standing up and crossing his arms.
"Then you will be thrown in the lake with the giant squid," Orlanda said seriously.
Lucius stared at her, his arms falling to his sides.
"What?!"
"Then you will be throw-" Orlanda began to repeat dutifully.
"That can't be legal!" James insisted.
"THE MOON IS CHEESE, JAMES POTTER!" Hyphianne screamed once again, causing everyone to jump. "The only thing 'legal' in this classroom is whatever the hell I say! Now /sit/, everyone!"
"We are not /dogs/!" exclaimed Lily indignantly, throwing herself back onto her chair.
"Speak for yourself," Sirius muttered a few chairs over.
Suddenly, the bell announcing the next period rang. Before you could blink, the student had rushed out the door in a massive stampeded to put as much distance between themselves and their rather questionably sane teacher as possible.
The only occupant of the room, Professor Orlanda Hyphianne, sat in her chair next to her desk and cackled.
Long and hard this Professor did cackle, effectively frightening the hell out of her next period class, who eyed their only exit warily from their seats.
Poor unsuspecting /sods/.
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Another chapter down! I hope you all like it! Announcement Time!
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